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Is this actual life?

101 replies

basilsenia · 24/01/2021 18:46

Just looking for a wider opinion really.

Currently pregnant with DC1, and all my friends who already have children moan about having kids tv programmes on all the time (think bing/peppa pig etc). They will literally have their kids in the front room, the kids are playing with their toys but the TV is on kids stuff constantly. They keep saying "this will be you soon". The children are between the ages of 12 months to 4 years.

My parents would never of had me playing with my toys and then the TV also on for me as well... it would of always been one or the other.

(Also as a disclaimer they do go out with their children and do other things with them but im just solely on about the times they are at home if the kids are awake it is children's programmes on the tv)

Is this standard...? Am I being naive to think I won't do this 🙈

OP posts:
Goostacean · 24/01/2021 21:25

We have a TV that we only use for Netflix about... once a month. I’m pretty puritanical about TV time (mine are almost 3 and just 1, so I’m sure I’ll flex oaks they grow up!). I currently think TV time is one of the lowest value things my children can be doing.... so I don’t let them do it. I include them in chores, or the chores wait, and my eldest is pretty independent now - possibly as a result? For example I also can’t stand dummies, so I never bought them, half heartedly offered one to my screaming baby once and then chucked away the ones my MIL had got me!

Essentially, if something is or isn’t important to you, you can prioritise it accordingly as you parent. If you don’t want Peppa Pig on all afternoon, don’t have it on! Regardless of what your friends do. Smile

Goostacean · 24/01/2021 21:28

Flex AS they grow...

Also, to add, because I think that post sounded a bit smug- there is absolutely loads of stuff that I don’t do which I could.... lovingly prepared chicken meatballs as a low fat, no salt meal option, like my SIL, for example. It’s just about what you choose to prioritise.

Glenorma · 24/01/2021 21:30

its the fact that they don't put their own TV programmes on whilst the DC are playing with their toys
Why would I want my tv on while kids are making a noise, interrupting and spoiling it? I either watch tv after bedtime or I watch it on my phone with wireless headphones.

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whatswithtodaytoday · 24/01/2021 21:32

I think lockdown - and the pandemic generally - have made a huge difference to this. In normal life the TV wouldn't be on all day because we simply wouldn't be in the house. And his toys would be more interesting on the days we were home, because we'd been out a lot and he hadn't played with them so much.

Right now we're wfh with him at home too and even when he was at nursery, we had nowhere to go at the weekend. His toys get rotated but realistically, entertaining him for 10 hours a day is bloody hard work and the TV takes some of the slack. I'm sure in future when there are places to go and things to do, he won't watch so much TV. If anyone would like to isolate as much as we are and come and entertain him for more, you're more than welcome.

Mangofandangoo · 24/01/2021 21:41

You'll do it OP 🙃

TillyTopper · 24/01/2021 21:43

Kids go on what they know - so if you put the TV and let them on have it constantly they will watch it. Personally me and DP were not big TV watchers anyway and have never put the TV on unless there is something we specifically want to watch, so we would put a suitable programme but then switch off afterwards. Ours didn't watch much TV at all tbh - however they have since turned into massive gamers!

candlemasbells · 24/01/2021 21:44

We tend to use iPads for watching tv. Ds who’s 3 can watch Andy’a Dino adventures on one iPad and I can watch skmething else with the subtitles on, on the other iPad.
On kids YouTube you can preselect the videos they can choose from and there are some really good ones like Steve and Maggie.
We do watch more than usual atm but turn I think off when we are not watching it. It just helps pass the time.

DiscustinHunAmFummin · 24/01/2021 21:59

I would really like to be able to sneak to the toilet without my toddler following me to 'help' or my 6 year old asking a million random questions.
Sometimes the sound of the TV as background noise can cover me leaving the room and going upstairs if nobody is looking in my direction.
If this is a possibility at least once a day then it's worth the TV being on!

Shinyletsbebadguys · 24/01/2021 22:03

To be honest I don't watch anything the DC could watch as well without nightmares and an extended stint with a child psychologist (I have an odd enjoyment for zombie films Grin no idea why , I rarely watch tv outside of that).

But I do think as a parent you start to appreciate and focus your downtime. Honestly I enjoy sitting down at the end of the day with DP and we either watch TV or play games etc. So i guess it sort of becomes in the daytime it's all about the DC (believe me I am not all about the children as a rule because i quite like my sanity , but currently with am 8 year old and a 5 year old at home all day...every day....every minute ...ahem sorry went down a rabbit hole there) so of the TV is on then it's for them.

I can't bear more than one electronic device blaring out (nor can DP or ds1 actually....ds2 could have a neutron bomb explode next to him and he would think it was quiet but we work on the rule that majority wins so he is out of luck) so no noone else puts anything on.

I think honestly you will find your own way I wouldn't look too much at what others are doing but be realistic about the fact the days routine is dramatically different when you have DC. It is not like when you were a child and it will be different when your DC are grown up. Do what works for you.

