Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

What's the worst advice you've had from MN?

277 replies

Dinkydonkytonk · 01/02/2021 09:51

I have personally received some good advice from this site, however with all the LTB! and other extreme reactions I want to know if anyone has had some truly awful advice from MN?
Or did you follow advice but it turned out to be the wrong decision?
Or did you really LTB but regretted it?

OP posts:
merryhouse · 02/02/2021 20:31

Astral cream as a face moisturiser.

It's a perfectly decent body cream, but it's far too heavy for my face.

Sainsbury's fish fingers - to be fair, the first few boxes were ok, it was only later that they started having a weird mouldy taste.

UserX · 02/02/2021 20:31

@x2boys

The constipation threads annoy the hell out of me ,there Will be an op posting about what sounds like faecal impaction and posters ,post all kinds of weird and wonderful advice ,I have a child with chronic constipation and faecal impaction is a serious and sometimes life threatening condtion a spoonful of prunes ain't going to magically cure it 🙄
Fresh orange juice!!
SittinOnTheDockOfTheBay · 02/02/2021 20:38

@x2boys

The constipation threads annoy the hell out of me ,there Will be an op posting about what sounds like faecal impaction and posters ,post all kinds of weird and wonderful advice ,I have a child with chronic constipation and faecal impaction is a serious and sometimes life threatening condtion a spoonful of prunes ain't going to magically cure it 🙄
Butter up the bum will soon fix that 😂
Littlepaws18 · 02/02/2021 20:40

I was told I was a relative spy of a person asking for advice about keeping a baby when her partner had left. This was because I was the only one suggesting not to go NC with her parents who were supporting her through it. Apparently they were abusive because they dared give an opinion about what she should do! If we followed all advice on here no one would be speaking to anyone!!

HibernatingTill2030 · 02/02/2021 20:46

@Avelandra

It wasn't to myself, but on a recent thread a poster was talking about their really severe endometriosis and if there was anything she could do as other treatment options hadn't been very successful. She mentioned that she was really struggling to work due to the pain, and was only managing to work a few days a week and hence was also really struggling for money. One of the replies recommended she have a baby to solve itHmm
To be fair, some doctors recommend this too. I think it's daft- of all reasons to have a child, I think to cure your own medical condition has to be one of the oddest. What if they aren't sure they want children, aren't in the right headspace to have them, etc etc?
Oblomov21 · 02/02/2021 20:47

I had 3 threads about Ds1 that were awful advice. I was ripped to shreds.

HibernatingTill2030 · 02/02/2021 20:48

@UserX

Poster asking how to fix a clogged toilet & gets told to put all kinds of horrible things down it: lye, coke, washing soda... no one mentioned a plunger until a plumber turned up about 3 pages in.
For future reference, a bucket of hot water poured down fast will clear most clogs.
x2boys · 02/02/2021 20:49

Always fresh orange juice @UserX which may well work for someone who hasent been for a day or two but if it's been three weeks since your last bowel movement fresh orange juice will do Jack Shit ( pardon the pun )

Aria999 · 02/02/2021 21:03

@PegasusReturns

That's a great success story! Normally MN is overflowing with 'you'll never work again if you're a sahm for a few years.' It's so depressing!

That and the 'nobody should ever be a sahm because no matter your personal circumstances your husband will certainly abandon you/ die and you will be in penury the rest of your life' brigade.

Arobase · 02/02/2021 22:02

I posted asking for views on dealing with someone at work who was mansplaining stuff within my area of expertise (and outside that of the mansplainer) and getting it wrong, with the potential of harming the business if his version had been accepted. I had tried politely explaining the basis for my views but he was still trying to make out he knew better. I was getting so hacked off I was thinking of posting a fairly squashing email saying I'd explained my reasoning, and I wasn't going to do what he wanted because it would be disastrous.

The majority of the advice on the thread was very sensible, i.e. that I should count to ten, tone it down in a big way, do what I planned to do and stonewall him. But there was one person who decided for some reason to take the greatest exception to the whole thing, said I should accept what Mansplainer said, I couldn't know I was right, I had made myself look ridiculous (at that point all I had done was give a polite explanation of my viewpoint), I was embarrassing myself and really I should shut up and Know My Place. It was all quite bizarre. I did wonder whether it could have been Mansplainer, but I'd taken quite a lot of trouble to disguise the facts and anyway he wasn't the sort to come on MN.

Needless to say, I followed the sensible advice and was happy to post an update thanking people for helping me resolve the issue , and reporting that a number of colleagues had expressed their full agreement with me and Mansplainer had gone quiet. Surprisingly, I didn't hear any more from the person who thought I should have obeyed the godlike Mansplainer.

UserX · 02/02/2021 23:38

“For future reference, a bucket of hot water poured down fast will clear most clogs.”

OR you’ll just have hot poopy water all over your bathroom floor instead of cold poopy water

steppemum · 02/02/2021 23:43

@UserX

“For future reference, a bucket of hot water poured down fast will clear most clogs.”

OR you’ll just have hot poopy water all over your bathroom floor instead of cold poopy water

this did make me laugh!
BadLad · 03/02/2021 00:58

Good thread here about rubbish legal advice

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_matters/1823135-Any-legal-people-about-to-take-a-look-at-a-thread?login=complete

Sadly, the original is no longer here - it was in Chat when it used to have an expiry date.

