I want to be the thread police and give a virtual tazering to posters who…

[CandidaAlbicans2]

• Post non-AIBU stuff in AIBU rather than the relevant section, usually Chat. No point having sections if people keep posting in AIBU as default and effectively turning it into another Chat.
• Ask questions that are clearly answered in the OP’s first post (that appear on the top of each page!)
• Say “if that’s all you have to worry about…” etc
• Nit pick over irrelevant details rather than give any constructive help
• Resurrect zombie posts from years ago, especially time-sensitive ones, eg baby issue ones where the baby is now 10!

Yes I’m bored. Yes I have more important things to do and to worry about. Yes I know I’m being an awful pedant and should get a life/scroll on if I don’t like it/whatever. Yes, I’d love a zap button 😈

Would it be weird if we all started going around and threads and adding 👮‍♀️⚡ to posts? 😆 Would probably confuse the hell out of a lot of people.

I read a thread in legal recently that made me want to 👮‍♀️⚡👮‍♀️⚡👮‍♀️👮‍♀️⚡👮‍♀️⚡👮‍♀️⚡👮‍♀️⚡⚡👮‍♀️⚡👮‍♀️⚡👮‍♀️⚡⚡👮‍♀️⚡. Poster wanted advice on how to manage something in a legal manner. Was repeatedly told not to do the thing that would mean they needed the legal thing in the first place. She never asked if she should or not!! Mind your own feckin' businesses!!! Some posters seem to think they have the right to tell others what not to do, then all a thread becomes is everyone else piling along to also tell some stranger how to live their life.

There is no way in RL anyone would let me have a taser 😩.

People who quote an ENTIRE long post just to say at the bottom:

This

Just quote a relevant section and either expand on it or disagree with it!

Bonus points if it's not quoted clearly so it looks like plain text and you end up scrolling past the same long bloody post multiple times.

I'd like to tazer people who go on about nye being overrated and hyped up, how they couldn't possibly stay up past 10pm, yadda yadda. It's so irritating, don't think I heve ever seen anyone hyping it up.

Also people who instead of linking to tedious opinion pieces or news articles, copy and, paste

People who link to dodgy websites.
People who refer to their DH as the arbiter of all professional knowledge and opinion.

'You don't seem to like her much'.
Said in response to someone having a justifiable moan about a friend.

This really gets on my nerves!

Posters who say, “Have they been tested for Prader Willi?” whenever someone worries about their overweight DC who is motivated by food.

FFS.

Prader Willi isn’t something that takes you by surprise when your DC is 11 years and likes to eat. It’s a genetic disorder characterised by particular facial features, short stature, developmental delay, low tone.

somewhat paradoxically, they are also very floppy neonates who usually need nasogastric feeding. It’s a syndrome that you know about very early on, not that presents for the first time because they are chubby and like to eat cake.

Posters who pile on to convince an OP that a date has gone well/she should text him and ask for another date/he is just shy when it is very clear the chap is just not interested. Some of those get quite painful.

Bonus tasering for those who tell off anyone on the thread who points out that maybe OP should think of looking elsewhere for romance.

I was going to say MN Top Trumps, but actually it's kind of fun.

How much do you spend on Christmas presents?

I spend 10,000 pounds per child.
I spend 17p per child.

The current thread about rattan garden furniture is classic.

I have a huge plastic rattan suite, a blow-up hot tub and fairy lights.
I have wildlife pond, rocks from a beach and some old logs.

Everyone has to take things to such extremes.

Would it be weird if we all started going around and threads and adding 👮‍♀️⚡ to posts? 😆 Would probably confuse the hell out of a lot of people

It would, but it would be worth it for the amount of biscuits we’d have lobbed at us in return 😆😈 I'll give it a go 😏

@CandidaAlbicans2

Is there a prize for guessing the exact amount of tasers and reciprocal biscuits which appear on threads in active today?

I do like a reciprocal biscuit with my afternoon tea. I expect Waitrose probably sell them.

FFS, out of 50 AIBU threads, at least 15 are obviously not AIBUs. 🙄 MNHQ are going to get very bored of me reporting these all the time (if they're not already 😟) but it really irritates me. Chat is busy so no need to post in AIBU "for traffic". Grrrrr! 😡👮⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡

@SparkysMagicPiano, I used the taser on one thread but not been fed yet 😈😆. I'm hoping for those nice plain chocolate covered ginger ones Sainsbury's do 😉

YABU I prefer a Tesco Finest plain chocolate ginger 😂

Please don’t tase me 🥺 Did anyone question the tasing, did you explain it?

@CandidaAlbicans2 I reported one yesterday! I became enraged when the first line acknowledged it wasn't an AIBU and was posting for traffic! Thank god I'm not the only one reporting! If we report MNHQ might get a grip and sort it out. I mean if I went on the infertility boards post a question about "what colour shoes go with this dress?" My post would be reported and moved to the style and beauty boards. An extreme example but my point being, if they are not AIBU posts then get them reported and moved! Let's clean this AIBU town up!!

.. think they know more about me and my family/life than I do just from the few things I post on here. I hate that. You'll explain a situation and they have to contradict it, like they were the ones present and not me!

Love the taser police!
Most of mine have been posted, but one bugbear is people quoting the Daily Mail and apologising for it. If you despise people who read the DM why do you not only read it but publicise their articles?

You know what gets on my tits?

You get a poster who is self-conscious about her skin. She asks for make-up recommendations. In some cases, she's even wearing foundation to bed in front of her new partner.
Anyway, you'll get posters who come on to say that they never wear make-up, and actually their partner prefer them without it.
Well, take a bow, you smug bitch! 🥊

I reported one yesterday! I became enraged when the first line acknowledged it wasn't an AIBU and was posting for traffic! Thank god I'm not the only one reporting!

Glad I’m not the only one either, @mekitgubakuds. With any luck the more who do it’ll make a difference and MN might start reminding people. But I’m not hopeful as I’ve just received this from MNHQ, after saying the non-AIBU threads in AIBU effectively turn it into another Chat section:

”Thanks for your reports. We're afraid we don't tend to move threads unless we're requested to by the OP - but we do appreciate where you're coming from here.”

So why bother having sections then!? Just lump everything in together and be done with it 🙄😡⚡⚡⚡

Can I be a double taser toting police?

Especially to all that shoehorn Naice into any sentence, and head tilts with tinkly laughs are fair game to be aimed at.

I think I need another coffee to calm down 😳

one bugbear is people quoting the Daily Mail and apologising for it. If you despise people who read the DM why do you not only read it but publicise their articles?

Oh yes, that’s irritating. Why can’t they just copy/paste the text so people can read the story without accessing that shitty site.

MN won't move threads so I don't bother reporting. I've done my first 'TINAAQ and zap' today. Looking forward to more.

@tocketytickety I've just thrown my support behind you!

@mekitgubakuds I see you partner! We're out on patrol 🚓 👮‍♀️👮‍♀️🚨

I've just reported a thread and also posted on it that I've asked for it to be moved to an appropriate topic area, only for the op to tell me they don't want it moving because they've posted in AIBU for traffic. FFS 🤦‍♀️

Where do you get the lightning bolts and police?
I want them too
Major irritant is the bloody trans-debate that takes over every second thread, even in Food/Recipes.
There should be a board for them to fight it out and save the rest of us having to scroll and scroll and flounce eventually as threads just disappear into the haze of pro/anti eejits.

@praecantator in your usual text emojis on your phone - not on MN itself 👍