I want to be the thread police and give a virtual tazering to posters who…

[CandidaAlbicans2]

• Post non-AIBU stuff in AIBU rather than the relevant section, usually Chat. No point having sections if people keep posting in AIBU as default and effectively turning it into another Chat.
• Ask questions that are clearly answered in the OP’s first post (that appear on the top of each page!)
• Say “if that’s all you have to worry about…” etc
• Nit pick over irrelevant details rather than give any constructive help
• Resurrect zombie posts from years ago, especially time-sensitive ones, eg baby issue ones where the baby is now 10!

Yes I’m bored. Yes I have more important things to do and to worry about. Yes I know I’m being an awful pedant and should get a life/scroll on if I don’t like it/whatever. Yes, I’d love a zap button 😈

I love this thread but - while I see where their detractors are coming from - I would just like to mount a defence for the people who attribute an inability to grasp seemingly basic skills like using cutlery properly to someone possibly having additional needs. DD2 is autistic and some of the signs were so subtle it took ages for anyone else to take us seriously until she pretty much burnt out from masking. Lots of the ‘maybe they have additional needs’ comments over the years helped give me reassurance/pointers for pursuing a diagnosis. Whereas the posts debunking the additional needs theories made me feel incompetent/shit, which was hard to deal with on top of not quite understanding what was going on with DD...

The only one I’d like to go to war on is AIBU used as a chat. Posting here for traffic - chat has traffic! Stop the nonsense. Maybe we should report?

I want to taser people (and I will when mine arrives), who begin posts with “please”.

Whatever happens in the scenario described in the thread pans out it will have zero impact on the poster.

Please call the RSPCA.
Please stop packing your bag at the till in Aldi.
Please call 101.

ZZZZZAAAAPPP!

Polyxena ah, boring. More moderation needed here! That'll learn them.

@devildeepbluesea we could be the Cagney and Lacey of the MN Tazer Police Force!!! I'm a bit soft and Mumsy so could step aside and let you be the cooler Cagney?

Please MN, let us have our own Tazer emoji - you need us to suppress all the irritating bastards who ruin what could otherwise be a fairly decent forum.

Hi @GwendolineWindowlene If I can get hold of some virtual tazers I'll pm yours pronto.

I'm now being given shit for pointing out on AIBU threads that they've posted in the wrong section. Apparently replying YABU and pointing out they're not actually asking an AIBU means I'm a bitch. Whatever!!

😂😂😂 you're on!!

I've just remembered what pisses me off the most. Post like this:

"I'm 8 stone and 5ft 7 and I just can't get to my happy weight of 7.5 stone. I run 10 miles a day and only eat carrots - any advice?"

Now this is irritating, but nothing compared to the numerous replies suggesting she weigh her carrots or strap a fridge freezer to her back to run. WTAF? They should be tapered for supporting blatant stealth boasts that make fat lasses like me feel fatter.

@mekitgubakuds what you need is a MN Tazer. No one would question your authority, your decision would be final.

I'd be far to trigger happy being let loose with a tazer!!

Could I request an extra-jolty tasering of numpties who post most idiotic threads on mundane, vulgar issues a toddler would be able to handle.

TINAA (This Is Not An AIBU)
TINAAQ (This Is Not An AIBU Question)
TINAAT (This Is Not An AIBU Thread).
WYA? (What's Your AIBU?)

Could we post any of these on these threads that are clearly not an AIBU? - Looking at those covid and relationships threads I hid the topics for a reason.

So:
New Thread: Posting for traffic....
Me : YABU - TINAAT.

Or:
New Thread: So....blah blah ( clearly no Aibu)
Me: WYA?

Would also use the lightening bolt as makeshift tazer.

TINAA ⚡

Someone has just posted a thread on AIBU asking if they are the only one who never bought a mask as she? gets them free at work.
Why is it in AIBU? Why is it a thread anywhere?
Angry.

Can I tazer the ones who love the drama but pretend that they're being caring. "Keep us updated OP, I'm worried." Nope you just want the gossip.

@praecantator that one annoyed me too, it was written like that to be goady. It's the same as me saying I've never bought a mask because DH bought mine for me.

AIBU being used for random stuff needs a tazer.

I can't get past the not reading the thread and sailing in on page 20 with a contribution that is completely banal and already posted 10 times by others, or irrelevant to the issue as it unfolds. Or both.

I can't bear it when people don't read the thread and swoop in on page 15 with something that's been posted 30 times already

:o

Quilty of sailing through threads .
Have no bloody patience and unless the first page or so contains pearls, as in witty/funny/wise posts, shall trundle to the last page and post my 2c worth. Often banal utterings that have been repeated zillion times upthread.
I must be punished .

Ah, you lovely lot, I honestly thought I’d get roasted so posted and hid for a day! 😆 But no, I have now got a MN Police Tazering Unit! 😎😁

I like the lightening bolt and police woman symbols
Me too. Going to start using those 🚔👮📢⚡

Perhaps step away and take up knitting
You seem to have a problem with virtually everything on mumsnet. leave this forum and do meditations
😆 ‘Ave it with your meditative knitting! ⚡⚡

I'd be rubbish on the taser force, I'd end up tazing everyone (possibly including myself ) on a bad day
Oh yes, I’d be “shut up Candida, you twat” whilst tazering myself

LTB
Log with 101
Report the buggers to someone somewhere
Aibu to report the person not wearing a mask on a number 25 bus week before last to the virus police
Did you mean to be quite so fuckin rude

Yep

Can I taser those that post in AIBU who are clearly BU but won’t accept it?