5 year olds reaction to present, what do you think?

[Icantrememebrtheartist]

My DD has been so excited about Christmas, she’s 5.

She wrote her wish list for Santa about a month ago and we bought several things she wanted plus some surprises that we thought she would like.

She opened her presents and told us she didn’t get anything she wanted and hates all her presents.

At school they did an activity called ‘what’s in Santa’s sack?’ and they were given pages of toys to cut out and stick (think Argos/Smyths catalogue) since then she told us she knew what she was getting for Christmas because she did her list at school! 3 pages of toys for that activity!! There was a bike, karaoke machine, gadgets, expensive LOL camper van, barbie stuff etc, about £600 worth of toys!! Obviously we explained that wasn’t her list but she insisted it was so we explained she wouldn’t get all that stuff.

She wanted an arts and crafts set, she got one, but apparently it wasn’t as big as the one she wanted, she wanted make up (we bought a little age appropriate set) it wasn’t as good as the one she wanted,

I’m so shocked at how ungrateful she’s been I feel really upset. I’m upset she’s so disappointed. And really annoyed at the bloody school activity.

Is this behaviour/attitude normal at 5?

Glad the dds' teachers in the early years of primary had years of experience and wouldn't have done such a thoughtless activity!

@Itgetsthehoseagain

Don't let her see that you're upset. That will give her a sense of power that you'll spend the teenage years trying to undo. I'd pack all her presents up and tell her they'll go to a charity if she doesn't want them. Tough love now could save you a future of entitled, brattish behaviour.

Sometimes I read posts on here and feel so sad for the children whose parents seem to see them as some sort of manipulative arch enemy who must be ruthlessly suppressed at all costs even before they have actually done anything that wrong.

This is why I disagree with the concept that Father Christmas brings ALL the presents. A child should know that mum and dad give some and therefore that budget is a reality, and that being ungrateful and rude might be upsetting. She'd be upset if you didn't like whatever she gave you and she should be gently reminded that feelings work both ways. I'd just try and forget it this year OP, but maybe next year try things differently.

Yeah it’s pretty normal.
Our school let them make stockings, which we then had to buy “voluntary contribution”. My DD came home buzzing because the teacher told them Santa would fill it up for them. A. It was the size of a sack. B. My DD already has a stocking. Tears and confusion when I said Santa wasn’t “filling” either of them and she couldn’t put out both.
Fun times.

The school activity is a red herring

I disagree. I think it was a really bad idea for school to go that silly activity. Not all parents can afford lots of gifts.

I’ve heard about other schools doing this. What a terrible idea. Do have a calm word with the school and suggest they don’t do this activity next year. I don’t agree with writing lists for Santa either. Why would you ask a 5 year old to write a list of stuff they want, so they really visualise and think about each item, and then expect them not to mind about not getting them all. A lot of them probably think of them as order sheets. Very confusing

Well we're not born grateful, appreciative, and with a sense of perspective.
Its something we acquire as we grow up.
She's 5, probably over tired and over exited.
It doesn't mean she will still be like that when she is 30!

Use it as a gentle teaching moment without making a huge deal out of it, then let it drop.
Have a break from opening presents and do something else to "reset".
She will probably then decide she likes them after all!

Watch the Christmas hey Duggee!

Has a very overworked Santa, stressed about increasingly complicated present demands. Might be good for empathy...?

My eldest did this i calmly said okay collected all the gifts she hated back up and said she could play with her usual toys I could easily find a home for all the toys she "hated" everyone flipped out at me my daughter said wait maybe I dont HATE them maybe I just need to try them (quoting me and one of out many conversations about new food 🤔)she soon loved them my mom went apocalyptic at me over it I said my kid my rules and I know my kid she was a deep thinker though she always required special handling over things coming into the house she got used to it eventually she still hates getting rid of anything at age 20

Always a stupid idea for schools to do activities like that. Unfortunately she expected to get the same stuff as she had put on her list. My kids are told to put 5 or 6 things on their list that they want one big/present, the rest medium or small presents, so the do get everything on their list.
I can see why she's disappointed to be honest. She's only 5.

