Poor, poor woman

[Mookie81]

Complete lack of support and nowhere to turn.
A terrible deed but I feel so sorry for her.
And where the fuck was her ex? Living in Spain while she was driven to despair.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9186243/Olga-Freemans-friends-reveal-agony-trapped-flat-son-loved-dearly.html

@Thisisworsethananticpated

It sounds very much like it was carefully planned and not a moment of insanity

Let’s leave it to the professionals to assess that shall we ? Hung by the Daily Mail , jeez 🙄

Mentally ill people can plan things.

Being depressed/ psychotic doesn't mean that your IQ drops 50 points.

It means that you can't think rationally/ differentiate between fantasy and reality.

It is a tragedy. And certainly it's unacceptable to suggest disabled people have miserable lives and death is a release.

Perhaps you're right about the intentions behind the father's statement. In any case, no doubt more will come out later on regarding the amount of hands-on help he gave to the mother in caring for Dylan, and that will make his role in all of this clearer.

What an utterly heartbreaking tragedy.

@AmaryllisNightAndDay

people keep saying they feel sorry for the Mother and Dylan as though Dylan's death was an after thought

For most of us, feeling sorry for Dylan doesn't need emphasis because we take it for granted that we feel sorry for him and that everyone else feels sorry for him already. People are explcitly talking about feeling sorry for his mother because we can't take it for granted that other people will feel sorry for her.

Yes, this.

@Radio4Rocks I reported your post,and many others too

Im too close to this it just breaks my heart to think of that poor terrified child ,my son relays on me for everything ,I can't bear the horror he must of gone through.

@x2boys it’s awful

It is @5zeds 😢

Psychosis is a global mental and mood impairment that distorts judgement and decision making and individual feels compelled to behave and under take actions that are risky,ill judged out of character

For the individual experiencing the psychosis that is their absolute reality,it is their frame of reference guiding behaviour & decision making

Executive functioning like planning, yes it can remain partially/fully in tact but the energies are directed to the thoughts,compulsions that are psychotic in origins because for the individual at that point in illness the psychotic beliefs are real and compelling

As @mawbroon has said it’s really hard to convey the experience of psychosis and it’s overwhelming compelling nature if you’ve never seen it or experienced it. Psychosis really changes demeanour,mood,behaviour,beliefs it’s all encompassing

Increasingly courts and judges are sensitive to mental health and compassionate in sentencing

Was Dylan miserable and distressed all the time ,I know the article says he howled like an animal ,my son screams a lot ,most of the time it's a happy shout ,yes of course he gets distressed ,he non verbal so he gets upset when I don't understand what he wants ,but he is generally happy

I think there are things getting in the way of you being able to see that there are children who do spend long periods every day ‘howling like an animal’ (I don’t like that description of it though) and that what your little one does when distressed at not being understood could be very different.

Not that I blame you for not being able to accept that that is how things are for many on the spectrum and all the more so if you haven’t actually had the exposure to it either with a loved on or in the extended community.

I get that @Anne1958 ,my son is ten so I know things my change at adolescence ,but not every child with severe autism is unhappy and I'm hopeful my child will remain happy most of the time

@CaramelCandle

Probably in the minority but no. I feel sorry for that poor boy killed by the one person he should have been able to trust.

Two people.

Wait. No. His father had already baled.

[quote PlanDeRaccordement]@Arobase
Could say the same about you. And actually abuse is only a relevant fact in a case where the defender is charged with abuse. When charged with manslaughter or murder, it is the facts regarding the killing only that are relevant in a background of a case for murder/manslaughter prior to a guilty plea.

Im not assuming anything. You just seem to be wedded to your assumption that you’re going to extensive lengths to defend it. I still contend that there may or may not have been abuse.[/quote]
If "the same" is in relation to your lack of legal knowledge, no, you couldn't.

Of course abuse would be a relevant fact in a case of this nature. The suggestion that there could have been evidence of abuse but the prosecution decided to keep quiet when accepting a plea of guilty to manslaughter is just bizarre.

Was she denying the father access?
Was the father seeing the child or being held to ransom by a bitter ex wife?

Do we know?

I read this this morning and felt nothing but sympathy for her.

@Vinorosso74

Nobody knows how they would cope in that situation. It must have been horrendous and has she had the right support from the father and relevant people/services this likely wouldn't have happened. I do feel sorry for her as I don't imagine she ever set out to kill her own son who I'm sure she loved but sadly this was the only way she saw out. Tragic for both of them.

I know.

I really wouldn't have had half her strength, courage or patience.

I feel desperately sorry for her. And she and her son have been horrifically let down.

I never pronounced a diagnosis. I was merely restating what the actual psychiatric diagnosis was in the reports I read which was depression with psychotic symptoms and not Psychosis. And the fact the two are different according to the DSM and ICD 10.

Whilst ignoring the report that three psychiatric reports stated that, at the time of the relevant events Olga Freeman "was suffering from a severe depression and psychosis".

@x2boys

I get that *@Anne1958* ,my son is ten so I know things my change at adolescence ,but not every child with severe autism is unhappy and I'm hopeful my child will remain happy most of the time

I think there is a good chance of that. If he starts to go through a difficult spell though (and even neurotypical children do) we as a society need to ensure that the services are there to support him and you if they are needed. The only reason there is any recognition of the needs of children with severe autism, and support for them (not that there is enough) is because people, mostly parents, fought like hell for it. To see what support there is being withdrawn completely in some cases is disgraceful, and there needs to be as much noise made about that as possible. Dylan's death is an extreme case of what can happen when parents and children are left isolated with no support. Doubtless there are hidden cases right now where no-one has died but parents and their children are struggling and unhappy (I am glad that your child is not one of them). To point to this, and say it is wrong, is not to children with autism's lives in my opinion. In fact it is the opposite.

@MrsMercedes

Was she denying the father access? Was the father seeing the child or being held to ransom by a bitter ex wife?

Do we know?

Ahhh, those bitter ex wives forcibly deporting their former husbands to foreign countries.

but not every child with severe autism is unhappy

No one has said they are but there are quite a few posters who are judging other children by their own as well as judging another parent by how they themselves cope.

and I'm hopeful my child will remain happy most of the time

My son is currently going through a really good/happy/comfortable stage despite his autism/Tourette’s/epilepsy/and mental health problems but now that I’ve said it I’m going to spit over my shoulders because tomorrow is another day and things could change drastically for many months to come.

This little boy was let down by so many people - but so was his mother. People are told to reach out and ask for help if they aren't coping but when no help is given we wonder why they snap. Sleep deprivation can cause psychosis.

@zymummy

I cannot have sympathy. A pandemic has happened. You can't rely on schools and outside sources to give you respite of your children. My sister has autism and believe me it's caused hell on my family for over 15 years now but that's life, she can't be blamed for being born that way, and neither can he.

I'm sad for the boy.

Why not, given that there is an entire legal structure meant to ensure that severely disabled children receive full provision for their needs and that their carers also receive the help they need, including respite care? Although that structure was relaxed during the then lockdown, it wasn't taken away, and in particular vulnerable children were supposed to be in school.

No-one has for one second suggested that Dylan could be blamed. But does that mean we should ignore the wholesale way in which he and his mother were failed by those paid to support him?

@MrsMercedes

Was she denying the father access? Was the father seeing the child or being held to ransom by a bitter ex wife?

Do we know?

I believe he saw him in the holidays. He was a famous photographer who now lives in Spain

There is a special place in hell for that 'father'

@breatheO2NotCO2

Why couldn't she contact SS instead of taking her childs life away?

She had. They didn't help