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Original poster

5 year olds reaction to present, what do you think?

128 replies

Icantrememebrtheartist · 25/12/2020 14:37

My DD has been so excited about Christmas, she’s 5.

She wrote her wish list for Santa about a month ago and we bought several things she wanted plus some surprises that we thought she would like.

She opened her presents and told us she didn’t get anything she wanted and hates all her presents.

At school they did an activity called ‘what’s in Santa’s sack?’ and they were given pages of toys to cut out and stick (think Argos/Smyths catalogue) since then she told us she knew what she was getting for Christmas because she did her list at school! 3 pages of toys for that activity!! There was a bike, karaoke machine, gadgets, expensive LOL camper van, barbie stuff etc, about £600 worth of toys!! Obviously we explained that wasn’t her list but she insisted it was so we explained she wouldn’t get all that stuff.

She wanted an arts and crafts set, she got one, but apparently it wasn’t as big as the one she wanted, she wanted make up (we bought a little age appropriate set) it wasn’t as good as the one she wanted,

I’m so shocked at how ungrateful she’s been I feel really upset. I’m upset she’s so disappointed. And really annoyed at the bloody school activity.

Is this behaviour/attitude normal at 5?

OP posts:

PaperStar · 25/12/2020 16:22

FFS. We've reached new depths when a child's reaction to their christmas presents is the school's fault 🤣 is there anything some people won't blame teachers for?

My favourite pre Christmas activity as a child was writing an extensive list and covering the contents of the toy section of the argos catalogue!

As a parent, it's your role to manage their expectations before the day.

I always used to tell mine that they would get some of the things on their list but not everything and they would also get some things they didn't ask for too.

PaperStar · 25/12/2020 16:23

*coveting

LuckyAmy1986 · 25/12/2020 16:24

It has been a tough year for kids and I wouldn't come down that hard on her but I have to say my DD would never have said she hates her presents. I do think you need to be lovingly firm with her that she's lucky to be getting things and that isn't on

Agree with this. I'm not surprised you are upset, I would be too.

Interested in this thread?

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Behaviour & development Christmas Families

Passmeabottlemrjones · 25/12/2020 16:30

@PaperStar

FFS. We've reached new depths when a child's reaction to their christmas presents is the school's fault 🤣 is there anything some people won't blame teachers for?

My favourite pre Christmas activity as a child was writing an extensive list and covering the contents of the toy section of the argos catalogue!

As a parent, it's your role to manage their expectations before the day.

I always used to tell mine that they would get some of the things on their list but not everything and they would also get some things they didn't ask for too.

This.

DontStopThinkingAboutTomorrow · 25/12/2020 16:40

Santa only ever brought one present in our house, a minor one. Mum and dad and other people brought the rest.

I8toys · 25/12/2020 16:45

I've never experienced this and my kids are 15 and 17. We did the argos calendar and sticking activity for santa's letter but said they will not get everything they put on it as its just a wish list and not a definite list. I find this really sad tbh. I think we do need to manage their expectations.

MintyMabel · 25/12/2020 16:49

When DD was about 4, she opened a present and made a face, said she didn’t like it. She was told if she did that again, they would all go away. She’s 11 now and even faced with the bizarre gifts family can buy sometimes, she finds something nice to say and moves on.

thebearschairs · 25/12/2020 16:51

I made my 11 yo cry and strop off twice with my presents.

Full on tantrums. Clearly not about presents but fuck my life i felt awful.

Child a little sheepish now and I let it go so the say could be vaguely ok but still.

lachy · 25/12/2020 16:52

DD is nearly 5. She's exhausted from her first term at school, she's in a very strange covid world, Christmas has been building up for weeks and
her whole world is different.

She's had a lovely day, but has had her moments of being a right little monster, including asking why she didn't have anymore presents!

I8toys · 25/12/2020 16:53

I got an image of Dudley from Harry Potter then.

MintyMabel · 25/12/2020 16:55

That particular school activity is a standard Christmas activity that tonnes of kids do every year

This really surprises me. There have to be a whole lot of kids in schools who can never even dream of getting the kinds of gifts they cut out of a catalogue. Reinforcing the message that it is all about putting expensive gifts on a list and a magical fat man will bring them seems a bit off.

DD’s school have never done it.

Deadringer · 25/12/2020 16:58

She is only 5. Somehow she had got the idea that all her dreams would come true and her every wish would be granted this Christmas. It is just a misunderstanding on her part, and she hasn't learned yet to manage her expectations or her inevitable disappointment. I think you have handled it well, she will get over this, she will enjoy what she got once she calms down a bit, and she will understand better next year.

redevening · 25/12/2020 17:00

@Pomegranatemolasses

Op that was a ridiculous activity for the school to do, and your little girl is just overwhelmed by Christmas! It will all be fine.

