What's the worst advice you've had from MN?

[Dinkydonkytonk]

I have personally received some good advice from this site, however with all the LTB! and other extreme reactions I want to know if anyone has had some truly awful advice from MN?
Or did you follow advice but it turned out to be the wrong decision?
Or did you really LTB but regretted it?

@MrsPinkCock

The “legal advice” posted by people who have no idea what they’re talking about, often backed up by another ten posters who also haven’t got a clue what the law actually says. As a lawyer those threads drive me nuts!

I also find it utterly bizarre that so many posters enjoy drafting unsolicited emails or text messages for the OP to use that nobody in their right mind would ever send to another person

This...I’m also a lawyer and also want to pull my hair out at some of the ‘advice’ that gets given!

Not me, but people in financial crisis are always told to take in ironing or take up dog walking as if that's a practical and realistic prospect for every poor person in the world to start a business with fuck all and build it up within a couple of days.

Not so much advice, but a poster recommended a product she had used to cover her "roots" during the first lockdown posting a photo showing how pleased she was with her transformed hair, So to brighten up my dull roots I ordered some online and excitedly applied when I received it.
Well I now know how Donald Trump maintains the colour and the seeming immovability of his hair. I had bright yellow completely stiff hair that made my DIL laugh so much she had a stitch,
I washed it out and binned it!

@Pootle40

Bread and milk were not emergencies in lockdown

I was one of the people that was told that.

I think I was told to eat cereal for breakfast instead. A) I had no milk (or yogurt for that matter) and B) I don't eat cereal so I'd have to have gone to the shops to buy some

There are always posters who say book a free half hour with a solicitor for advice - it doesn't work like that.

Oh and the nasty neighbours on here - is it really worth winding them up by doing all the silly things suggested, in order to antagonise them even more, because they've had the audacity to complain about you?

The most sanctimonious are the replies to new mums. One recently was from a woman who had a 10 month old and was feeling down because she was finding it hard to get the baby to settle, and was missing time in the evenings with her husband.

The replies were almost all of the 'that's kids I'm afraid, I've three teenagers and haven't seen my husband since 1997' and people who claim to still lie down to get their teenager off to sleep.

I mean, that's fucking mental. No, you do not have to give up your life when you become a parent. It's a brilliant thing to give your kids the ability to go to sleep in their own bed, independent, but knowing they're loved and safe.

I didn’t ask for advice about this, but a poster encouraged me to leave my partner because he asked me to iron our new duvet cover.

Eh, I wish someone had told me it was ok to go NC with my family. I might have done it a lot sooner and so started healing sooner. I actually find that people (everywhere not just MN ) expect you to stay in contact with your family however vile they are

The advice over properties selling or buying are something else too.

No one knows
-the property
-the location
-the local market

or any element that are pretty crucial. But no, the poster will have very strong and precise advice on how to price it, what to offer, what to accept.

Because we all know it's exactly to same to buy a place in Central London, Beadnell or Eccleston!

Medical advice?

Just remember the poster who followed "advice" about her DH's earache and came back puzzled the poor man was in so much pain he was crying.

So not logging anything and everything with 101
but do call 111 for medical help!

I've only ever had good advice on here, but then I tend to stick to the specialist boards if I am asking specific questions. On the main or busier boards like chat, AIBU or relationships I think a lot of people treat it as either a bit of fun, a place to vent or project their own issues or a real-life soap opera, and that's why you get a lot of the extreme 'LTB', 'go no contact', 'I'd punch him in the face then take a dump on him' type advice - people would probably give more nuanced answers in real life and/or they don't expect to be taken seriously!

I think it's fine if you can sift through to find the really good advice amongst the cr*p plus also you avoid that situation which frankly makes me uncomfortable on the more 'dramatic' threads, where posters can get quite angsty and snarky if the OP isn't seen to be immediately acting upon their advice, so where an OP may have had their eyes suddenly opened to their DH/DP/MIL/BF's abuse/cheating/narcissism, the entire thread seems to want them to completely turn their life on its head, pack their bags right now, right this instant (and they want immediate, frequent, detailed updates on it too of course!) and start posting 'aren't you listening OP ' type posts, regardless of whether the OP is actually safe to leave right now, do they have anywhere to go, have they properly considered and thought through this life changing decision they are making etc. That type of thread also just encourages trolls who can post a nice juicy dramatic situation that they know will 'hook' people followed by nicely staged updates with a a whole heap of posters hanging on their every word as well of course (which isn't necessarily a desirable thing), but I do worry for the times when it may actually be a real person at the other end of the post about to put themselves in real danger on the say-so of some bossy MNetters, in the worst case...

This is the last place I would ever ask for serious advice. The so called advice is mainly bullshit and irrational. I won't even post my own thread after being horribly jumped on in the past for perfectly normal things. There are some really nasty people on here who I reckon are here purely to virtually kick others. I don't know anyone is RL who would speak to others as posters on here do.

The change the lock brigade irritate me. No you cannot just kick someone out who has a legal right to be there.

