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Wardrobes DH ICU

999 replies

Wardrobes123 · 19/01/2021 20:30

Just thought I’d create a new thread. To help us to keep track of what’s happened.

My DH was ventilated last week. We’ve had two calls to see him due to him being very close to death. He isn’t stable but he is still alive at the moment. All we can do is wait.

I’m not going to lie, I’m not coping at all. My mum has moved in to help me cope with daily life. We’ve spoken with the children and they know how serious it is. They are also struggling now with the youngest stepping back from schooling when she needs to.

I can’t think ahead. Just usually about the hour or two that we’re living in. It’s very surreal. And incredibly difficult. Doctors are very realistic about prognosis and survival, which is really hard to hear.

I am incredibly grateful for all the support we’ve had as a family. MN is a remarkable place at times.

@groovinpeanut - Flowers my heart goes out to you and your family and I’m so sorry for the loss of your DH, message me anytime X

@intheshadowofthemushroomcloud - Flowers for all your support and messages.

I have had several messages from other mnetters who don’t have their own threads but who are also experiencing this living hell Flowers it’s a horrible journey and we don’t know how it will end but all we can do is hope/pray for a better outcome.

I haven’t always had the energy to post, too fearful of jinxing things and generally the last few days have been very raw and intense. But I’ve read every message and I’m so grateful of the support.

OP posts:
Whitegrenache · 31/01/2021 14:08

Delighted to hear Mr wardrobe has made good progress xx

BridgetJonesDaiquiri · 31/01/2021 14:54

What fabulous news! Keep it up Mr Wardrobes x

BenoneBeauty · 31/01/2021 15:15

Just found your thread again Op - so pleased to read the latest update. Hope he goes from strength to strength.

Wardrobes123 · 01/02/2021 13:57

ICU journeys are akin to roller coasters.

He's had a bit of a backwards step over the weekend. The cpap was working for him, however, he struggled a lot over the weekend. They aren't going to be trying to get him off the ventilator any time soon.

Hes also lost his dialysis access line. They are taking him into theatre to get a more permanent access line sorted (hopefully). Some of his levels are very high so they will need to move fairly quickly.

I'm just exhausted with it all really. It feels like every time we have a bit of good news its quickly overshadowed.

My mum also isn't well (not covid) and has gone to hospital today. Hopefully nothing serious but she did need to be checked urgently.

Just want everything to fuck off if I'm honest.

the children are being really good though, which is a big help.

OP posts:
LivingMyBestLife2020 · 01/02/2021 14:00

Sending love xx

thornyhousewife · 01/02/2021 14:18

So sorry you're on this ICU roller coaster. It does feel like baby steps forward then backwards, you must be exhausted. It's hard to see how far you've come after a set back but please try and hold on to the progress he has made so far and how excellent his team are.

Sorry to hear your mum is poorly today- you have a lot of weight on your shoulders Wardrobe.

Thinking of you, please do whatever you need to get you and your kids through the day.

Wardrobes123 · 01/02/2021 14:30

Can I just check - they've phoned for consent for the theatre procedure - they want oral consent from me - Is that normal? I guess he can't consent for himself, but its urgent and necessary then can't they just do it?

They are a bit worried he'll lose the theatre slot for today due to urgent procedures. Which is understandable.

He has made progress, I should be counting my blessings. I'm worried about long term but obviously there is hope that there is long term which is great considering where we were.

I just wish this wasn't happening. I'm having a very up and down day.

OP posts:
needadvice54321 · 01/02/2021 14:36

I don't know the answer to that but wanted to reach out with a handhold today x

StealthPolarBear · 01/02/2021 14:36

Xx

spiderlight · 01/02/2021 14:56

Oh goodness - that's a lot for you to be dealing with. No idea about the consent protocol but hopefully they're just making sure all boxes are ticked. Hope it all goes smoothly and that your mum is soon on the mend too. Sending a tight handhold xx

Trumplosttheelection · 01/02/2021 14:56

Hang in there op. Yes it's normal to discuss with relatives. Dialysis access is a bit of an odd one because whilst he will likely die without dialysis that's a long-standing condition and some patients will make a considered decision to stop at some point. By talking to you they are confirming that everybody is on the same page with what the right thing for him is. They don't expect you not to give consent iyswim but it's right To be communicating with you when dh can't say what he wants.

FossilisedFanny · 01/02/2021 15:08

My dd’s father is in hospital and the hospital phoned her for consent to fit a PEG , so quite normal.
Hang on in there xxx

Onadifferentuniverse · 01/02/2021 15:11

sending you some strength op.
Bloody tough going x

Wardrobes123 · 01/02/2021 15:15

@Trumplosttheelection - oh that makes so much sense.

Yes he was quite vocal about wanting to continue with dialysis pre intubation. He also said a more permanent access point would have been his wish, so this is in line with what he wanted.

I have so much work to do and I have no will left to do it!

Looks like my mum is ok though which is a big relief.

OP posts:
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 01/02/2021 15:32

I'm happy that your mum is ok, phew!

Such a rough journey though - sorry to hear your DH has had a slight step backwards, but hopefully the procedure will help him back to going forward again soon.

Big (((((hugs))))

KilljoysDutch · 01/02/2021 16:21

Glad your mum is ok at least there's a little light there for you Flowers Your DH has an amazing strength to lean on in you, you're doing amazingly well even on that rollercoaster you're still keeping your head

MrPanks · 01/02/2021 16:31

Dear Wardrobes, I’m sorry you’re having such a roller coaster time, you are probably exhausted mentally but also physically from raised cortisol levels due to stress, and your mum being poorly has kicked your support legs from under you. I’m glad your mum is okay, that must be such a relief for you. I hope Mr Wardrobes op goes okay. Keeping you both in my prayers.

MaggieFS · 01/02/2021 16:33

Good news about your mum. What a lot to cope with. I hope he gets his op today.

SunshineCake · 01/02/2021 17:28

Wonderful news about your mum.

You are doing brilliantly and being strong as you have to be. So many people are thinking of you and your family and I just hope the power of thought and care helps.

Hope your dh is okay in the OR.

Thebigendsgoneluv · 01/02/2021 17:42

Sending handholds and strength to all the wardrobes - I hope your mum continues to improve.

Hollywolly1 · 01/02/2021 18:24

Flowerswishing your husband well and happy your mother is doing okay

LIZS · 01/02/2021 18:28

Oh goodness, sorry to see your update. As if you don't have enough to deal with already. Hoping your dm is back soon and dh surgery goes routinely.

Tisahardlife · 01/02/2021 18:49

Hand holding from here. Tou have such a lot on and big decisions to make but you're doing it one step at a time and one day this will all be a bad memory. Until then have some virtual love WineCakeFlowers

Dailyhandtowelwash · 01/02/2021 18:55

You poor old thing. I'm glad your mum is OK. My fingers remain very tightly crossed for everything.

RogueV · 01/02/2021 19:58

Praying for your DH Wardrobes. Glad your mum is ok. Hang in there Star