Things on MN that aren’t real life (LIGHTHEARTED)

[Summersun2020]

Thing on Mumsnet that you’ve only ever encountered on Mumsnet (lighthearted...please don’t bowl in with “well I do that actually”...ignore or add one of your own!!

People not using fabric softener...appears that on MN people in their droves think it stinks and is devil juice (I don’t know anyone IRL who is so vehemently against it/gets a migraine from the smell?? Surely it’s not that strong?).

any sort of noise in your garden at any time-kids on a trampoline, playing a radio at a normal level, etc. Completely normal everywhere I’ve ever lived- a cardinal sin on MN!

Ordering takeway pizza and then declaring oneself full after having 1 or 2 slices

Saying LIGHTHEARTED - before being an arsehole. I've only ever seen that on MN.

Not bagging a table in a cafe/ coffee shop before ordering your food or drink. In my defence,I am disabled,so I always make sure that I have a table to go to before I order my food or coffee. I don't want to order then be standing there looking in vain for somewhere to sit in a packed shop. I know and witness loads of people who do this but on Mumsnet it seems to be totally taboo.

People ruining a lighthearted thread with humourless posts just to be contrary-only on MN!

Thought of another one. Each individual in a household doing their own laundry. I mean really?

Oh god yes, the mortal offence of getting a table before getting food. Everybody does this except MNers!

People who spend £40 on their child for Xmas and think it’s way to much and are looking to cut back. Don’t understand other families don’t have hobbies or sports clubs, going out for meals, days out to the NT, pocket money or expensive holidays and Xmas is the one treat time of the year.

People who make over perfectly normal readily available food in the supermarket oh I didn’t think people ate that any more. Top clue it’s on the shelf in Waitrose someone eats it!

Anyone who works hard or incredible hard deserves their £50k salary and the rest of us just never tried hard enough.

Think anyone in lives in Social housing is bound to be socially delinquent, will bring your house price down and can’t be consider a regular hard working person (see above).

People who never give their kids squash only diluting juice on special occasions!!

only on MN parents who chuck their kids out and forget about them entirely the second they turn 18

People who charge their guests, with a paid bar or other. Only on MN!

People who cannot tolerate to visit a friend or have guests over.

Man haters too! Never met one in real life!

I strongly suspect the most violent keyboard warriors on MN are very meek and submissive in real life, which explains the built-in rage and the fact that you wouldn't know the depth of their issues.

Parents who happily put their kids in the shittiest local school because they can't be bothered to move.

Landlord haters and renters with a massive chip on their shoulder. In real life, never met anyone remotely bothered about that.

On the fence: antisocial and entitled neighbours as unpleasant as some posters claim to be. I know they exist, but thankfully have been spared and always had normal and civilised neighbours.

I don't answer the door if I don't know who it is. Especially at night. If it's important you will ring ahead/carry ID or text to say hey it's me. Seems a sensible security precaution to me after I had someone barge in a few years ago. I also get ill from perfumes and think that spraying them on public transport or other confined public spaces should be banned. Fabric conditioner is ok in general but strong smells give me migraine.

@Coldilox

Oh god yes, the mortal offence of getting a table before getting food. Everybody does this except MNers!

so true

and I am glad they do, it would be chaos if people were crowding the place holding trays of drinks threatening to spill everywhere until they find a seat!

Only on MN get people irate that someone reserves a supermarket slot with a bottle of something and add to their shopping basket later

Only on MN do people snap, fart and scream at famous work of art.

Another weird MN trait is the assumption that everyone must lead the sort of life you do.

To be fair, I think this is quite representative of the wider population. A lot of people really cannot see outside their own bubble.

Sorry I forgot to add one. Most people on here seem absolutely loaded with huge inheritances, massive houses, school fees, cleaners, exotic holidays etc. Most people I know live in an ordinary house, clean their own lav, qualify for TC/UC and save up for a long weekend in Skegness as a summer treat. And inherit enough to pay for the deceased's send off if they're "lucky".

No adult celebrate their birthday ever

Another one based on a thread i’ve just read

If your partner has kids they are his responsibility and you shouldn’t be expected to help out or be expected of much, however if you have kids then your partner should be helping you out in the house and costwise otherwise you need to LTB

And all money is family money. Might be the case for SAHM’s but i don’t know any working couple who have ‘family money’ - there is a joint account for house stuff and seperate accounts for yourself.

Expecting your loving husband to acknowledge your birthday by buying you gifts is grabby.

I also know no one who has epic dramas about sweets/plastic toys/kids going to bed 15 minutes late etc. Or neighbourhood disputes over wind chimes/trampolines/hedge clippings or whatever. Everyone in RL is much more relaxed.

Only on MN are people proud and boasting about being over-weight and over-eating ridiculous amount.

Anyone overweight I have ever met in real life is quite sheepish about it, and certainly not guffawing over the ridiculous portion sizes they MUST eat all day long.

“Did you mean to be so rude” is a witty comeback.

The sheer amount of high-earning-50-something not-yet-menopausal-size 8s

@Iknowwhatudidlastsummer I have the opposite perception about paid bars - only on MN have I encountered people who would be mortally offended if expected to pay for their own drinks at a wedding. In my entire life I have only ever been to one wedding with a free bar all night. It's totally the expectation among everyone I know in RL that meal & wine with meal is covered, after that it's a cash bar.

On a similar note only on MN have I come across this utterly bizarre assertion that if you are organising a meal out with friends/family, you have to pay for everyone!

"Howling at this thread"

Why don't you retrain and get a better paid job? ..In response to any minor work issues or financial difficulties on here as if it's that blooming easy or something you'd never thought of. It's well meant but still.

Also you've got to love the heath threads which start fairly calmly, Op has woken up feeling dizzy with a headache, gets some sensible suggestions but always by about page 3 all the posters are shouting to Phone an ambulance, you could die of internal bleeding! GET TO A AND E NOW!

[quote PopcornAndWine]@Iknowwhatudidlastsummer I have the opposite perception about paid bars - only on MN have I encountered people who would be mortally offended if expected to pay for their own drinks at a wedding. In my entire life I have only ever been to one wedding with a free bar all night. It's totally the expectation among everyone I know in RL that meal & wine with meal is covered, after that it's a cash bar.

On a similar note only on MN have I come across this utterly bizarre assertion that if you are organising a meal out with friends/family, you have to pay for everyone! [/quote]
I agree. I've never been to a wedding with a free bar either. Funerals yes, but then most people will only have one alcoholic drink.

The fabric softener debate is always won by the "scent haters".

Some poor poster who has a rare sensitivity to smells always comes on and explains they involuntarily vomit or are incapacitated by a migraine if they smell Lenor and we all have to admit we're inconsiderate arseholes for using it when people like this are suffering.