Is this actual life?

[basilsenia]

Just looking for a wider opinion really.

Currently pregnant with DC1, and all my friends who already have children moan about having kids tv programmes on all the time (think bing/peppa pig etc). They will literally have their kids in the front room, the kids are playing with their toys but the TV is on kids stuff constantly. They keep saying "this will be you soon". The children are between the ages of 12 months to 4 years.

My parents would never of had me playing with my toys and then the TV also on for me as well... it would of always been one or the other.

(Also as a disclaimer they do go out with their children and do other things with them but im just solely on about the times they are at home if the kids are awake it is children's programmes on the tv)

Is this standard...? Am I being naive to think I won't do this 🙈

God no, because I hate TV in the background and kids TV is worse of all.

But if you don’t mind I can see you might do it.. I don’t really see the point though, they don’t need TV if they are playing.

Your house, your rules. I don’t allow the TV on until after 5pm I might be a wicked witch but i need peace and the constant TV drives me crackers! My children play in the playroom where there’s no TV so don’t ask for it. When they start getting bored I take them out to the park or a scooter ride.

I didn’t have the tv on in the background when they were little, ‘my programmes’ or theirs.
I grew up in a house where the telly was on from the minute someone got up until the minute the last person went to sleep.
Drove me mad as a teenager, the constant drone.
I would put it on if there was something on I wanted to watch but not just as an additional noise in the room. Kids make enough noise without having tv on aswell as playing with toys.
I’m not saying it never happened, just that it was something I consciously avoided where possible.
Now, the only programmes I watch tend to be true crime - not suitable for kids at all so I watch these later on in the evening when the youngest is in bed, and even now at 15 and 16 if the older ones come in I’ll pause it! (Probably unnecessary as they watch similar stuff!)
Dh likes the sopranos and things that again, aren’t suitable for young eyes and ears.
You do what you want, everyone does things differently. Wait and see when the baby is here.

Not much useful to say except no way, mostly because I can't bare more than one lot of noise at once. I wouldn't and haven't watched my own stuff- would miss most of it.

Oh and... STICK STICK STICK STICK, STICKY STICKY, STICK STICK.....

We stopped watching TV once our first arrived, we'd lrtvhervwatch the occasional show but we went from having it always on in the background to it being off 90% of the time. We watch our shows on Saturday evenings, every other night we are working once they go to bed.

@basilsenia

It’s a lockdown, after a year of severe restrictions. I’ve got 3 young kids. I can guarantee that the TV is barely off right now. Life is hell and I’m exhausted.

Our 4 and 6 year old watch 30-45 mins of TV every day and then it goes off. That’s always been how we’ve done it - when they were younger it was two episodes of whatever, and then it went off. That’s made easier when they watch DVDs rather than Netflix which automatically rolls into the next episode. TV is wonderful down time for them and for us but they go a bit loopy if they watch too much. I do love it now when we can all sit down and watch a Disney movie together though as a weekend treat! We don’t have background TV - it drives me mad. Partly because I grew up in a house without TV so I’m incapable of holding a conversation while it’s on as I get transfixed by it!! And we watch our TV programmes after the kids are in bed as they aren’t suitable - Ozark, Bridgerton, Schitt’s Creek etc

You don’t say how old you are OP, and I’m not actually sure when it changed, but when I was a kid kids tv was on for a couple of hours a day, not constantly available. So it’s not really relevant to think about what my parents did.

The children are definitely watching more tv in this grim January lockdown though... thank god for Disney +

As a child free person observing Fiends and family, all the smugness falls apart pretty soon.

In particular when the second child comes along, it’s anything for a bit of peace.

My most pious, judgy friend soon dropped the Screen rules, wooden toys etc when baby number two arrived.

To be clear I am not judging. - I couldn’t do it. It’s exhausting.

I hate that, my OH grew up with the tv on all the time and now needs literally constant noise, it drives me mad. We hardly ever had the tv on at mine and I was the same with my lo, the tv was off unless he was asleep until he was two and very little after that, still isn't that bothered 10 years later. Kids need direct speech to learn to talk and I knew that it would be a slippery slope if I started having the tv on when he was little.

