Smelly visitor

[sararh]

Hi all, I have a close family member who frequently comes to visit (live alone and is 'bubbling' with us) who smells so, so bad. The smell is a sort of sour, strangely metallic sweaty smell that I've never smelt on anyone else and lingers in the air for hours after they leave and on furniture for days. I have put throws down so I don't have to wash the seat covers each time. Apart from opening windows and spraying some air freshener, I don't know what else to do. I don't expect there are any magic solutions, but if anyone does happen to have one, please share!!

Are they diabetic? Uncontrolled blood sugar levels can cause a pear drop/nail varnish type smell.

Could it be the smell of not properly dried clothes?

That smell is then very difficult to get rid off as the bacteria stays in the materil.

My dh and 1 of my 4 kids have a strange metallic smell when they are sweaty after exercise. Luckily both of them wash daily so it isn't a problem, but it's a very distinctive smell. My dh has a rarish blood type, AB, and I often wonder if my metallic DS has inherited it, and that might be the cause.

Thanks all for the responses and suggestions. To answer a few common questions, it’s not a new thing, this person has smelt like this for years. They are overweight so diabetes might be a factor. I do also wonder about their hygiene as we’ve had conversations in the past where they’ve said they’ve never washed their bedding. I’m reluctant to say anything to them because they have a tendency to take things really seriously and could end up not coming again, or even worse withdrawing from society or something. It’s not really a risk I’m willing to take.

Thanks for the update OP. Do you ever visit THEIR home? Would it be possible to visit them, at their home. Possibly using the guise of dropping off food or something? Obvioulsy depending on the relationship and their age, offer to help with laundry, housework etc?

Hi @Elouera thanks for your message. I haven't been in a while, but when I last went the smell was there. It wasn't filthy to the eye, there wasn't a build up of rubbish or washing or anything and they live relatively minimally. They are a middle aged man living in a studio apartment. There are symptoms of depression (but they won't speak about anything 'feelings' related) but that's one of the reasons I won't mention the smell - don't want to make anything worse. I've sort of accepted it as part of this person's visits.

How did you respond when they said they NEVER washed their bedding?
That's pretty serious self-neglect.

You can get a plug in air purifier that will knock the smell down. Look for one that handles cigarette smoke and is the correct size for the room. It definitely needs a charcoal filter, in addition Hepa filters and uv sanitizer lights are good options

The lack of fresh bedding must surely be contributing to him smelling rank.

Ditto dirty clothes {Sweaty}
A library {Now demolished} we used to visit really Stank

It was unbearable. A vile, B.O smell.

I used to mention it to the staff, and they said ''Others have mentioned it too''

It had synthetic carpets, and I wonder if that made the smell worse?

The staff said they did get some smelly people in, but it really was awful, and no other library in the area smelled like it, and I'm sure ''smelly'' people went in those, too.

Unwashed jackets and coats can reek. Charity shops sometimes have the same rank odour, when people donate unwashed clothing.

Better quality charity shops don't have this issue.

Synthetic fabrics/shoes are especially odiferous.
{I have a very sensitive nose though}

not just Mkat... the smell from someone using heroin."having a burn"with increased dependency n not even attempting to hide that anymore mixed with the stench of deceipt n hot sweaty sleep,in so deep wakes up rattling...is pretty vile too

I was thinking incontinence

In case it helps smelling coffee resets your nose so if there’s a smell you feel is stuck with you it really helps. I had a job visiting places that would often smell awful and often found the smell was kind of stuck in my nose so even hours later it was still with me. Once I found out about coffee I kept some beans in my car and a quick sniff would neutralise the odour immediately.

@Twillow

How did you respond when they said they NEVER washed their bedding? That's pretty serious self-neglect.

I visited a chap years ago {Well paid but single} and en route to the bathroom I passed his bedroom...Duvet thrown back to show a Turin Shroud of grimy bedding, a brownish grey.

He clearly didn't wash his bedding.

Frowsty was a word Mum used to use..A great description of the look/aroma.

The chap had a washing machine and a dryer, but clearly didn't wash his sheets, pillow cases or duvet covers.

@WhoEatsPopTarts

In case it helps smelling coffee resets your nose so if there’s a smell you feel is stuck with you it really helps. I had a job visiting places that would often smell awful and often found the smell was kind of stuck in my nose so even hours later it was still with me. Once I found out about coffee I kept some beans in my car and a quick sniff would neutralise the odour immediately.

Wow! That's worth knowing.

A pomander filled with coffee beans.. :)

@Twillow

How did you respond when they said they NEVER washed their bedding? That's pretty serious self-neglect.

I'll have said something along the lines of: "Right... bedding does need washing though. Once a month at least, ideally once a fortnight." And they'll have said: "No, bedding doesn't need washing. It just needs to be aired." And I'll have changed the subject, because this person can't be wrong - they get very defensive and will bring up random internet articles from clearly disturbed people to support their point. And once they've said something they will never ever change their mind, even in light of new information.

@tolerable

not just Mkat... the smell from someone using heroin."having a burn"with increased dependency n not even attempting to hide that anymore mixed with the stench of deceipt n hot sweaty sleep,in so deep wakes up rattling...is pretty vile too

Indeed....... {I worked with substance abusers for a while, and people withdrawing from methadone/heroin smell is particularly bad. As if all the toxins are pumping out through the skin, with Adrenaline mixed in..But the person is so weak they don't have the physical strength for a wash.

Fear also smells similar.

There is often a smell associated with early stage Parkinsons, although in this case the not washing bedding may well explain it. You can simmer cinnamon to clear smells, if that helps.

Make or female?
What age?

Just read the full thread
Overweight and diabetic - that'll be it plus not being unhygienic
I worked with an overweight woman that smelt, bad breath, all around odour, was suffocating - big, round, hard looking stomach.
Another colleague said they recognised the symptoms as diabetes.

Whoever suggested mkat could be onto something- that makes you STINK.

But it is a very particular smell. Sort of hard to describe. So I'm not sure how easily it could be identified via a MN thread.

If the person is very overweight they could have a fungal type infection in their skin golds which is an accumulation of sweat and poor hygiene. Maybe he has a problem wiping properly after using the toilet ( can't reach around) or the metallic smell could be diabetes.

skin folds on the stomach skirt.

Can you send them some toiletries OP silent hint!

I think you're right OP and it will do no good to bring it up.

Instead I'd be focusing on anything that can help with their overall well-being and just try to encourage healthy eating etc... things like suggesting a subscription to a fruit and vegetables box, going out for walks together.

Does this person attend regular health appointments or have a key worker or similar? Could you ask them to help address it? They sound like they need help.
How do you feel about this person coming to you regularly? Do you do it out of love or duty? By not telling them you are enabling them to go about life not giving a shit about the impact of their behaviour. If they are so selfish they won’t have a wash for the person who they are close enough to to bubble with, then I’m not sure they deserve you.