Tell me something that you wish that you'd experienced but haven't...

[Boobahs]

Thinking about things that we’d hope to happen next year, but is there anything in life that you wish that you’d experienced but haven’t so far?

For me, I’ve never lived alone. I went from living with my parents, to living with a partner, then back to my parents when we split, then moved in with my DP and we now have 2 young children.

I've never experienced just having the physical space and time to do whatever I please, whenever I want to. I'm sure that lots of this has been romanticised in my head when I see programmes/films when people live in apartments on their own and obviously there's a flip side to it with loneliness, money worries, etc... so I know it's not all positive. I would never regret my life now, I just sometimes wonder if I missed out on a huge part of life that other people have experienced.

So tell me, is there anything that you wish you'd experienced but haven't?

I wish I could have gone to uni and became a midwife. Uni never really appealed to 18yo me and I failed to get into the one midwifery course I applied for so I gave up and got a job instead.

I wish I could have seen Queen in concert I was born too late to see them.

Would love to experience being in a loving relationship again following a painfully isolating marriage and divorce. Been on my own for so long that I don’t feel I have anything to offer anyone and that my relationship skills have atrophied to mon-existence. Being with someone would be lovely but I don’t see it in my future, sadly.

@RandomMess

Unconditional parental love and supportive.

It must be amazing to have that.

This would be mine desire as well. Must be very freeing to know that there is someone who loves you unconditionally. That there is always someone there for you. I will never treat my children the way I was treated

Travelling outside of Europe - did Interrail but wish I had gone further afield.

Started trying to conceive earlier - took over 4 years & I was too old for a third child.

A healthy, happy and supportive relationship. My longest has been a year and it wasn’t healthy or supportive, the rest toxic flings of a few months. Like a PP I’ve no idea how people find partners so easily that don’t bail after a few months.

I live alone and I love it - it’s the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. While I do want a relationship, I’m unsure if I’d ever want to live with someone full time.

I've never had my own bedroom. Always shared with my sister and then DH when we moved in together.

Agree with PP - a fulfilling job.

I've had a tonne of jobs over the years - I've hated every one. To wake up and look forward to the working day : that would be incredible.

A good childhood. My was full of parents dramas, neglect and abuse.
My father was a horrible bastard and my mother enabled him.

I used to marvel at my friends dads, loving and involved.

Genuine parental love. By the time I was an adult, both of my parents had chosen to walk away from me and I’ve spent many years feeling unworthy of love —and choosing crap men— as a result.

Being happily married. I divorced 5 years ago and have finally met my soulmate but he doesn’t want to remarry so partner is as close as it will get. He’s worth the compromise though.

[quote HerBigChance]@Joeblack066 thank you! I have lots of other things in life that I'm very grateful for, but it would be nice to be in a good relationship too.[/quote]
That’s also me! Have a wonderful family and a job I love but would like a good, loving relationship. I’m fine on my own but it would be nice... 💜

Pregnancy.

Having a book completed and published.

Hangliding

Going to a pow wow.

Rio Carnival

Proper happiness and joy.

Never had it. I've had fleeting moments where I know I should have felt it (when my babies have first smiled at me). But my life is just so relentlessly shit that there has always been something awful or a situation happening out of my control affecting my life that I'm always dragged down. Even as a child life was just fucking terrible.

I would just love to know what happiness feels like.

Okay, I’ve not RTFT but I was on a Reddit true crime board where this was being discussed and someone linked to the below article about someone who was potentially wrongfully killed. It’s a long read and a great read - it’s the New Yorker. Goes into deep research about the evidence used to convict. It’s excellent and thought provoking.

www.newyorker.com/magazine/2009/09/07/trial-by-fire

Argh wrong thread!!! I’m so sorry!

meeting the right man, having babies. it could happen but no sign yet.

I'd love to experience a time when I feel I'm healthy and well. The relief would be amazing.
I live with healthy anxiety.

I'd also love to have a job where I occasionally work away and can stay in hotels and dine alone in nice restaurants all expenses paid.

I wish I had experienced a girlie holiday.

I regret not travelling and living abroad. I never wanted to emigrate but I'd love to experience a year or two in the US/Canada/Australia/NZ.

Backpacking around the world! Realistically I like nice hotel rooms and hate being tired and stressed or making stuff up on the fly, so it's probably for a good reason but part of me just really wishes I'd thrown caution to the wind and used up a bit of my inheritance (which was my house deposit) and travelled in my teens/early twenties.
I also know when I was the age I was far too unsure of myself to have enjoyed it. Now, however...

@catpoooffender

I wish I could have experienced giving birth vaginally, or at least feeling contractions. I was induced due to pre-eclampsia and having heard hideous things about the drip I had an epidural first. Then ended up having an emcs. We are unlikely to have another DC.

I was going to say the same! Not knocking mothers who have given birth by C-section, but I would have liked to have been able to give birth vaginally.

I’ve never tried on a wedding dress.

I’ve never regretted anything about our tiny registry office - all the bits were very “us” and I did wear something nice (literally looked for about 4 months) and I feel like I looked like a nice version of myself. I wouldn’t want to wear a big white wedding dress and do the whole big thing BUT I would like to know what I’d look like in a traditional wedding dress.

I'm another one for working and living abroad. I was too scared/shy/didn't know how to get started when younger so I never did it. It seemed impossible. Now I look back on my life in my city of birth working the same job for a million years, and think god how boring!

I sometimes think I'd like to have a "near death experience" and return full of indescribable love for all things.

Also, have self belief and go for things instead of procrastinating and thinking I don't deserve things or "I can't do that".

@digthroughtheditches

A fulfilling job in passionate about. Do they even exist?

They do, but they pay like shit. You can either have a job you love and be broke, or a job that you don't care about but pays the bills. In my experience, it's damn near impossible to find a combination of those two. I say that as someone who went from a well-paying boring job to my passion. for the latter, I loved it, every day was amazing, never felt like work, but paid garbage. Looking to change industries

@FlyNow

I'm another one for working and living abroad. I was too scared/shy/didn't know how to get started when younger so I never did it. It seemed impossible. Now I look back on my life in my city of birth working the same job for a million years, and think god how boring!

Same here @FlyNow - I'm not from a wealthy background and I'd have needed to borrow the money for flights and to cover rent and bills etc. for the first few weeks until I got settled with a job. I was scared at the prospect of borrowing such a big sum of money and then if things didn't work out, not being able to pay it back.