I want to be the thread police and give a virtual tazering to posters who…

[CandidaAlbicans2]

• Post non-AIBU stuff in AIBU rather than the relevant section, usually Chat. No point having sections if people keep posting in AIBU as default and effectively turning it into another Chat.
• Ask questions that are clearly answered in the OP’s first post (that appear on the top of each page!)
• Say “if that’s all you have to worry about…” etc
• Nit pick over irrelevant details rather than give any constructive help
• Resurrect zombie posts from years ago, especially time-sensitive ones, eg baby issue ones where the baby is now 10!

Yes I’m bored. Yes I have more important things to do and to worry about. Yes I know I’m being an awful pedant and should get a life/scroll on if I don’t like it/whatever. Yes, I’d love a zap button 😈

Can those of us who spell taser correctly please taser those who can't?

@GwendolineWindowlene
I'll stand still and accept the bolt! The ridiculous thing is autocorrect changed it to taser and I changed it back to tazer!

@mekitgubakuds, you will need to join the queue with several others from this thread.

I'd Taser anyone who refers to a poster as 'vile' when they mean 'I disagree with you'.

And YY to the posts that start 'Please....'

And the 'You should report that!'- To whom? To what effect?

And, controversially, and yes, already mentioned, when poor or bad behaviour cannot be ascribed to twattery but must always be the result of SN. And you're vile for imagining otherwise.

I want a Taser.

Amen to all above!
Quilty in dithering with taser/tazer. I am clearly a sheeple as started off with natural taser but in subsequent musings, went with the majority and tazered away.
Gullible, moi.
I need a good tasering

@Beyondfedupnow

I wish the feminism board was friendlier to women like me who want to learn more about feminism without having my head bitten off. I now avoid the board and I can’t be the only one. It’s a shame.

Yes, same here. It's very:

You should think like this
We all think like this
You sound like a LIBFEM! (nothing worse that that, apparently)
There is no room for dissent here!!
It's a bit of an echo chamber

Goodness! I used 'tazer' (Saw it everywhere and didn't think. My phone would have changed it but computer doesn't). That's me tasered then.⚡👮‍♀️

Also guess my TINAA/TINAAT/TINAAQ/WYA suggestion is rubbish then since no one's mentioned it. Another taser for me just for failing the unit.⚡⚡👮‍♀️

Back to the drawing board.

Oh my word - aye - the nitpicking.

I once started d a thread in chat asking for any advice or prior experience in getting ds to do Y. I said I know X is best but ds cannot so X and finding Y difficult but could manage it if I could make it easier.

Cue 200 posts telling me "we'll get ds to do X" "he's too old to do Y"

Then me saying thanks for helpful advice, some really good advice to try to achieve Y and reiterating X wasn't an option for my ds as he couldn't do it.

Another 100 posts mostly saying how bad a parent I am because I won't try and get ds to do x.

I then add how people seem determined to judge me and I just wanted support to help make Y easier. To reiterate X won't work for ds and I appreciate all the suggestions to make him (albeit no actual suggestions how I could support him to achieve X) but he has a physical disability that prevents it.

Then I had some really horrid replies about it being a drip feed and how I should have made it clear why ds couldn't do X.

One poster saved me from feeling awful when they pointed out that it wasn't me (I'd repeatedly said he couldn't do it) and the posters transferring there guilt from accusing me of bad parenting because of assumptions they made.

I'd have happily tasered all but the 20 odd really helpful posters on that thread.

Hmm yes. I wrote taser first then changed it out of respect for the OP because ....
Oops there goes my ⚡⚡⚡

@GwendolineWindowlene

Can those of us who spell taser correctly please taser those who can't?

Ooops, I fear I've led people astray with the incorrect spelling 😬 OK, I accept my tasering. Actually, sod that [runs and hides in another section of MN]...

Maybe we should compromise with "stun-gun" then, although there is the risk of that getting confused with "bum gun" from another thread today.

What about blow-darts. Silent and deadly if so required but could be toned down, of course, to simply stun
Look bloody cool as well. I'm a blow-dart master, me. Polishes .

⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️👮

Consider yourselves tased.

What about virtual CS gas? Is CS gas still used?

Is CS gas still used?

Don't be silly - that'll set off all the crying and shaking lot.

OP "What do you recommend for this?"

Someone responds:

"I'd recommend a "

Someone further down the thread comments:

"@Someone, what's a "

IS YOUR GOOGLE REALLY SO SLOW YOU'D RATHER WAIT 20 MINUTES FOR SOMEONE TO COME BACK AND EXPLAIN THEIR POST TO YOU?

Holy cats I'm furious just thinking about it.

letmegooglethat.com/

People who say - "others will be along in a bit to tell you insert advice here but they're all stupid and wrong and the only poster you should pay attention to is meeeee"

Yes, I agree, you can police places like legal for starters. I put up a legal question which was very precise and all I needed was a straight answer. Instead I got a load of shite about the relationships behind the question. I told them to feck off as their opinion was useless and unasked for.

I also get pissed with Brexit questions and Coronavirus question in AIBU. Asking 'just for traffic' isn't an excuse.

'I've just shown this thread to DH and his opinion is that you should...'

WHO. CARES?!

People who say 'just that really' after their OP. ZAP! People talking about buying things and writing 'brought'. Zap! Zap!

People who post as if they are perfect: never said a bad word, never shouted at their children, never lost their temper, never been jealous etc.

Self delusion is all on here.

In fact I have been reminded of a saying by my ex MIL, "People who think their shit doesn't stink."

There are a lot of those posters.

Two posters who get into an argument during which they refute each other’s posts point by point, at length, long after the poor OP has given up expecting to get any help and left the thread.

Posters who DARE to have a life and leave threads hanging - just a small update surely for those nosey people like me who have bothered to give you input

And this may get me zapped but those who seem shocked that they are identified in real life (because they put too much info in their posts 🙄) and get it deleted leaves me shaking with rage so it does