Do you think people can just disappear?

[louise4745]

Lots of missing cases with no explanation.

Aliens?
Assassinations?
Government coverups?
People needed for testing?

Very weird.

@JamieFrasersSassenach

Have you read Outlander by Diana Gabaldon?? You should!

This is the opening of the book:

"People disappear all the time. Ask any policeman. Better yet, ask a journalist. Disappearances are bread and butter to journalists. Young girls run away from home. Young children stray from their parents and are never seen again. Housewives reach the end of their tether and take the grocery money and a taxi to the station. International financiers change their names and vanish into the smoke of imported cigars. Many of the lost will be found, eventually, dead or alive. Disappearances, after all, have explanations. Usually."

amzn.eu/47UwXjK

I think it was a lot easier in the past. With all our tracking, id and online interactions, it is really really hard to disappear now unless you really work at it. But I still secretly love the idea that I could, one day, just disappear myself and have a lovely second life somewhere else completely!

Is it a full moon tonight or are mumsnetters just really bored?? Can't we have a conspiracy board for all the crazies to be together??

Discussing missing person cases makes people become "crazies"

My friends mother disappeared when she was 7ish. It played on her mind throughout primary school. She would always talk about where she had gone and what she was doing. She wondered if she would return home one day. I remember feeling so sorry for her. Imagine not knowing why your mum left or even saying goodbye. She left 3 children. They ended up moving Into their grandmas because the dad worked away.

@Completelyfrozen

I was thinking about this the other day and I thought how awful it would be if you went through a time warp, like a worm hole, and when you realised what had happened and tried to get back to 2021, you couldnt. Everyone who knew you here just put you down as a missing person but you werent missing, just lost in time. How horrific!

This is the plot of Netflix's "Dark"!!!!

My friends mother disappeared when she was 7ish. It played on her mind throughout primary school. She would always talk about where she had gone and what she was doing. She wondered if she would return home one day. I remember feeling so sorry for her. Imagine not knowing why your mum left or even saying goodbye. She left 3 children. They ended up moving Into their grandmas because the dad worked away.

That’s so sad.

I knew a boy whose dad wasn’t involved and one day the mum ran away they found a note after school.

There was 3 of them, two in secondary school and one in college and they didn’t tell anyone for years and the older brother would work to look after them - I don’t know how the schools didn’t pick up on it.

What’s really sad is they’re still all messed up now - homelessness, alcohol issues, no jobs/qualifications etc

I think the mum got back in contact like 15 years later but said she was sorry for leaving but she wasn’t coming back

This is the plot of Netflix's "Dark"!!!!

Ooh this sounds good!

There’s a really great book by Nicci Gerrard called ‘Missing Persons’ which is about exactly this - it follows the various members of a family where the son just disappears during his first term at uni.

@toocold54

This is the plot of Netflix's "Dark"!!!!

Ooh this sounds good!

It's brilliant- I ended up watching series 1 twice to understand it fully, series 2 added more confusion then series 3 was WTF at times! Definitely recommend it.

@TheVolturi

I have always thought that unless you are killed and disposed of, then disappearing must be quite difficult? How would you start afresh somewhere, without identification, documents, money, bank account etc? Unless you'd saved lots up and previously got hold of a new identity.

Why would you need documents, identity etc etc? You can just be yourself somewhere else. I guess most disappeared people are only ‘disappeared’ to their immediate family. Probably inland revenue knows where they are!

@toocold54

My friends mother disappeared when she was 7ish. It played on her mind throughout primary school. She would always talk about where she had gone and what she was doing. She wondered if she would return home one day. I remember feeling so sorry for her. Imagine not knowing why your mum left or even saying goodbye. She left 3 children. They ended up moving Into their grandmas because the dad worked away.

That’s so sad.

I knew a boy whose dad wasn’t involved and one day the mum ran away they found a note after school.

There was 3 of them, two in secondary school and one in college and they didn’t tell anyone for years and the older brother would work to look after them - I don’t know how the schools didn’t pick up on it.

What’s really sad is they’re still all messed up now - homelessness, alcohol issues, no jobs/qualifications etc

I think the mum got back in contact like 15 years later but said she was sorry for leaving but she wasn’t coming back

School pick up on what? None of the schools business

Rowenasemolina Fri 29-Jan-21 22:07:09
TheVolturi

I have always thought that unless you are killed and disposed of, then disappearing must be quite difficult? How would you start afresh somewhere, without identification, documents, money, bank account etc? Unless you'd saved lots up and previously got hold of a new identity.

