Poor, poor woman

[Mookie81]

Complete lack of support and nowhere to turn.
A terrible deed but I feel so sorry for her.
And where the fuck was her ex? Living in Spain while she was driven to despair.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9186243/Olga-Freemans-friends-reveal-agony-trapped-flat-son-loved-dearly.html

You have no idea what you could cope with @Shetoshe and I bet you have no idea what your neighbors life was really like ,I have had times when I have been in tears because of my child's behaviour ,most families do when their child has severe disabilities ,other times he's utterly delightful and makes me laugh everyday .

I cannot believe how his dad is described in that article.... he loves his son but sold the family home, moved abroad, but he has a tattoo of his sons name so we know he was a good dad- what a joke x

Why couldn't she contact SS instead of taking her childs life away?

By feeling sorry for the mum it doesn’t mean we are taking her side over her child’s. It’s horrific. Please keep in mind she’s not well mentally and saw her son suffer terribly whom she loved but could no longer cope with. Can you imagine how that feels? To be unable to care for the person you most love.

The disgusting thing is that I don't think any men have ever been pushed to this point, whereas so many women no matter what their backgrounds, level of education, MH status before kids, can probably relate.

The men bail out. Nine times out of ten, probably. The marriages fail, and the womens' lives change forever, their earning power gone, their lives one 24-hour care round.

The men bail and go on as before. Dean Freeman and his wonderful career is just one particularly sickening example.

@breatheO2NotCO2

Why couldn't she contact SS instead of taking her childs life away?

SHE DID AND THEY IGNORED HER.

@Cherrysoup

The father’s comments re his lovely son made me so cross. Where was he? Bloody well abroad, doing fuck all for his child.

I’ve been trying to put my finger on why the father’s comments bothered me so much. It’s because they sound so detached from the reality of Dylan and his mother’s day to day life. Talking about swimming and art galleries and exotic destinations when the actual lived experience was sleeplessness and meltdowns and isolation. It makes me suspect that he hadn’t been significantly involved in his son’s care for some time.

@breatheO2NotCO2

Why couldn't she contact SS instead of taking her childs life away?

If only she'd thought of that eh?

@breatheO2NotCO2

Why couldn't she contact SS instead of taking her childs life away?

Jeez, if only it was that simple!

She did. They did nothing.

I did.... years ago. Except my son was living in a loving and supportive family therefore they could do nothing to help us.

I was good friends with the wife x2boys, so I did have quite an insight into their lives. My sister works in social services in another part of the country and she tried to help the mum as she really wasn't coping or getting the help she needed. They eventually got the child into school for a few hours per day which was an enormous help, like the little boy in this story he used to get on the bus from his house in the mornings. This was what saved the parents. They were from Poland and had zero family support. We lost touch when they moved but I can't imagine how things are for them now with schools closed and their child will be a teen now. I have no doubt they adored their little boy but it was an awful existence for them at the time - she was very blunt about that.

No one should judge who hasn’t walked a mile in her shoes
I hope the courts are lenient with her
She will punish herself for the rest of her life

Before even opening the thread I knew what your title would be referring to.

Such a tragic case, it's disheartening to see some hateful judgemental comments on Facebook.

She loved and cared for him for 10 years and then the pandemic hit and sue all support overnight. Article said she didn't sleep, had no support and likely no family. Cooped up in a flat with a child that needed routine of school. Nightmare for her. I've no doubt she loved the bones of her son. So so sad. The dad can shut right up about to son loving museums abs art what would he know living in Spain!

It doesn't mean their existence will always be awful the early years are hard you are coming to terms with a diagnosis etc my point is you can t assume people's lives are terrible and will remain so because their child has severe autism and learning disabilities ,it's a different not less .

Yet another show of the disgusting ableism in the UK

I do see what you are saying. Honestly, I do. Dylan had every right to a happy life. His life was every bit as precious as my own children’s lives. I have watched ableism gain even greater traction since this pandemic started and it’s terrifying. I don’t think that’s what is happening here though.

Feeling sympathy for his mother does not condone Dylan’s death, it recognises that it was a preventable death. Sympathy is not about shrugging our shoulders and writing it off as inevitable or unimportant, it is about learning how we can keep other vulnerable, precious, deserving of life and love children safe.

Sleep deprivation can totally change the way your brain works

It’s so sad. I feel deeply sorry for Olga and her son. I hope she is getting the help she needs.

It shocks me how people can read the article - and read that she had severe depression and psychosis - and still have no sympathy or understanding for her. That’s troubling.

But people keep saying they feel sorry for the Mother and Dylan as though Dylan's death was an after thought ,Dylan died he is what matters i can't imagine how terrified he would of been .

@AlternativePerspective

Well, maybe the father walked away because he didn’t trust himself not to snap and potentially do the same thing.

Every time people defend a murderer like this they are yet again diminishing the worth of a disabled child. The poor mother driven to the edge until she snapped and murdered the child who was causing her so many problems and so much stress.

What does that say about the value we place on the lives of the disabled that the able-bodied should be pitied for murdering them?

She has not been found guilty of murder, therefore she is not a murderer. But hey, off you go and continue to use inflammatory language instead of trying to understand how we as a society can help to ensure a parent never finds themselves in her situation.

@HallowedGround

Can I please ask, if there is only one thing you can do, those reading this thread who are coping with lockdown is reach out to those who have disabled children. Offer to go on a socially distanced walk or become part of a support bubble. Even just pop them a text. Olga lived in a community but was isolated.

Reposting this because I think it is important.

The father in Spain was presumably free to step in at any time and contribute to caring for the child on a regular basis. And in view of what has been reported it seems that the mother would have welcomed that. So how dare he criticise her for reaching breaking point?