Also the constant logging with 101. Fgs I bet they now ask 'did MN advise you to call and log this? Yes? Goodbye then' 😆

@SimonJT

I didn’t ask for advice about this, but a poster encouraged me to leave my partner because he asked me to iron our new duvet cover.

😆😆 oh dear!

Mine asks me to make him tea. I should probably leave him too.

@Iknowwhatudidlastsummer

The advice over properties selling or buying are something else too.

No one knows
-the property
-the location
-the local market

or any element that are pretty crucial. But no, the poster will have very strong and precise advice on how to price it, what to offer, what to accept.

Because we all know it's exactly to same to buy a place in Central London, Beadnell or Eccleston!

Ah yes. I made the mistake of asking for advice on this. I did put photos. Apparently everything was wrong with my (perfectly fine) house. I needed the outside rendered, new kitchen (it was), new bathroom, all completely redecorated (it was), furniture literally being got rid of so no where to sit etc. Explained repeatedly it was a shared ownership so i'd make a loss if I spent any more money on it.

I took a couple of sensible pieces of advice to move a couple of things and it sold to the first viewer. No rendering/decorating/building work required.

Never again!

@PegasusReturns I may have been one of the posters advising you to take the more straightforward job. It just shows that what is right for one person is wrong for another .

I also think that there are a lot of people too quick to cut off friends and family members over misunderstandings and minor disagreements . In fact even if it's a major disagreement , as long as a person isn't actually abusive, it's possible to accept that you have different views on certain topics but still get on with that person .

[quote shinynewapple2021]@PegasusReturns I may have been one of the posters advising you to take the more straightforward job. It just shows that what is right for one person is wrong for another .

I also think that there are a lot of people too quick to cut off friends and family members over misunderstandings and minor disagreements . In fact even if it's a major disagreement , as long as a person isn't actually abusive, it's possible to accept that you have different views on certain topics but still get on with that person . [/quote]
Ah yes shiny, but a calm, considered decision to 'agree to disagree' with your SIL about Brexit doesn't make for a very fun thread now does it? Whereas if you spit in her face, send a series of texts drafted by the thread in which you call her a fascist, a nazi and a disgrace to humanity, then go NC (with her and all your other ILs to be safe) is nice juicy reading, you could probably keep that one going for 30+ pages, maybe even make classics

Show him/her this thread.

Yes do that! They’ll be over the moon that you are telling strangers, even anonymously, about your private life together.

I posted just last week asking for advice regarding my pregnant sister temporarily staying with me but not having room for her much longer as I’m also expecting (more to it than that but won’t go into it all here). I was told by one poster to step up and buy a bigger house with room for all of us
I also notice so much man hating which definitely isn’t always justified, far from it in some cases.
I vaguely know a girl who used to have a MN account (friend of a friend of a friend sort of thing) and she posted fairly regularly as she had quite a lot of drama going on. Anyway one day she was absolutely crucified in a thread she posted (don’t know what it was about) and was accused of being a troll and had her account removed. She was genuine but she tried everything and couldn’t get her account back for some reason. Since then she’s in a far worse place and still talks about being thrown of MN apparently. I’m sure there were reasons but she has no idea what they were.

Being told by the "mother of a hospital doctor" that I should not attend A&E (I'd not asked for advice on this, more if they'd keep me in) as it was absolutely not an emergency and I'd be a drain on resources.
I did go and it certainly was an emergency
When corrected the poster never replied back.

@PegasusReturns I find Mumsnet is generally quite risk averse, I found similar with housing, advice can be quite black and white, users saying stay by family, location is everything etc etc, but that wasn't where the opportunity was. I took the risk and it's paid off massively, I could say similar about work actually, when I asked about going full time everyone says "oh but part time is best of both" if I'd done that I would not be in the position I'm in now I know it.

I'm just happy to take a risk in the hope for better I think, but you don't often find that on here. As such I often find myself going against the grain.

I always think it odd when a poster discusses childcare arrangements and that a relative helps out . A lot of posters tell her to find alternative childcare and should never ask a relative for help.
I find this odd because in my experience me included always have a relative to help out with childcare but on mumsnet it’s a complete no no .

@flowers08

yes, I was told to turn a blind eye and that it was nothing to do with me when I thought my friends children were being neglected due to her spending money on cigarettes and drink.

lots of mind your own business, it's up to her if she smokes, i'm sure she still provides for her kids, we all have our vices, that I wasn't a good friend and had posted online for people to slag her off, all of this kind of stuff.

Her kids are now in the care of their grandparents thankfully, I won't go into detail about what was the final shove in that situation but it was far worse than I realised.

"Mind your own business" posts are the worst. That's how neglected and abused children die! I'm glad the children in question are now safe.

Also the threads about medical symptoms are the worst, where people advise the OP not to bother going to hospital despite other posters who have experienced the same thing telling them to go (a recent ectopic pregnancy I think and possible a septicaemia one?). The possible consequences could be awful.