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Original poster

Tell me something that you wish that you'd experienced but haven't...

146 replies

Boobahs · 26/12/2020 22:58

Thinking about things that we’d hope to happen next year, but is there anything in life that you wish that you’d experienced but haven’t so far?

For me, I’ve never lived alone. I went from living with my parents, to living with a partner, then back to my parents when we split, then moved in with my DP and we now have 2 young children.

I've never experienced just having the physical space and time to do whatever I please, whenever I want to. I'm sure that lots of this has been romanticised in my head when I see programmes/films when people live in apartments on their own and obviously there's a flip side to it with loneliness, money worries, etc... so I know it's not all positive. I would never regret my life now, I just sometimes wonder if I missed out on a huge part of life that other people have experienced.

So tell me, is there anything that you wish you'd experienced but haven't?

OP posts:

Bearnecessity · 27/12/2020 22:35

Sci-fi....bless you....I cannot imagine this but my best friend at school lost her mum at the same age....so hard for a young such a critical age when a mum is needed.💐

For me I have never owned my home had a permanent secure happy job.I have never married altho' I do have a beautiful ds.I do have other things to be grateful for.

Bearnecessity · 27/12/2020 22:36

girl...that should read...my iPad is dodgy....

Blibbyblobby · 27/12/2020 22:42

Lived and worked abroad. I’d love to do it but DH won’t. I’ve had to turn down 3 serious offers so far. If we’d taken the first one we’d have EU passports now . Of course, at the time we did have EU passports and didn’t know they would be taken away a few years later

TotorosFurryBehind · 27/12/2020 22:57

Having a close female friend.

DuesToTheDirt · 27/12/2020 23:00

Living in London. I almost did twice - once had an interview but didn't get the job, and a couple of years later had a place on a course, but a job came up and I took that instead.

I'd have loved the buzz and the excitement, the museums and the markets. Even if I could move there now I wouldn't want to, I'm happy where I am, but I'd like to have done it when I was young.

LindaEllen · 27/12/2020 23:14

This will probably make me sound awful, but I wish I'd slept around more when I was younger. I got my first boyfriend (who I lost my virginity to) when I was 18, stayed with him for 6 years, and then got with my now-DP soon after. I know loads of people say this and turn out to be wrong, but I do think he's 'the one'. We've been together for a few years now, lived together for 3, and I can't imagine being without him.

Assuming we do stay together, I feel like I've missed out on a rite of passage, and that's dating and sleeping with other people. I don't know how many people most women sleep with, and I know I sound like a bit of a slapper saying I wished I'd slept with more .. but there we go!

Hathertonhariden · 28/12/2020 08:05

@BrowncoatWaffles

Flying on Concorde. I’m fascinated by the whole story of it and am genuinely sad that I’ll never get a chance to try.

I was lucky enough to do it and will never forget seeing the curvature of the earth. So special.

paranoiamumma · 28/12/2020 08:17

Being in love, I am married with children but we were young and rail roaded into getting married , we just stuck at it .. and we can't seem to do the right thing and move on.
My husband is way more content than I am with the situation .

Imissmoominmama · 28/12/2020 09:21

@LindaEllen- but many (not all!) people date and sleep with lots of people in their quest to find ‘the one’.

Sleeping around left me feeling a bit empty tbh. It’s not the same for everyone though.

surelynotnever · 28/12/2020 09:35

@LindaEllen

Feel happy that you missed out on lots of crap sex

surelynotnever · 28/12/2020 09:39

@HerRoyalNotness

To be successful at something. Whether that’s my job, a hobby, sport, anything. It must be amazing to have a sense of achievement. Perhaps it’s to be able to put my job first rather like men seem to do, and see how far I could go with it. Instead of now having nothing and supporting H in his career and be trapped by where he wants to be because of it. Lots of resentment there.

I completely understand where you are coming from. Of all the stories I hear of one in a couple putting themselves second for the others career - it is nearly always the women. If there is a disagreement on where the couple should live, in every case I know, it is the women who lives where the man wants.

On the other hand, if you want success at something, you are not dead yet. Pick something you want to do and then work at doing it. You sound battered down by life, but don't give up on yourself.

SpareRoom · 28/12/2020 09:48

Love.

BlueBrush · 28/12/2020 09:48

Fantastic thread, OP. I'm finding myself nodding at quite a few answers! It's interesting to reflect on this, and sort out in my own head

the things that can't be experienced anymore
the things that can't be experienced, but don't matter
the things that could still be experienced

I'm going to throw in for myself that I wish I had experienced being able to dance well, and to enjoy using my body in that way. Any dance would do. I suppose I could still learn, but I'm a bit of a middle-aged jiggly lump, and I'm not sure my knees are up to it!

Youngatheart00 · 28/12/2020 09:49

Pregnancy and birth. Not feeling the pain of infertility for another long year

SpareRoom · 28/12/2020 09:52

BlueBrush

You could try Lindy Hop. Pre-covid (and will presumably be the same afterwards) there were loads of Lindy Hop classes all over the country. It's a really social scene with dance festivals, weekends away here and abroad. It's great.

In my class, the youngest was 14 and the eldest 82. It caters for everyone.

2021hopes · 28/12/2020 09:52

Living abroad when I was younger and without responsibilities so I could really explore and experience the country.

LadyCatStark · 28/12/2020 09:56

I’d like to move abroad to a hot country.

BlueBrush · 28/12/2020 10:16

Aw thanks @SpareRoom! Maybe there's life in me yet!

HigherFurtherFasterBaby · 28/12/2020 10:34

University without children in tow. I'm a mature Microbiology student with 3DC, single parent.

Not the drinking side. I'd like to join societies, clubs, sports clubs etc. I can't.

BearSoFair · 28/12/2020 10:40

Living in another country. I think about it quite often, realise it's just not practical for us now we have DC and MIL needing more support, get a bit sad, try to forget about it...then repeat a couple of years down the line! Especially sad this time around because of Brexit.

DuesToTheDirt · 28/12/2020 11:33

I've done a few of the things on people's wish lists. I lived abroad when I was young and single, so much easier to do it then. It was sometimes tough but also amazing.

Someone mentioned opium - I did this once, but it had no effect except to make me throw up. Perhaps you need to get used to it.

Things I wish I'd done - interrailing and teenage sex! And I've been backpacking but for family reasons returned earlier than I'd have liked. I'd have loved to do more.

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