Things on MN that aren’t real life (LIGHTHEARTED)

[Summersun2020]

Thing on Mumsnet that you’ve only ever encountered on Mumsnet (lighthearted...please don’t bowl in with “well I do that actually”...ignore or add one of your own!!

People not using fabric softener...appears that on MN people in their droves think it stinks and is devil juice (I don’t know anyone IRL who is so vehemently against it/gets a migraine from the smell?? Surely it’s not that strong?).

any sort of noise in your garden at any time-kids on a trampoline, playing a radio at a normal level, etc. Completely normal everywhere I’ve ever lived- a cardinal sin on MN!

@Triphazards

Long boring stories about your ancestors' supper.

🐱🍶 I did laugh at this.

Insisting on gender neutral, actor! no your an actress. Why is being called an actress demeaning your a woman be proud of that fact. We are bloody marvelous after all

The bizarre discrepancy between never answering your door, shaking with fear in case it’s a serial killer yet in the same breath screaming that if their husband dared to drop a sock they’d be divorcing him and logging it with the police!

But mainly- this weird emotional investment in what others do! In real life, no one I know could give a flying fck if others stay in their pyjamas on Christmas Day or prefer using tampons, or wear makeup or shower daily. I literally couldn’t give a toss yet on MN people get SO invested in how others choose to live their lives in ways that don’t affect them AT ALL! it’s bloody bizarre

You want to know where all the dry ice supplies have gone? No, nothing to do with the pfizer vaccine! It’s been stockpiled by mumsnetters keeping Persephone and sebastians lunch at sub zero

hilarious!!

@Shamefulcorners

Putting vinegar in your washing machine because it’s better for the environment than fabric conditioner. Okay love, course you do

^^ Um, I actually do do this! Always have, and so did my mother

Wearing pyjamas all day. Perhaps it's generational or cultural but I don't know one person in RL who wears pjs in the daytime or allows their DC to do this; have only read about it on Mumsnet.

Ditto putting up Christmas decorations in November and taking them down in February

Omg I don’t think I’ve met anyone who wouldn’t have a jammie day now and again or most weekends

Women who've been married to the same man for 20+ years offering on line dating advice !!!

Everyone has a downstairs loo and at least two bathrooms.

Wearing pyjamas all day. Perhaps it's generational or cultural but I don't know one person in RL who wears pjs in the daytime or allows their DC to do this; have only read about it on Mumsnet

I know lots of people who do this! Lots and lots.

Always remember the lady who posted that her husband had been asked to get 4 (different content) sandwiches from the shop and just got 4 sausage rolls instead.
Clearly in RL he either couldn’t remember what to get or just couldn’t be arsed. (We’ve all done it then made up an excuse, “you’ll never believe it but the sandwich shop had totally run out of sandwiches!”

Majority of the responses- LTB!!!!!
“He doesn’t respect you!”
“ it might only be a sausage roll but it makes you wonder what else he’s doing! ”
“He’s got a secret family somewhere else that’s why he’s not giving you the consideration you deserve!” (I exaggerated that one but along those lines.)

I tend to think that ppl who post stuff like that have never had someone nice in their lives who’ve just bought them a surprise sausage roll. And obviously with good reason.

Reason for divorce- Greggs

Everyone is on a 6 figure salary that they just manage to get by on.

No one ever makes a salad. They make a 'huge' salad dressed with the tears of angels.

Everyone on mn has an au pair, a cleaner and some who does the garden for them.

Not sure if this one was mentioned, but I've never seen a little boy going around in a tutu or Elsa dress IRL. On MN it's practically a rite of passage and if DH has anything to say against then he's a misogynistic homophobe and you should definitely LTB.

Putting a flask of soup in your kids lunchbox. Have worked in schools for many years and have literally never seen this!

@ClangingChimesofDoom

Being a total cow to people who are going through a hard time, or are genuinely seeking help.

You’ve never met my sisters then

Oh God. I've never stayed in my PJs all day. And I put vinegar not FS in my washing machine.

I'm a MN walking cliche arent I?

On the plus side, I can't make a roast chicken last more than 2 meals at most.

Making sure that £3250 a month after bills and rent/mortgage is enough to live off 🤣

Putting a flask of soup in your kids lunchbox. Have worked in schools for many years and have literally never seen this!

My 11y/o has recently asked me if he can take a flask of soup to school - no idea what prompted that, he must be reading MN. The answer was no, I'd rather not wash blazers every day.

@Russellbrandshair

Wearing pyjamas all day. Perhaps it's generational or cultural but I don't know one person in RL who wears pjs in the daytime or allows their DC to do this; have only read about it on Mumsnet

I know lots of people who do this! Lots and lots.

I haven’t got out of my pyjamas since mid December... I’m furlough, I’m in the bath every day I change my pyjamas every 2nd or 3rd day .. I have a big coat wearing my pyjamas..I walked the dog in my pyjamas today , I went to Aldi in them . Judge away .. I shop probably every 2 weeks minimum and go no where else ...literally take my coat off and I’m indoors again I love it

Nothing nicer than a PJ day!

The best one I ever saw was a thread who’s husbands email had all those obvious spam emails in it like “fancy a fuck? I’m nearby” or “Jenny is horny and single 13km away” and all the posters had this poor woman convinced her husband was getting his end away 24/7, had her checking joint bank account statements, “getting her ducks in a row” and everything

I consider PJs to be house clothes. I get dressed everytime I go somewhere, and then will usually change back into PJs once home, unless I'm going out again soon after.

My PJs are really nice and are always clean that day.

Then again, where I live is swelteringly hot all year round, so wearing proper clothes gets uncomfortable quickly. Maybe if i was still in the UK i would be happy to wear jumpers and jeans all day since it wouldn't be so hot and sweaty.

@bellver888

The best one I ever saw was a thread who’s husbands email had all those obvious spam emails in it like “fancy a fuck? I’m nearby” or “Jenny is horny and single 13km away” and all the posters had this poor woman convinced her husband was getting his end away 24/7, had her checking joint bank account statements, “getting her ducks in a row” and everything

😱 nooo. Poor her! My email sometimes misses spam and I too am very attractive for single ladies in my area it appears😁

@SchrodingersImmigrant ah me too! and im a bitcoin millionaire 😂

If a mumsnetter has a baby with an older man he always looks 35, and is therefore immune to the aging process🤯

@bellver888 amazing. I have my fortunes spread over number of countries according to the lawyers allerting me to it😁

@SchrodingersImmigrant literally yes! I wonder if they’ll ever try getting in touch, or they just want us to have their money 😂

After you've had your baby, you should lock yourself in the house with your DP for 3 months until you finally feel ready to allow the excited grandparents and your families a glimpse of the baby.

Also, most mums have a nanny. And, there are lots of little baby Jonathans, Davids and Claires around according to the Baby Names threads. I have never known anyone with a nanny and not known a baby with one of these names for years.