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Original poster

Why do people care so much the weight of others?

106 replies

simmeringexistentialdread · 02/02/2021 17:47

Thread after thread after thread on here...discussing weight.

Lots of...'genuine question..why can't people just lose weight when they know it worsens covid outcomes/increases the risk of poor health etc?'

My question is why do you care?

I never see the same strength of questioning directed to the myriad of others with self-inflicted illnesses.

Why are there not the same amount of threads asking why people can't stop smoking, stop drinking to excess, stop engaging in risky sexual behaviours etc...

If it's a matter of overweight people 'being a burden on the healthcare system', well all the above are as well!

But really, why do you care about someone else's weight? These threads run into several pages, and it's just people constantly saying that 'oh, obese people could lose weight if they wanted to, but they just keep trotting out excuses' or similar.

But why are you even on this thread hypothesising potential reasons and berating overweight people. Would you also go on thread where someone has asked why people keep smoking when they know it can cause lung cancer/COPD/ hypertension....and say 'oh, people can stop smoking if they want, they just choose not to'?

I'm just wondering why these weight threads provoke so many opinions from people.

OP posts:

zzizzer · 03/02/2021 06:49

In answer to the OP, being overweight puts you at greater risk from covid. If drinking or having sex had the same effect, then people would be asking the same question about those.

LandGirlJudy · 03/02/2021 07:06

I really need to wear my glasses more because I thought this said Why do people care so much about the weight of otters

lightlypoached · 03/02/2021 07:23

I care about it because obesity is another epidemic that's been with us for ages, and very little action seems to be taken to help people to avoid it. Regulation of the food industry, of marketing and advertising is urgently needed. Kids and parents need education in food and how to cook and manage food budgets. People need to have enough money to buy decent food, and enough time to cook it. And we need to stop preaching, and start supporting people to make a lasting change to their lifestyles.

I saw a programme once about obesity and an expert from Oxford uni said she thought it was a miracle more people weren't fat as we are bombarded with cheap, gratifying and fattening food choices all day, every day. To resist is a constant struggle she said. We need to turn the tables on that in a major way.

I say this not as a judging overweight people type person, but one who wants to see kids able to run and play without getting puffed out, to see adults getting the may benefits and enjoyment and joy from being able to be physically active, To help people avoid the considerable suffering that goes with being fat - diabetes, heart strain, physical struggles, chafing thighs, fewer clothes to choose from, uncomfortable seating - the list goes on and on.

I used to smoke and I remember the constant niggling anxiety that I was killing myself. Every sore throat was cancer, every cough was a lung tumour, yet still I carried on, but desperately wanted to stop. The introduction of the smoking ban indoors finally made me do it. The relief is immeasurable. I still hate myself for spending so many years stupidly smoking when I knew how dangerous it was, but I needed help at a societal level to make me stop and keep it up. Obese people need the same, in my opinion.

Oh and if you really, really love being overweight and do it with your eyes open, then fine. But from my conversations- like smokers- most fat people really don't want to be but just find it to hard to change.

GreenWheat · 03/02/2021 07:27

I suppose it's because it is a community health issue now that NHS resources are so stretched. For what it's worth, I see plenty of anti-smoking threads and posts (and rightly so in my opinion!)

midgedude · 03/02/2021 07:42

To sum up ... why do people care about other people ?I thought caring was a good thing ?

LittleRedCourgettes · 03/02/2021 07:49

I hate the judgey people pretending to care about the poor fat people too op. Such sanctimonious twats .

But there's LOADS of preachy sober stuff online.
Smoking is massively reduced in public spaces now.
And slut-shaming is definitely a thing.

As a society we judge. Sad but true.

Ylvamoon · 03/02/2021 07:55

Because overweight people cost money and resources to the health care services.
Something we all pay for.

... and then the complaining, can't do this, can't do that because of X - all related to the weight issue.

Highfalutinlootin · 03/02/2021 07:56

I don't, and I get really annoyed at people who do. I even ended a friendship once with someone who was just obsessed with body shapes and weight, especially women's, and would always comment on it when we were out and about. It was so boring and tedious.

I have friends of literally all shapes and sizes, and we never talk about it. So many more interesting things to discuss.

rawalpindithelabrador · 03/02/2021 07:58

@midgedude

To sum up ... why do people care about other people ?I thought caring was a good thing ?

