Devastated our cat has died

[maybemove]

First of all, I know in these unprecedented times people are losing family members, and a lot of people think ‘just a cat’ but I’m honestly heartbroken. A close friend of mine recently lost a parent and the guilt I feel being this grief stricken over my wee furry friend in unreal, is this remotely normal?

She became ill on Xmas day and had to be put to sleep just a few days later, it was so quick.
My youngest dc has autism and other disabilities and I honestly have never seen anyone closer to an animal as my dd was. She hasn’t stopped crying since and it’s so hard.
I keep stretching my feet out at night to feel the weight of her little body and she’s just not there anymore.

Over the last 12 years she has been through every hard moment in our lives, her sweet little purring calming us through the worst times.

Someone tell me this gets easier, and how can I help dd through this too?

I'm so sorry. Lost one of mine recently and it really hurts.

I'm sorry for your loss, we lost our cat 2 months ago and although the pain is still there, it's more manageable. We miss him every single day.

OP. My beautiful lovely girl died in August after 15 years together. I absolutely get how awful it is.

I found just talking about your cat will help. I did a lovely photo board and then we set up a space for her ashes so she is always with us. I told my DS she was up in the sky always watching (and hoping for more food!)

Time is a good healer, your cat lived a good life and was happy and was truly thankful for all the love.

OP it is remotely normal. The pain will diminish. Try to remember all the good things, the amusement her antics will have brought, and the love she gave.

Sorry I cannot offer any practical suggestion to help your DD.

And I cried more when my girl went than I have ever done before, that is totally normal.

It's really normal to feel like this. Ours passed away in November, happily he'd only been unwell for a few days and he went to sleep on the rug in the dining room lead in the sun. I found him when I got home from work. He may have been 18, but he'd survived being run over twice and he conned us into thinking he was invincible.

I still miss him daily - and expect him to be waiting and yowling in the kitchen every morning when I go down. Even though I cursed it every day, I really hate the silence

Oh thank you all, I was honestly scared I’d be ripped apart posting this during these times ❤️

I can’t look at any photos yet, but a photo lard sounds like a lovely idea when I’m able to.

I know that time will help but it’s hard to imagine it getting any easier.

We never kept her ashes as I thought that would be more confusing for dd, now I’m wondering if that was the right choice.

I am so very sorry. It will get easier, as the loss becomes less raw and her absence more familiar, but it's very hard for you all right now, and especially in these times, when often we've been enjoying the solace and comfort of our animals even more than usual.

So very sorry. It's devastating - they become such a part of your family and your daily life and they leave a horribly painful hole, and having to make the decision to let them go is awful as well. I always think of it as taking on the pain and suffering so that they don't have to. it does get easier but it takes time. My heart goes out to your little girl, as well.

for you, OP; it's the downside of pet ownership.
In time you will smile when you think of her but it's too raw at the moment. 😥 Console yourself with the thought she had a lovely life with you.

Cats leave footprints on our hearts... 🐾🐾

I’m so sorry. We lost ours last year - v suddenly and unfairly. I’m still emotional when I think of him and I couldn’t talk about him without crying for ages. We got a big canvas of him in the kitchen so it feels like he’s still with us.

It does get easier, but it will always hurt a bit

I’m sorry, I lost mine over a year ago and it’s still fucking painful. You learn to live with it eventually.

Ps The Memory Tree book was really helpful for my DD to process old age and death. Neither me nor DH can read it without blubbing though!

We lost our 12yo girl relatively suddenly in September. She went downhill very quickly at the end and despite a lot of help from the vets we decided to do the last thing we could for her. We ended her suffering.

Tragically for me, my mum died very suddenly just a week later so I've never really had a chance to process the loss of the cat. It was completely overshadowed !!

I have printed off every photo we have of the and I'm going to put them into an album. We talk about her all the time and my kids are reassured that Nanny and kitty are together which is nice.

A few weeks ago we made the decision to take on a new little kitten (its been 3 months and whilst I'd have waited longer, fate intervened and we now have a 10 week old little guy terrorising us)

I felt like I'd never get to this stage, but the old cliché about time really is true.

Do not feel guilty about being grief stricken. Pets are part of our families and of course we grieve for them.

I am sorry you and your daughter are having a hard time. Can you discuss with your daughter about potentially getting another cat at some stage?

I've been through this a few times now and it honestly does get easier, hard to imagine right now but it really does. Try and think about all the happy memories you have of her, you did the kindest thing for her when she needed it 💕

I lost mine in March and steel feel the loss very much.

We lost one of our two sister tabbies last year she was 12
We still have her sister
The pain was horrendous and we miss her every day. I still talk to her and about her and say goodnight to her every night

We found it easier to just accept the pain and heartbreak over losing her.

Six months later I can say her name without crying but there are random moments when I go to feed the other three and call her name which makes me cry for a long time

Just take it as it comes for you all.
I’m so sorry for your loss and I know all too well what a massive hole these little creatures and companions leave behind.

I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s awful when you lose a pet. They are truly part of the family. I could still cry for our pets. When my beautiful Tom cat died I cried daily driving home from work for a few weeks, but it has gotten better with time. You will be able to cherish your memories and your cat’s unique personality 💐

I'm so sorry that you lost your beloved cat. My boy died last August at the age of 21 and I still miss him so much. Take comfort in knowing you provided your cat with a good home and lots of love x

Totally normally how you're feeling but also one of the worst feelings ever, it will get easier though, time is a healer and you will be able to look back and smile at memories rather than the raw heartbreak you're feeling now.

Oh you’re all so amazing, thank you. And so sorry many of you have been through this too.

I can’t tag people here for some reason.

I’ll look at the memory tree book thank you, and I’ll see about getting photos done when I’m able to look at them. I think half of my albums on my phone are of her. I do think helping dd to grieve will help me too as that’s one of the most painful things atm watching her suffering too, she’s barely slept since it happened. I thought about getting a little bracelet of something for her but didn’t know if that would make it worse.

I do think the timing as a pp has said is true, we have been shielding since the beginning so it’s literally been 24/7 cat snuggles, and the emotional attachment was stronger than ever.

I think guilt is a really big factor too, did I make all the right important decisions, could I have done anything differently, could I have said or done something with dd to make it easier on her too?

I like what pp has said about us taking on the suffering so they don’t have to, just wish I could take it all on for dd too.

At least she isn’t in pain any more, it was a really bleak outlook and the vet said we did the right thing. Her red blood count was down to 13 and she was in so much pain and weak, she hadn’t eaten for days and it was clear she was suffering. It was awful to watch but I suppose good in a way it was quick so she didn’t suffer too long.

Thank you all again, this is very comforting.

I'm so sorry for you and your family, such a tragic thing to go through, especially at this time of year.. sending hugs 💕

I massively suffered from guilt too. My girl went downhill so quickly. You did do all the right things. Please don't worry. Cats need us to make the decisions for them that they can't make and your love shines through so you would have made the right decision for her.

By the way I do have a little boy kitten sleeping near me right now. I also never thought I would be able but here we are.

So sorry for your loss. I love my two cats and can't imagine a time will come when they're not here ♥️