Why would you need documents, identity etc etc? You can just be yourself somewhere else. I guess most disappeared people are only ‘disappeared’ to their immediate family. Probably inland revenue knows where they are!

Emmm - because it is really hard to function without a drivers licence, ID card, bank account, NHS number, NI number, etc etc etc. You cant just be yourself unfortunately, life just doesnt work that way now.

@Sarahandduck18

A relative of mine went missing in the 90s.

He either made a new life somewhere, killed himself, had an accident or was murdered.

It’s never crossed any of our minds that it could be something out of a science fiction novel.

I'm sorry.

Some people don't really think about the families when they post such nonsense.

I hope you get an answer one day.

Apologies to anyone for whom this is a reality in their family/life...

Sunset - why do you need new documents/ID/bank accounts?

Only the police/authorities are allowed to use them to track you down and if you just want to start a new life in a different part of the country, it's irrelevant that you're using your own ID. Your family or friends won't have access to the means of tracing you - only the authorities. And they wouldn't bother. You are allowed to move away and not tell anyone. Missing children are a different thing altogether.

over 250,000 people are reported missing each year in the UK, most return within a few days while some take a bit longer but 99% are accounted for . The remaining 1 percent are the mysterious ones and will be people who have died somewhere remote like the mountains or sea, some suicides and people who have been found but have told the authorities they don't wish to return to their previous life , The rest fall into the conspiracy theory options listed by OP.

Why would you need documents, identity etc etc? You can just be yourself somewhere else. I guess most disappeared people are only ‘disappeared’ to their immediate family. Probably inland revenue knows where they are!

If you’ve been reported as missing and the police are looking for you they would find you fairly quickly in that case.

And if they did bother looking for you, they don't have to tell family that they;ve found you. Nobody has the (legal) right to know where another adult is. Moral, maybe.

@RandomGrammarPun

Apologies to anyone for whom this is a reality in their family/life...

Sunset - why do you need new documents/ID/bank accounts?

Only the police/authorities are allowed to use them to track you down and if you just want to start a new life in a different part of the country, it's irrelevant that you're using your own ID. Your family or friends won't have access to the means of tracing you - only the authorities. And they wouldn't bother. You are allowed to move away and not tell anyone. Missing children are a different thing altogether.

Anyone who can hire a private detective can track you if you are listed anywhere. So, yes, family can track you. That is why DV or stalking victims have such a hard time.

What are you on about @sunsetSenora? You can keep your all your identity and documents. Just carry on being yourself in a different place, and don’t tell your family where you are.

Yes, life goes just work that way.

Probably best keep off Facebook, though, if you don’t want your family to find you.

No one else will cate. It’s no one else’s business , unless you are wanted for a crime or something.

I've been in the situation where I've needed to not be found (by abusive father).

You don't need to change identity, stop using bank cards, etc.

All you need to do is:

• Mark the option on the electoral role not to be shown in the public directory

• Stay off social media or use a different naming convention, strict privacy settings and no picture

Private investigators can't track you using bank cards or phone records. They don't have access to those things. Even the police have to get a warrant to access them.

Again, I say private investigator. If someone wants to find you, it is scarily easy. I knew someone who did this about estranged children who didnt want anything to do with him.

A lady in our village went missing 7 years ago. A friend as well as a neighbour. She left her house one evening and has never been seen since. She didn't take her bus pass or any money and no card has been used since. She must be dead but where is she? We live near old lead mines and the river was raging that night so I guess that's probably what happened but it's so sad that her family got no real answers

Dh worked with someone who had previously 'gone missing'. We were living abroad at the time and he said he'd left a wife and kids behind in the UK. To them he just disappeared. No idea if he felt any remorse at all. We certainly weren't privy to all the details of his former life and I doubt we even knew his original name.

@StanfordPines

Why would you need documents, identity etc etc? You can just be yourself somewhere else. I guess most disappeared people are only ‘disappeared’ to their immediate family. Probably inland revenue knows where they are!

If you’ve been reported as missing and the police are looking for you they would find you fairly quickly in that case.

The police are unlikely to look for you. If they look they are unlikely to find you. If they find you they won’t tell any of your family without your permission anyway

A certain number of ‘missing’ people are in witness protection

I think there are so many people who go missing forever it means there is a thing as the perfect murder and getting away with it.