What's the worst advice you've had from MN?

[Dinkydonkytonk]

I have personally received some good advice from this site, however with all the LTB! and other extreme reactions I want to know if anyone has had some truly awful advice from MN?
Or did you follow advice but it turned out to be the wrong decision?
Or did you really LTB but regretted it?

@doubleshotespresso

Being told by the "mother of a hospital doctor" that I should not attend A&E (I'd not asked for advice on this, more if they'd keep me in) as it was absolutely not an emergency and I'd be a drain on resources. I did go and it certainly was an emergency When corrected the poster never replied back.

This kind of "advice" really pisses me off as it risks lives. No qualified doctor would advise without examining someone- except to go to a doctor. So I would advice anyone not to listen to anybody telling them they don't need medical attention or that it's not an emergency- they can not possibly know.

You can't complain about being given bad advice if you haven't given people all the relevant information.

I thought about creating a thread on here a while ago about what to do in a certain situation. I decided not to when I realised I'd already made up my mind what I was going to do anyway.

I think you should ask MN for POINTERS

on anything, it's interesting to be given new ideas, new directions, new links to read.

But sheer advice? Nope.

@MaelyssQ

There are always posters who say book a free half hour with a solicitor for advice - it doesn't work like that.

Oh and the nasty neighbours on here - is it really worth winding them up by doing all the silly things suggested, in order to antagonise them even more, because they've had the audacity to complain about you?

Oh yes some terrible advice about nasty neighbours . I think mostly joking but some are incredibly extreme and sometimes it’s just someone parking in front of your drive . I saw a thread once that people were suggesting ridiculous things because someone had the brass neck to complain to the op for parking in her space. Yes I get they don’t own the road but some were suggesting vandalism etc. I pointed out that was it necessary to provoke someone just ignore the requests and I got properly flamed like it was me who told the op off for parking in her space .

Pretty much 90% of the advice that men are given on Mumsnet, is awful.

If it was a woman posting in the same situation almost all the advice would be reasonable. But, because it's a man the 'mumsbridgade' get all mental and assume HE is the one in the wrong - even when his wife/partner is patently a total psycho.

I do laugh at the strong reactions against obvious and pretty simple questions.

The best ones are the horror when faced with the suggestion of buying waterproof clothes

What else do you want people to say? Yes, it's raining. Yes It will rain again. So either you get wet, or you move in a sunnier country, or you buy a waterproof.

My DS’s teacher sat a disruptive student next to him, then when DS asked to move she refused saying she’d purposely sat disruptive child next to DS because DS is sensible. I asked if I would be U to email the teacher and complain. I was told by one poster to engage the services of a solicitor.

Reader I did not seek legal advice. I emailed the teacher and DS was moved next lesson.

I remember I posted something light-hearted and trivial once on a chatty thread, think it was along the lines of an attractive colleague in his running gear on the stairs in front of me or something. Really daft anyway.

More than one poster told me to leave my poor DH to find a decent woman, stop TTC with him and that I didn't deserve to ever have children since I was just a home wrecker in waiting etc etc.

It was the weirdest over-reaction ever. DH and I were on the waiting list for IVF after years of infertility, so that one stung a bit at the time.

I bought a steam cleaner .

Me: mentions problem, subtly mentions partner

MN: BREAK UP WITH HIM

It's the "is this ok to feed my child threads " that usually have my eyes rolling out of my head, so much sanctimonious bullshit.

Every time I mention my husbands job I'm told he must have a second family

I wouldn't say worst. I posted (NC) about a pretty horrible situation and got a good thick onslaught of LTB replies. I didn't, but it did change my perception of my own choices and communication habits, for the better.

Not me particularly, but advice to print off the thread and show it to an abusive person is never going to have a good outcome.

Also, whenever someone is dithering about whether to go to A&E, there will almost inevitably be some idiot who says "It's not an accident or an emergency, an emergency means it must be life threatening, wait till you can get an appointment with your GP". I remember one in relation to someone who was feeling awful, collapsing etc; some posters were absolutely vociferous that she couldn't go, despite the fact that there were qualified doctors, nurses and paramedics saying some of the symptoms could be serious and she really should. Ultimately, thank goodness, she heeded the HCPs' advice and called an ambulance; it turned out that she had very serious sepsis and came close to dying. If she'd followed the "hang on a wait advice" she certainly would have died.

Possibly the worst advice is "Trust your instincts". Given the host of really serious problems people regularly report on here, where in many, many cases the posters must have trusted their instincts to make the decisions they did (especially with regard to relationships) manifestly that's a really stupid mantra to use for important life decisions.