Rockettrain · 24/01/2021 22:05

I KNOW there are always things that people say when they’re pregnant/before kids that they don’t stick to (I said I wouldn’t have pain relief in labour, HAHAHAHAHA) but at the same time I always find it a bit patronising when people say “oh just wait til you have your own” etc. FWIW, I have stuck to maybe 75% of the things that I said I would before kids. That’s not some sort of stealth boast, but generally speaking there are some things that I feel fairly strongly about and that are part of my general life approach and I have prioritised. The wooden toys thing is a good example - I am quite into environmental causes and was before kids so I always thought I wouldn’t buy them mounds of plastic tat. So far I have pretty much stuck to this, and when we have got plastic stuff it is either second hand or a gift from friends/family. I imagine that if I’d said this beforehand people would have scoffed at me and said “yeah just you wait” but i have always been into those causes so it was unlikely to change much. Ibviously of kids want specific characters/items as they get older then I will be flexible but it’s important to me so I will continue to prioritise it.

It sounds like you generally don’t like having the tv on all the time so there’s no reason why you would suddenly have to start doing this when you have kids. Other people don’t mind it and that’s probably why they have gone along with it.

Littlewhitedove2 · 24/01/2021 22:08

@basilsenia

Just looking for a wider opinion really.

Currently pregnant with DC1, and all my friends who already have children moan about having kids tv programmes on all the time (think bing/peppa pig etc). They will literally have their kids in the front room, the kids are playing with their toys but the TV is on kids stuff constantly. They keep saying "this will be you soon". The children are between the ages of 12 months to 4 years.

My parents would never of had me playing with my toys and then the TV also on for me as well... it would of always been one or the other.

(Also as a disclaimer they do go out with their children and do other things with them but im just solely on about the times they are at home if the kids are awake it is children's programmes on the tv)

Is this standard...? Am I being naive to think I won't do this 🙈

No that doesn’t have to be you. I have 3 children and we never just had the tv rolling all day. I liked to put the tv on for specific periods and then turn it off. I used to find the novelty of tv didn’t last if it was just turned on too much in the background. I needed tv to catch a much needed cup of tea, cook the dinner or to feed younger children etc.

What I would say though... is let go of any preconceived ideas about what you DEFINITELY will and will not do. You really don’t know until that baby comes and turns into a todddler!

Insertfunnyname · 24/01/2021 22:10

We don’t have a tv and I hate the noise of one being on all the time. Kids are 4,6&8 so of course it needn’t be you

OneKeyAtATime · 24/01/2021 22:11

I have a 5 year old. She has never watched cbbeebies and I have never heard of bing. She does watch cartoons a bit over the weekend but not that much really and certainly not in the background (why would anyone do that? What does it actually bring?!)

ginandnappies · 24/01/2021 22:11

Haha oh I remember all the things I said I'd never do...

TwilledSilesia · 24/01/2021 22:14

Of course it doesn’t have to be you. I loathe tv on as background, and it’s only on here if someone is actually watching something.

Plonque · 24/01/2021 22:27

Lol, love it when the very first reply nails it and no one else need bother!

alltheadrenalin · 24/01/2021 22:29

Lol, love it when the very first reply nails it and no one else need bother!

^^ my thoughts as well 🤣 were all the best of parents until we've had kids

Screwcorona · 24/01/2021 22:36

If you dont want to then you wont. I dont put tv on when he plays, I find it distracts ds from getting properly into whatever hes playing anyway.
My son gets half hour before breakfast, about the same after lunch and before bed/bathtime an episode.

TV does my head in tho so it might just be that

donewithitalltodayandxmas · 24/01/2021 23:21

Wait until the day your sat watching peppa pig wondering what will happen and them you realise your kids have been asleep for 30 mins and only you care about mummy pig

donewithitalltodayandxmas · 24/01/2021 23:27

@onekeyatatime because they want to , why do others care and judge so much about how often they or their kids do or don't have the tv on. Its really no one else's business.

Halloweiner · 24/01/2021 23:59

My DC are definitely watching too much TV at the moment, but life isn't exactly normal right now is it? We don't have it on in the background though, if it's not being actively watched it goes off.

corythatwas · 25/01/2021 00:14

We didn't even have a telly when they were little and once we got one we did not have it on as background noise. There is absolutely no obligation to do so and it is possible to say no to children.

corythatwas · 25/01/2021 00:16

Rockettrain Sun 24-Jan-21 22:05:49

I KNOW there are always things that people say when they’re pregnant/before kids that they don’t stick to (I said I wouldn’t have pain relief in labour, HAHAHAHAHA) but at the same time I always find it a bit patronising when people say “oh just wait til you have your own” etc. FWIW, I have stuck to maybe 75% of the things that I said I would before kids

This.

Justyouwaitandseeagain · 25/01/2021 00:20

When mine were babies and I was still on mat leave I would mainly watch ‘my’ programmes (eg homes under the hammer Grin). As they grew up I introduced a bit of kids tv. Since lockdown kids Netflix is on pretty much full time. No adult tv during the day. My DH will very occasionally put the sport on but more often than not will watch or listen on his phone with his ear buds.

HippoOnMyRoofEatingCake · 25/01/2021 01:08

Is this standard...?

Some people do it. Some don't.

My parents would never of had me playing with my toys and then the TV also on for me as well... it would of always been one or the other

My parents would never have let me say would of instead of would have. No matter how much TV they let me watch.

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