I never had the tv on when my kids were small unless they were actually watching it. It used to annoy me if we went to someone’s house and they had kids tv on in the background.

It doesn’t matter what your friends do or what they say to you, just stick to your own instincts.

You can do what you want. But it partly depends how much effort you're able to put into establishing rules and routines. I think parents who leave the TV on all day are maybe struggling a bit with managing their kids behaviour/ boredom outside of that (not that it's easy so I wouldn't judge!)

These threads always seem so iffy.

I was asking if everyone does this for their children

You really had no idea what the answer might be? You don't think that maybe different parents do different things?

And yeah as other posters have said... it is really quite recent that it's even been possible to have kids TV streaming all day. 15 years ago it wasn't even a thing, it was just on when it was on. I guess you could put a DVD on but people wouldn't often bother.

I think having background TV on all day is probably not great for children's communication or attention development.

Atm, it’s on regularly in the background and DC switch between watching it and playing with their toys. In an ideal world we would be out and about meeting friends and family, going for days out, eating out etc. but all of that is impossible right now. Extra screen time gives me some more peace and an activity for a short time.

[quote PaddyF0dder]@basilsenia

It’s a lockdown, after a year of severe restrictions. I’ve got 3 young kids. I can guarantee that the TV is barely off right now. Life is hell and I’m exhausted.[/quote]
Yep, I'd go mental off I had to entertain all day.

DD goes back and forth between playing and TV so I'm not really going to switch it on and off every 15 minutes.

If anyone that concerned about their own entertainment get a radio or phone

I couldn't stand to have the TV on as background noise but DD 2 yrs does watch TV programmes.

How will they ever learn to entertain themselves if they tv is always on?

I was speaking to a primary school teacher and she said it's a real problem that children arrive at school not knowing how to play as they have just sat in front of screens.

It's really hard. When the child wakes up at 5/6am and you're tired, you can give them peppa to watch on an iPad and then doze a bit longer. But beware because they will come to expect it all the time. Sometimes you give in for an easy life. And if you have to work from home and look after a toddler, you do whatever you can to survive the day.

Once you start offering up screens, it's hard to take them away. They're your friend and your enemy

I was quite strict until the first lockdown and trying to work from home and entertain a 3 year old. We quickly resorted to tv all day. I'm trying to reign it in a bit but with the lockdowns it's tough and has now become a habit so harder to stop.
Much easier to enforce when you can fill more of the day with outside activities/visitors.

Yep I'm one of those terrible people who tend to have tv on in the background. My LO is still only small so doesn't really get TV but there are a couple of shows he will watch 10 mins of here and there.

I find it quite hard work to fill every second of the day from 6am-7pm what with not being able to go anywhere or do anything. He is still too little for any kind of crafting etc.

It doesn't mean I don't talk to him or he play with his toys etc. I would go mad listening to silence or my own voice all day.

My dd us autistic and doesnt know how to play unless I'm actually sitting with her and leading the game. She has the tv on and copies what's happening in her play. Obviously I do play with her a lot but when I need a break its tv on and toys out at the same time.. I would be sad if a friend of mine commented about it on mumsnet!

i dont think everyone does it, but lots of people do as it makes things easier sometimes. I sometimes feel quite nostalgic for the kids programmes now mine are older. With my eldest it was bear in the big blue house, the hoobs, tots tv and the tweenies. With the others it was charlie and lola, peppa pig and dora the explorer

I think some responses are a bit rude! I didn’t read the OP as judgmental at all!

It depends on the child OP. My DS has never watched any tv, has no desire to including baby/toddler programmes. I have my own programmes on through the day and he plays with his toys. I don’t sit and watch them but a single the one who will show any interest in my tv, it’s my shows!
Very occasionally he will watch five minutes of an animation film, usually after a nap when he’s still groggy!