@icecreamgirl94

I posted just last week asking for advice regarding my pregnant sister temporarily staying with me but not having room for her much longer as I’m also expecting (more to it than that but won’t go into it all here). I was told by one poster to step up and buy a bigger house with room for all of us I also notice so much man hating which definitely isn’t always justified, far from it in some cases. I vaguely know a girl who used to have a MN account (friend of a friend of a friend sort of thing) and she posted fairly regularly as she had quite a lot of drama going on. Anyway one day she was absolutely crucified in a thread she posted (don’t know what it was about) and was accused of being a troll and had her account removed. She was genuine but she tried everything and couldn’t get her account back for some reason. Since then she’s in a far worse place and still talks about being thrown of MN apparently. I’m sure there were reasons but she has no idea what they were.

@icecreamgirl94 I read that thread! I didn't post on it as I couldn't think of what to write and it became a bit of a bun fight about teenage pregnancy. I really do hope you can all work it out though. Best of luck to your sister and you. She's due really soon isn't she? Oh a tiny new baby.

Right. Deep breath and hard hat.

ANYTHING to do with infidelity always gets really emotive responses. I've just finished a book by Ester Perel (mating in captivity) and I agree with her in that we have no tolerance for infidelity but we do for divorce (as a society). She's right. Cheating happens. People cheat. It's awful and horrible but it happens. As sure as we have night and day. There is rarely any good advice about being cheated on (always sign up to chump lady and LTB) or being involved in an affair.

There is never any discussion about affairs on here that doesn't turn nasty.

A few years ago a woman did an AMA about staying with her husband after he cheated. People were so fucking rude to her. Name calling, telling her she was deluded etc.

I think there are FAR worse things in life but on here there is rarely any kind of discussion. We know it goes on, so why can't it be talked about?

Oh and advice in dog house and anything to do with strip clubs. Always so polarised.

I don't know what would be worse actually - having an affair, breeding a cockerpoo or watching porn.

MNHQ did a video on how to make jam in the microwave. I followed the instructions and upon opening the microwave, instead of finding a dish of yummy strawberry jam, the contents appear to have exploded and the entire inside of the microwave was coated with congealed jam. It took me 100 times longer than it would have taken to make jam in the normal method. Never trusted an MNHQ recipe since.

You have to take relationship advice with a pinch of salt really. Especially the "my DH would go to the ends of the earth for me, you deserve that too , types. Anyone I know who says that stuff in real life has a terrible relationship where the men have affairs and never want to spend any time with them. Yet they seem to get off on telling everyone else they should have a wonderful love life like them. Same in Mumsnet

I don't know what would be worse actually - having an affair, breeding a cockerpoo or watching porn.

@RedWhineandgo 😂😂😂

It's not even about advice, but the predictable bonkersness never fails to disappoint.

Mention DH bought flowers.
Get a divorce lawyer immediately, he's obviously CHEATING!

It's the Double standards that annoy me a few years ago I was reading a thread about a single Dad his ex had moved away and was not making an effort with the kids and kept making excuses why she couldn't visit the ,no money etc ,he was advised to do everything in his power to make sure the kids had a relationship with their mum even giving her money so she could visit
A couple of weeks later I read almost exactly the same thread only this time it was a single mum where the dad had moved away and wasent making an effort ,of course this time the advice was the Dad was a waste of space etc and if he couldn't make the effort ,then he didn't deserve a relationship with his kids .

@Iknowwhatudidlastsummer

I do laugh at the strong reactions against obvious and pretty simple questions.

The best ones are the horror when faced with the suggestion of buying waterproof clothes

What else do you want people to say? Yes, it's raining. Yes It will rain again. So either you get wet, or you move in a sunnier country, or you buy a waterproof.

Oh god, waterproof clothes! I have no idea why that sets people off. Don’t you know that poor people can’t afford waterproof clothes?

Even when I linked to nice, waterproof secondhand coats on eBay for the princely sum of £3, I had posters piling in saying £3 was extortion, what working family could afford to spend £3 on a winter coat for their child. What unimaginable privilege to be able to afford to spend £3 on your child’s winter coat! There’s no way you could save up over the course of the year, or ask a grandparent to buy it as a gift.

Honestly, if you are so poor that £3 for a predictable annual expenditure like a winter coat tips you over the edge, you probably don’t have enough credit on your phone to be posting on MN.

I posted in tears over a situation I was in. And the first poster basically told me that she'd never get into that situation in the first place. I replied that she was unhelpful and why did she bother replying if she didn't have anything helpful to say and I got utterly flamed. I was 'rude' apparently,
nope you had nothing remotely helpful to say and I called you out then you played the victim. 'Tufty was so rude to me, I was trying to help'. Actually you weren't, you gave nothing helpful or constructive in any way at all and I gave you that reply with both barrels as I was feeling shit and you made me feel even worse if that was possible.

Wish you could block others users.