Is this actual life?

[basilsenia]

Just looking for a wider opinion really.

Currently pregnant with DC1, and all my friends who already have children moan about having kids tv programmes on all the time (think bing/peppa pig etc). They will literally have their kids in the front room, the kids are playing with their toys but the TV is on kids stuff constantly. They keep saying "this will be you soon". The children are between the ages of 12 months to 4 years.

My parents would never of had me playing with my toys and then the TV also on for me as well... it would of always been one or the other.

(Also as a disclaimer they do go out with their children and do other things with them but im just solely on about the times they are at home if the kids are awake it is children's programmes on the tv)

Is this standard...? Am I being naive to think I won't do this 🙈

You can do whatever you want 🤷‍♀️ But it’s advisable not to be smug and judgemental before you’ve had your own because well we all get brought down a peg or two when we’re knee deep in shitty nappies and sleep deprived!

You can choose what you do. But some battles are harder than you expect.

Mine absolutely will not have a screen if they are playing and screens are restricted to weekends (they’re allowed to binge watch early morning sat/sun).

Your kids can behave any way you want them to (broadly speaking) it just requires effort, consistency and different approaches to different personalities.

A little naive- I take my daughter out, have the news on, the radio on but yes paw patrol and Bing do feature in our days too.
My 3yr old doesn’t nap- up at 6am bed at 7- take away a couple of hours for food and bath, that’s 10hrs to fill. Each task entertains her for approx 4 minutes - that’s why many parents resort to the odd bit of children’s tv crap

I'm not being smug or judgemental, its not the amount of time they are watching TV its the fact that they don't put their own TV programmes on whilst the DC are playing with their toys...I was asking if everyone does this for their children or is it just my group of friends...

Oh you sweet summer child!
You can sit and spout of a list of things you won’t allow your child to do/have.
Only have wooden toys
Not have a fussy eater
Have a child that goes to bed bang on time
Not watch tv
Etc etc
You will find that when the child arrives it’s not as easy as you think!!!

I’m not judging - I remember me and DH watching Tanya Byrons house of tony tearaways before we had kids and being completely judgemental!!!

I never have the tv on unless we are sitting down watching a programme. Absolutely awful to have it on all the time.

I could put my programmes on while DS is playing. If I never wanted to hear a word or follow the storyline of any of my programmes ever again.

What @GreenSlide said 😂😂😂

Not on my watch. My parents didn’t do it either. Doesn’t constant TV give people a headache, it does to me? But l know there are a long list of things people swear they won’t do when they have their own children but then. My ex SIL said dummies were common and dirty, she lasted less than day after bringing her eldest home before buying some!

TV only on if we are watching. But the adults don't tend to watch TV during the day, only the kids. Even then, not all the time. If one of them asks for something specific while they are playing then fine, that can go on...I don't tend to just have cbeebies or whatever on in the background by default. I know some families do because they like the background noise.

You won't know what your kids'personalities are until they are there and start growing, they're not mouldable objects.

No I didn't have it on in the background. But there will be occasions when you need to load the washing machine/have five minutes to yourself when you will put it on just for your sanity.

And when you say ‘your’ programmes - what do you mean?

When they are tiny yes. But as they get older they listen and watch. Depends what you’re watching. Antiques Roadshow would be fine, Breaking Bad maybe not so much

Well you can't exactly sit down and watch the walking dead or game of thrones with the kids playing in the room, can you?!

My DH grew up with telly on all of the time for background noise. I didn't. I let my kids watch loads of telly. But if they are playing rather than actively watching, it goes off.

I will watch telly myself when they are playing within reason. Usually it's something child appropriate or I don't need to concentrate on. I do tend to wait until the kids are in bed to watch something on telly. Mainly so I'm not constantly interrupted.

It really depends but no it's not a given OP.

You can't really watch your own programmes with a child around. They're quite loud and demand attention at regular intervals. I really hadn't realised quite how loud children are until I lived with one. Also often adult TV just isn't suitable - the news certainly isn't, lots of things have fishing lights or violence I wouldn't want my son to see. I guess you'd be ok with daytime TV, but I've never watched that and Cbeebies is better!

Toddlers' attention span is minutes, sometimes seconds. TV means they focus on something for more than 5 minutes so you can get stuff done. I'd rather not have it on, but needs must.

Currently watching Bridgerton and Ozark.... can’t really have those on in the background. I suppose if you watch soaps, then yes you could have those on.

I didn’t have a TV when mine was little so it wasn’t an option! I would visit friends and they’d have the TV on all the time for the kids and I really struggled with the noise tbh. I’m very noise sensitive nowadays!!

By my programmes - I wasn't generally thinking of anything in particular but as an example Saturday afternoon and DH wants to put the football on the TV... I have friends that would genuinely keep the kids tv on in the background (DC not paying attention to it or paying very little attention whilst doing something else) and DH would watch it on his phone or catch the highlights later. I understand that you probably wouldn't put anything on that required a certain level of concentration though for your own benefit 🤣!!

Youre the world's best parent until you become one! Its kind of true for me, if DS was watching TV then switches to playing its just on in the background. It becomes like a screensaver for your life! You can't have your shows on because you'll never get to watch them, you can't have nothing on because you'll go crazy listening to all the little bleeping noises and songs their toys make, so some dialog is most welcomed !

Mine generally aren’t allowed to watch TV as we’ve noticed it makes them very irritable and badly behaved. (They’re 2.5 and 1) but sometimes when they are too tired to play after a busy day I let them watch half an hour of something while I get dinner ready.

I think if you let them do whatever all the time, that is just lazy parenting, because it’s not that hard to enforce some rules and in the long run it’s better for all of you to have some kind of structure and routine. (Leaving the TV on all day is especially bad for their concentration and language development). Having said that, there will be days when you just can’t be bothered. (I think there were 2 or 3 days when I was pregnant that my son watched Peppa Pig all morning while I just lay on the sofa feeling sick). As long as you get your shit back together the next day I think it’s fine to relax your rules now and then.

My DD definitely watches too much tv but it’s not always on in the background. If it was then she’d never do much else. We tend to give her 30 min stints and then 5 mins warning and then turn it off. She will play a bit while watching but not in the same way and only half pays attention to her toys when the telly is on.

If I try and put non-kids tv on when she is awake she just constantly asks for CBeebies or YouTube songs so it’s not worth it. Plus you’d never be able to follow it. We occasionally put the news on but same happens really, she just whinges. I generally don’t like having the tv on all the time, it annoys me even when it’s adults programmes (my mum always has the telly on and I feel like I can’t think!). So we watch our stuff when she’s in bed in the evenings.

I used to watch my stuff when they had a nap.

I could put my programmes on while DS is playing. If I never wanted to hear a word or follow the storyline of any of my programmes ever again.

Ha ha, Amen!

My kids have set tv time but I wouldn’t leave the tv on as background noise all day while they play.

During the with hindsight utterly blissful baby stages, I’d watch my tv whilst feeding my DTs.

Then they became toddlers and got their own opinions. Now it’s the same shit on repeat as often as they can get away with. I don’t think my tv knows that there’s any other choice apart from frozen and mr bloody tumble!

On the plus side, they hate bing as much as I do, and if I ever get to go out ever again I’ll sing frozen at karaoke.