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Original poster

If you were 44 and found out you were pregnant?

688 replies

HillsHaveEyez · 05/02/2021 21:00

Would you have it?

I’m not asking for advice for myself. Just interested in whether you personally would go ahead with a surprise pregnancy at such an advanced age.

OP posts:
user1471604848 · 05/02/2021 23:07

Depends.
If you were 44 and pregnant after years of trying and multiple IVFs, yes.
If you were 44, with a couple of teenagers, then less likely.

For context, I was 47 having my twins, after years of tying, and it has been the best decision ever.

SoulofanAggron · 05/02/2021 23:07

I'm 44 and no.

But then I've got used to not having children, I'm happy with my life as it is.

I'm not bothered about the energy demands of having children or anything, just got other things I enjoy doing.

Fatas · 05/02/2021 23:08

@tinylittleyou I’ve said nothing about younger mothers because I see it as a choice that each woman makes. Honestly, I even think that there’s pros to 16 year olds having kids. I won’t go into them because that’s not what the thread isn’t about. But I think you’ll find most of the jiffy comments are about older mothers

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Fatas · 05/02/2021 23:08

Judgy

Strugglingtodomybest · 05/02/2021 23:09

I don't give a crap what anyone else would do but no way would I have had a third child at any age!

TheVanguardSix · 05/02/2021 23:09

I had my youngest at 42. I think 43 is the absolute cut-off point. At 44, I'd have carried on with the pregnancy, sure. But let's put it this way: I'm glad I wasn't pregnant at 44.

beelzeboob · 05/02/2021 23:11

@user1471604848 how wonderful x

ViciousJackdaw · 05/02/2021 23:11

Not a chance, I'd be on the phone to Marie Stopes in minutes.

LongIslandIcedT · 05/02/2021 23:13

It's a tough call for me. I started having babies in my 20s so I don't feel I could go back to the baby stage mid 40s, a friend of mine has just had one at 39 and her baby is beautiful but I just think rather her than me. I truly feel that I'm past that stage now, I have teens and pre-teens so it would feel like a huge step backwards. It would also be a big miracle given DH has had the snip.

minniemango · 05/02/2021 23:14

No chance, 35 was an absolute cut off for me.

VinylDetective · 05/02/2021 23:15

I bet there are plenty of older mums who feel sad for younger mums having all the responsibilities of having kids at a young age, because they'll never experience that feeling of youth, in their 20's, travelling the world, not a care in the world. The only concerns is what town to stop off at on the next leg of the trip! Just the sheer thrill of complete and utter independence, no responsibilities, the flush of youth that one will never get back

That’s a very idealised - and unrealistic - view of youth. These days someone in their 20s is more likely to be establishing a career, worrying about money and trying to save a deposit for a flat than taking a grand tour.

I did all my travelling and started my adventures in my late 30s. Independent, established career, responsibility for kids behind me and a shedload more money to travel in style. A lot of the women my age with little kids were deeply envious.

HerRoyalNotness · 05/02/2021 23:17

Yes. I had my last at 44. I’m knackered and have health issues but I wouldn’t undo it.

Squeejit · 05/02/2021 23:18

I’m very pro choice but I’ve learned that where my womb’s concerned I bond with them from day dot.

I’m 44 with twitchy ovaries. Whatever sense tells me, I’d probably follow my heart.

Fatas · 05/02/2021 23:19

Yes I totally agree @VinylDetective with everything you say here. Indeed, that’s what I was thinking when I said there’s pros to having children at 16. For me I had my children at 39 and 41 and I’m happy with that choice

idontlikealdi · 05/02/2021 23:19

Would entirely spend on my situation, finances in particular

Lactofreemeatballs · 05/02/2021 23:20

I am 44 and no. Not now... and I had my last baby at 39

PyongyangKipperbang · 05/02/2021 23:20

I probably would have done yes. Now I am pushing 48 and wouldnt, but then my eldest is 30 and my youngest is 10 so I definitely know that the next baby I hold will be a grandchild!

CayrolBaaaskin · 05/02/2021 23:22

Yes. I wasn’t much off that with dd2 and a couple of mums in her class are that age.

SilverSemblanceSoftly · 05/02/2021 23:24

Have the baby, and I did exactly that 😂😂

grassisjeweled · 05/02/2021 23:25

Yes

IlonaRN · 05/02/2021 23:25

I'm 46 and ttc so yes :)

CayrolBaaaskin · 05/02/2021 23:26

@VinylDetective - I spent years travelling in my child free 20s. It would not be the same now and if you have an “independent established career” you wouldn’t want to give it up at the peak of your earning potential in your 30s and early 40s.

People should of course do what suits them or how life turns out. But I would generally say young motherhood is a barrier to career and travel for women and statistics bear me out.

SilverSemblanceSoftly · 05/02/2021 23:26

@VinylDetective

I bet there are plenty of older mums who feel sad for younger mums having all the responsibilities of having kids at a young age, because they'll never experience that feeling of youth, in their 20's, travelling the world, not a care in the world. The only concerns is what town to stop off at on the next leg of the trip! Just the sheer thrill of complete and utter independence, no responsibilities, the flush of youth that one will never get back

That’s a very idealised - and unrealistic - view of youth. These days someone in their 20s is more likely to be establishing a career, worrying about money and trying to save a deposit for a flat than taking a grand tour.

I did all my travelling and started my adventures in my late 30s. Independent, established career, responsibility for kids behind me and a shedload more money to travel in style. A lot of the women my age with little kids were deeply envious.

I’m sure a lot of people weren’t deeply envious either, and couldn’t really give a toss...

🙄

Chimeraforce · 05/02/2021 23:28

No

heidipi · 05/02/2021 23:28

It depends where you are in your life, plus all the other circumstances to take into account. Just as you would with a surprise pregnancy at any other age, surely. I had my DC at 41 and 43, so it's pretty much what I did but if I already had DC in their teens or similar it would have been a whole different thing.

I'm 51 now and was supposed to have a coil removed and replaced in Dec but the GP couldn't fit the new one - she said several times "don't get pregnant!" and "use a condom!" and has since phoned to check I've followed her advice. It's like being 16 all over again Grin

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