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Original poster

Smelly visitor

59 replies

sararh · 13/01/2021 13:01

Hi all, I have a close family member who frequently comes to visit (live alone and is 'bubbling' with us) who smells so, so bad. The smell is a sort of sour, strangely metallic sweaty smell that I've never smelt on anyone else and lingers in the air for hours after they leave and on furniture for days. I have put throws down so I don't have to wash the seat covers each time. Apart from opening windows and spraying some air freshener, I don't know what else to do. I don't expect there are any magic solutions, but if anyone does happen to have one, please share!!

OP posts:
peak2021 · 13/01/2021 14:38

Have they always been smelly? Or just recently? If the latter, could be a sign of a mental health issue.

It's not a nice thing to do but perhaps you need to say something. You may be taking mitigating action but others may just avoid them, especially post Covid.

WitchesNest · 13/01/2021 15:02

Do you have fabric sofas? Bad smells (especially B.O) can seep in and cling to them, had a similar issue with a family member and the one seat they’d always use on our sofa. Smell eventually stayed for good and no amount of washing got rid of it. We had to throw the sofa out

Youngatheart00 · 13/01/2021 15:05

Oh dear, I’d hate this! I’m mega sensitive to smells (good and bad) and know exactly what you mean about them lingering.

Not sure what to suggest re clearing the smell - aside from maybe have all windows open or see them outside (a la covid advice anyway) but what do you think is the cause? Poor hygiene? A dirty item of clothing (I always think leather jackets stink, for eg)?

goingtotown · 13/01/2021 15:08

Spraying Air freshener will make the smell worse.
You need to have a word if it’s personal hygiene.

Elouera · 13/01/2021 15:13

Is it new, or have they always smelt? Agree, it could be a sign of mental health, or just letting standards slip due to covid and lockdown and not washing as often, not using deoderant etc.

It could also be a sign of illness such as diabetes! Some people are more sensitive to pheramones and body odours. Could you have a private word with them?

statetrooperstacey · 13/01/2021 15:14

I had this, turned out one of my family members had a massive mkat habit. A really specific sort of musty yet sharp chemically BO smell, they sweated it out and it seeped into everything. I would try Candle melts, or simmer a small pan of water with some cloves or clove powder in it, ( I bet you have some 3 years out of date in the back of a cupboard🤣) wash their sheets/ towels etc separately on a hot wash with a bit of zoflora or similar in it. Double bag their shoes and leave outside the back door and try and persuade them into clean socks at yours. Good luck

Santaiscovidfree · 13/01/2021 15:17

Maybe bathing less due to bill worry? Lack of shopping /toiletries?

charliespie · 13/01/2021 15:20

At a guess they are bubbling with you as a support bubble. What support are you giving them? How long has it been going on? Do you offer day to day support or is it purely for visitation?

Cokie3 · 13/01/2021 15:30

@statetrooperstacey

I had this, turned out one of my family members had a massive mkat habit. A really specific sort of musty yet sharp chemically BO smell, they sweated it out and it seeped into everything. I would try Candle melts, or simmer a small pan of water with some cloves or clove powder in it, ( I bet you have some 3 years out of date in the back of a cupboard🤣) wash their sheets/ towels etc separately on a hot wash with a bit of zoflora or similar in it. Double bag their shoes and leave outside the back door and try and persuade them into clean socks at yours. Good luck
What is mkat?
Freaksandgeeks · 13/01/2021 15:36

You have to tell them. I’m sorry if it makes me sound harsh, but I couldn’t have anyone who smelt like that regularly come to my house. Just couldn’t.

Rainbowandscarlett · 13/01/2021 15:53

@cokie3 it’s a type of illegal drug

user1471538283 · 13/01/2021 17:13

I would be concerned about their mental health. Could you discuss things with them?

Aquamarine1029 · 13/01/2021 17:14

You need to say something. This is disgusting.

MrsFluffyMuff · 13/01/2021 17:18

I had this, turned out one of my family members had a massive mkat habit.

Me too, it was a close family member, the smell is absolutely unbearable!

Undies1990 · 13/01/2021 17:31

If it's not personal hygiene, it'll be drugs.

Lucieintheskye · 13/01/2021 17:32

If you don't feel able to directly say it, when they come in say 'oh gosh what's that smell? Have you stood in something?' and sniff around a bit. If they smell nothing, they're unaware. If they brush it off, they know it's them/suddenly realise others can smell it.

It may seem an obtuse way of doing it but it might get it addressed. If they brush it off or really can't smell anything, do the same the next time they visit, or make a big fuss about being sure there's an odd smell.

I had a neighbour who'd visit last year and she'd always have this metallic dairy smell about her? She either had no idea or didn't care until DH and I made a big fuss about how she must have stood in something. Next time she came round she didn't smell, and it had been going on for weeks.

This isn't the best option but if you really had to could you say you had some sort of cleaner on the sofa and ask them to sit on another chair? perhaps a dining chair wouldn't retain the smell as much.

Do they have greasy hair? Or unclean clothes? I wonder if it could be an incontinence issue?

Deathraystare · 13/01/2021 17:51

We had a visitor used to come in to see someone on the wards. He had a very very bad smell. The smell used to linger at least half an hour after he had left. A doctor found out he had leg ulcers (he was alcoholic). Oh god did we have to spray the place after he left. They ended up refusing him on the ward. They also tried to call an ambulance for him but he wasn't having it. Apparently he lived with his sister. He sounded just like John Cleese. He has died now.

user1471565182 · 13/01/2021 22:33

Im sure somebody told me that metallic smell can be serious illness.

user1471565182 · 13/01/2021 22:40

Sweet jesus some of the ulcers/abscesses I saw on junkies back in the day, Deathray. I know 3 seperate people have died from Sepsis/gangrene type stuff in 2 years because of them. It could be that I suppose but they would be in agony. One of these lot could fit a fist inside it (not sure why they tried)

MrsWildermac · 13/01/2021 22:40

This happened with someone I knew. I'm a MH nurse and regaled them with a long drawn out story of a 'patient' (fictitious) who smelt really bad and didn't realise that it was necessary and normal to wash daily and wash clothes regularly otherwise they would smell. Worked a treat and they never smelt bad again!

Larsingsong · 13/01/2021 22:44

After spending a few years previously working in a&e, a sweet kind of chemical smell was down to drug use.
I hope it isn't the case in your relative's situation, but that's what's sprung to mind.

whatsoccuringnow · 13/01/2021 22:49

Drug use was the first thing I thought of too

Purplethrow · 13/01/2021 22:50

How old are they op ? If elderly it could be an ulcer or bed sore .
Do they smoke cannabis? Do they look unkempt or unwell?

Catty1720 · 13/01/2021 22:57

Without wanting to cause any worry or stress of this so please don’t shoot me if this is a new thing just bare in mind my DP smelt just how you are describing after he had mild covid. It took about a month for him to smell nice again.

SunsetSenora · 13/01/2021 23:08

If they are at the point where the smell is so strong, I think the low key approach will not work. I have had to discuss this with several staff members over the years and it is always horrible. But the direct approach is better I think, as long as it is done in a kind way.

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