Erm it's not normal. My 5 year old and no other 5 year olds I know behave this way? I'm
Not sure though other than dishing out some tough love like binning/donating what she's said she doesn't like how you are going to nip this in the bud x

Ds once tearfully told me it was the worst Xmas ever.
Why?
I hadn't let him take his lego star wars thing to bed, in case he broke it. I was absolutely gutted, but I think he was just overwhelmed. And Xmas day is never as good as you think it's going to be, but as a kid, that's hard to articulate. I still remember that flat feeling after all the presents were opened. As an adult, dh and me have never done Xmas presents for each other and that suits me fine.

That particular school activity is a standard Christmas activity that tonnes of kids do every year

Eh? I worked for years in KS1 over a few different schools and this activity never came up in any of them. No KS1 teacher I worked with would have done this.
It just opens up a whole can of worms (as seen in this OP) and especially if you are working with children in deprived areas or mixed areas where some children might end up receiving a lot and others nothing at all.
Absolutely ridiculous activity which raises the children's expectations and can only lead to disappointment

Tact and pretending to like something is a skill you acquire.

How many adults are disappointed with gifts, especially if they are close to what they asked for rather than being the exact one.

@MeepleMe

This is why I disagree with the concept that Father Christmas brings ALL the presents. A child should know that mum and dad give some and therefore that budget is a reality, and that being ungrateful and rude might be upsetting. She'd be upset if you didn't like whatever she gave you and she should be gently reminded that feelings work both ways. I'd just try and forget it this year OP, but maybe next year try things differently.

You’re right. With mine the stocking came from Father Christmas and everything else was clearly labelled from the giver of the present. If they’re fed Santa magic and thinks he brings all the presents they’re bound to think his largesse is infinite.

Jesus! Our 7 yo loves all his toys, didn't have a Christmas list and is happy with just the surprise of Christmas. He didn't have a list or some silly exercise like this at school though. His toys were nice, but nothing spectacular. I'm quite shocked at the materialism.

I remember when dd did that activity at school. I was horrified. We were homeless at the time and I just told het she wasn’t getting it. Did get some nice things from a charity, but it just adds to the general shitty pressure on parents.

I find this school activity rather horrible.

Especially for children who may not be visited by Santa /won't get presents.

Aghast that school did this activity. Aside from being horribly materialistic, it didn’t take into account what a tough year financially it’s been. My DS has never experienced this in school or nursery. I think the expectations after this activity were not met, hence the anger.

We all manage our children's expectations unless we are Elton John or David Beckham. (Only guessing - maybe they do too) but most people have the common sense not to start showing kids amazing present ideas and encourage them to add them to a wish list activity on a stocking, only for them to find out on the day they can't have them. If I did this activity with my niece and nephew I'd expect my sister to be rolling her eyes!

I don't think a reality check at any age is a bad thing. She has now learned that just because she makes a list of 100 things doesn't mean she'll get them all. That's an ok lesson to learn IMO altohugh not the best thought through school activity.

Blame Santa. Tell her it's very different this year for many children as Santa couldn't carry all his presents across the borders because of the control check.

I find this school activity rather horrible.

Especially for children who may not be visited by Santa /won't get presents.

I would complain about it. Hate also when teachers ask questions about future or past holidays etc.

My kids have never acted like that, but then again the school would never of done such a ridiculous active with them either

DD tore through her presents today as if they were nothing and then went searching for more.

She was just totally high on the anticipation. Over the day she’s really settled down and started actually playing with things and saying thank you to people.

I don’t think it’s unusual for them to get overwhelmed. The anticipation is the entire thing for kids (and a lot of adults). Somehow the presents always look less amazing when unwrapped.