LakeGeneva · 03/02/2021 01:09

There was a really weird thread a bit ago where lots of posters said it's normal to have a smelly fanny. It wasn't just one person, but a whole bunch of them. That's definitely bad advice. Especially from the woman who said hers smelt so "meaty" that if she went into the bathroom, left and then walked back in (dunno why) she could smell meat. MEAT. There were people queuing up to tell the op this is normal.

turnitonagain · 03/02/2021 01:12

Advice about moving abroad or living overseas is always awful here. Every country other than the UK is absolutely slated. Canada is too cold, America too right wing, anywhere in Asia/Middle East anti woman or human rights. And apparently once a child is older than 8 if you change them to a different curriculum they’ll never get into a British uni.

And there’s also advice for expat women abroad if there is any trouble with their DH to kidnap their children back to Britain without his knowledge.

Even questions about moving to a different part of the country are very negative on the idea. I guess MNers all live within 10 miles of their birthplace?

Countdowntonothing · 03/02/2021 01:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MacDuffsMuff · 03/02/2021 04:06

Years ago when DS was about 3 (he's 16 now) he went through a stage of biting (mostly me!). I was given some good advice from some posters along with one maniac telling me that me only option was to give him a good hard stare before 'biting him very firmly on the arm'. When I said that no, I wasn't going to bite my toddler, this poster told me that I was a weak mother and that DS would forever rule over me.

He's a great lad.

Puffthemagicdragongoestobed · 03/02/2021 04:36

I was advised to pull out of a purchase of a terraced house in London that had the drain go underneath it and it would cause an issue with re-sale. I ignored the advice as I then read in a local forum that it wasn't unnormal for houses in the area. When I came to sell years later it was never an issue and we completed the sale without problem for very close to asking.

I have since become a bit wary of all the advice to walk away from house purchases on here.

Puffthemagicdragongoestobed · 03/02/2021 04:37

Oh and I had posted under a different name..

TooSensibleOfMyDefects · 03/02/2021 07:42

LakeGeneva

there was a really weird thread a bit ago where lots of posters said it's normal to have a smelly fanny. It wasn't just one person, but a whole bunch of them. That's definitely bad advice. Especially from the woman who said hers smelt so "meaty" that if she went into the bathroom, left and then walked back in (dunno why) she could smell meat. MEAT. There were people queuing up to tell the op this is normal

Almost every cleaning or washing thread is the opposite.

My daily routine is get up, strip bed and take off PJs and underwear I put on last night. Put them in washing machine on 90c cycle. Dowse myself in bleach (inside and out including fanny) and go in shower. Scrub entire body with soap. Dry body with clean towel fresh from the laundry. Wear clean clothes. Shower is cleaned before and after use.

Repeat shower steps at 12 noon, 4pm and before bed. Remake bed with fresh sheets. Put on clean underwear and clean PJs and get into bed. To be honest anything else is absolutely disgusting and I feel sorry for your family, friends and colleagues, you should be ashamed

TooSensibleOfMyDefects · 03/02/2021 08:13

*Douse obviously. Not a word I write often...

Parkperson · 03/02/2021 09:36

MN is great in lots of ways but the constant advice to LTB is wearing. The Relationship board is the home for a lot of posters who obviously have had a really difficult break up and their advice is so extreme and unhelpful for most posters. I don't seek out the relationships threads but they pop up all the time on active conversations.
It drives me mad that for many posters they seem to believe that women can do no wrong and they are always superior to the men in their lives, unless they are MILS, SILS or second wives.
I hate the Revenge threads,including the boast from one poster that she had taken her next door neighbours dog in the car and abandoned it twenty miles away. Also hate the ' gaslight your MIL into believing she has dementia threads. I always forward these to Age Concern and tbf MN now delete these. I hate these, it's a laugh to play tricks on your husband, MIL, SIL etc from some posters. Not nice.

TytheringtonTess · 03/02/2021 11:09

@TooSensibleOfMyDefects

LakeGeneva

there was a really weird thread a bit ago where lots of posters said it's normal to have a smelly fanny. It wasn't just one person, but a whole bunch of them. That's definitely bad advice. Especially from the woman who said hers smelt so "meaty" that if she went into the bathroom, left and then walked back in (dunno why) she could smell meat. MEAT. There were people queuing up to tell the op this is normal

Almost every cleaning or washing thread is the opposite.

My daily routine is get up, strip bed and take off PJs and underwear I put on last night. Put them in washing machine on 90c cycle. Dowse myself in bleach (inside and out including fanny) and go in shower. Scrub entire body with soap. Dry body with clean towel fresh from the laundry. Wear clean clothes. Shower is cleaned before and after use.

Repeat shower steps at 12 noon, 4pm and before bed. Remake bed with fresh sheets. Put on clean underwear and clean PJs and get into bed. To be honest anything else is absolutely disgusting and I feel sorry for your family, friends and colleagues, you should be ashamed

😂😂😂
Hardbackwriter · 03/02/2021 11:24

This isn't just MN - I've seen this 'advice' a lot in real life too - but it drives me mad that the advice given to mothers of babies and toddlers at the absolute end of their tether is always to 'treasure every moment/cuddle, it goes so fast!'. It's always retrospective - no one says that they, currently, are cherishing every moment just that they wish they had, conveniently forgetting why they didn't. The worst is when it's accompanied with a lecture on how much harder having a teen is, as if that's helpful for the mother of a baby who is hallucinating through sleep deprivation or whose toddler has screamed at them all day without let up.

On a more precise example, I tried cleaning our oven door with a dishwasher tablet, as recommended by MN, and it did fuck all.

And a final weird one - several years ago I was on a thread for people going through medical investigations for recurrent miscarriage. It was a supportive but obviously an unhappy place. Some random person came on to say that we should actually consider ourselves lucky because she disliked her adult son. I still sometimes wonder what she was thinking, though she did sound like a deeply unhappy person.

Frodont · 03/02/2021 11:27

I've had some good practical advice but anything to do with relationships and or schools has been shit advice.