If people cared about other people they'd demonstrate that in their actions. This isn't caring, it's judging people under a pretext. Not the same thing.

Rockbird · 03/02/2021 07:59

It's nothing to do with covid. Fat people have been looked down on and judged for years before this. Covid is just another handy hook to hang the 'concern' on.

Karwomannghia · 03/02/2021 08:07

It’s being judgemental. It’s not as if overweight people need to be told they’re overweight. They know. But somehow lots of other people seem to think it’s acceptable to comment.
There’s a prevailing attitude that weight is all about self control and being slimmer is more attractive so why would someone not want to look nicer. So easy to say if you’re someone who doesn’t put weight on easily.

midgedude · 03/02/2021 08:13

There are no actions that anyone can take that are not considered judging by some people.indeed some fat people take insult from my normal behaviour , turning down pudding is taken as a judgment on them . It's not .

Hailtomyteeth · 03/02/2021 08:16

Socially acceptable way to be mean and horrible to others. The only people who can't look down on fat people are even fatter people.

MolyHolyGuacamole · 03/02/2021 08:17

Quite simply put OP, it's due to fat phobia.

To all those saying they judge other health issues the same, thing is you can't tell that someone has a drink or prescription drug problem just by looking at them. Fat people get judged just for existing because it's obvious.

CandidaAlbicans2 · 03/02/2021 08:44

Self righteousness.
Being thin or slim has in recent times been linked to self control and traditionally self control is seen as a virtue.

This, and the feeling that poor lifestyle choices often lead to bad health outcomes and consequently add to the NHS workload. People can’t hide the fact they’re overweight unlike secret smokers/alcoholics/drug addicts and people who don’t exercise, so their “vice” if you like, is in the public eye. We’re just as judgemental about seeing very drunk people or people off their heads on drugs; society doesn’t like that sort of thing to be visible.

borntohula · 03/02/2021 08:55

Why is weight so important to us as individuals? I've had many a conversation about weight with friends, it takes up a lot of space in my head!

sonnysunshine · 03/02/2021 09:00

I want my friend to lose weight as she is 55, over 20 stone and is very scared about covid, diabetes, heart disease etc

We are trying to lose together and encourage each other (I need to lose a stone and a half).
I do sometimes want to shake her and make her stop eating as I love her and don't want her to get ill.

NonagonInfinityOpensTheDoor · 03/02/2021 09:11

People will pretend they’re oh so concerned about overweight people’s health. At my biggest I would get the concerned looks and the patronising comments. I started calorie counting and was so focused on losing weight and being “healthy” I developed a serious eating disorder. I was hospitalised twice. But literally no one cared about my mental health when I was skinny. They just saw my weight and figure and said things like “well at least you won’t have a heart attack now”. Meanwhile I was having a genuine mental health crisis. I was self harming etc.

When I started to recover I had friends and family give me the health concern speech’s when I put weight back on (and in talking pounds here not stones) and actually reached a healthy weight. It was all bullshit. They didn’t not care about my health as was evident during my ED. They just cared about me not looking fat.

I was 100X more unhealthy during my skinniest time but the concern wasn’t there. Fat phobia is very real, and THAT is the real issue.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 03/02/2021 09:30

I care because it led to the fucking sugar tax which does affect me personally.

TheTreeThatSatDown · 03/02/2021 09:37

People like to feel superior to others, and it's easy to feel superior to a fat person, and think "well at least I'm not like that". I say that as a very fat person myself. All masked as faux outrage or concern, of course.

borntohula · 03/02/2021 09:50

@MilkTwoSugarsThanks

I care because it led to the fucking sugar tax which does affect me personally.

Oooh, that's an original angle, blaming fat people for the fact that you have to pay very slightly more for some things.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 03/02/2021 10:12

Oooh, that's an original angle, blaming fat people for the fact that you have to pay very slightly more for some things.

Nothing to do with cost. I have a bad physical reaction to the artificial sweeteners.

MolyHolyGuacamole · 03/02/2021 10:29

@NonagonInfinityOpensTheDoor

I was 100X more unhealthy during my skinniest time but the concern wasn’t there. Fat phobia is very real, and THAT is the real issue.

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 you hit the nail on the head there. It's all about how you look that how healthy you actually are. The majority of people who claim otherwise are lying.