I agree with this. Its different from flicking through an Argos calendar (which I used to do each year with Bryan Mills catalogue as a child!). It being at school must have made her think it had 'authority' and was what she should expect to have. She's only 5. Its difficult for her to understand the difference between reality and fantasy.

PaperStar · 25/12/2020 17:04

If OP's daughter is in Reception, cutting and sticking activities form a large part of what they do to show their understanding when they lack the writing skills to express it any other way and to develop their fine motor skills, concentrations, sorting and also to understand they theybhavebthwir own thoughts, wishes and desires and that other people have different preferences to them.

Activities are themed and, given that most schools will have had christmas themed activities last week, it makes sense.

Schools also kind of expect parents to do the parenting role of child development of which individual expectation management is part.

It's also why most parents buy their children presents and send them to Father Christmas for safe keeping/delivery rather than telling their children that a magical fat man will bring them everything their heart desires.

Beautifulbonnie · 25/12/2020 17:05

I think the school were dreadful. What about low income families? Oh gosh

My friend tells her kids that santa gets given money from the parents. So that some kids get loads. Some don’t.

But I think she does gently need explaining that she doesn’t always get what she wants

However it s a big day. She’ll come to love them. Hopefully

PaperStar · 25/12/2020 17:06

Put it this way, if you get children to cut and stick pictures of healthy/their favourite foods on a plate, they don't expect that to be what they are getting for dinner that night!

Hollyhockey · 25/12/2020 17:06

I think this is quite normal though I admit I was shocked when my then 4-year old behaved similarly at Christmas a few years back. She had not done any Argos sticking activities. I agree with other posters - there’s so much unavoidable hype, they believe all their dreams will come true. Bound to lead to disappointment and bad behaviour.
Now at 8 she’s extremely grateful, polite and loves giving presents more than receiving. My now 5-yr old on the other hand is going through the ungrateful stage!

Theotherrudolph · 25/12/2020 17:11

Given paper catalogues are rapidly dying out (quite right too), what will schools do instead?!

OP one of mine finished off unwrapping this morning then immediately announced they want x and y for their birthday. I laughed and told them to go and play. Don’t take the utterings of small children to heart.

PaperStar · 25/12/2020 17:14

Given paper catalogues are rapidly dying out (quite right too), what will schools do instead?!

Print photos from the internet as they do for every cutting and sticking activity that doesn't use catalogues?

nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 25/12/2020 17:16

When we were little if we were rude about a gift or said it was crap, we were made to put it in the bin and there it stayed. We learned very quickly that bratty, entitled strops got us nowhere but presentless. If we were rude and ungrateful to the givers face we also got our backsides slapped for good measure.

Obviously times have moved on but our family have continued the 'if its that crap, then it goes in the bin' method and it seems to be working as pretty much all the kids (save for two who are not neurotypical and don't really do social skills) are at least polite about gifts that slightly miss the mark.

Itgetsthehoseagain · 25/12/2020 17:17

Don't let her see that you're upset. That will give her a sense of power that you'll spend the teenage years trying to undo. I'd pack all her presents up and tell her they'll go to a charity if she doesn't want them. Tough love now could save you a future of entitled, brattish behaviour.

VashtaNerada · 25/12/2020 17:21

As she’s so little I’d cut her some slack. She’s hardly Dudley Dursley! She’ll get over it, she obviously misunderstood the task at school and then was (understandably) surprised that her presents weren’t what she was expecting. I remember DD being a brat on her sixth birthday. It really was quite out of character and she was dreadful! Openly telling me her party was rubbish when it was the most expensive party I’ve ever thrown. She never acted like that before or since, I think she was just overwhelmed with emotion.

HmmSureJan · 25/12/2020 17:22

My children were unable to hide their disappointment in presents at that age. It didn't help that their grandparents - both sets - were keen on buying stuff they thought kids should like, not what they actually liked. We had many conversations about being grateful even if you didn't really feel it. I well remember ds getting something he didn't like and immediately swinging round to glare absolute daggers at me while saying "thank you so much Grandma" . It couldn't have been more obvious that he hated it but he had at least said the right thing 🤷🏼‍♀️

IMNOTSHOUTING · 25/12/2020 17:24

Quite normal at 5, even if you explain it to them they really don't understand that people have to work to provide them things, they're bombarded with advertisements, riled up about presents at Christmas. It's natural they get unrealistic expectations. Kids also have different personalities. DS has always been so agreeable with gifts, he loves even really odd gifts he's been given by relatives (think plain adult socks) so would never moan about his stocking. DD is always fixated on the one thing she didn't get or the gift that would have been better than the one she got. She's a nice child in general though.

I still remember one of my nephews when he was 5 having the biggest tantrum ever because he was given a hand knitted jumper for Christmas. His parents were absolutely mortified (he was opening it in front of the great aunt who had knitted the jumper). He's a very sweet 9 year old now.

eddiemairswife · 25/12/2020 17:28

How did this expectation that wishes would become reality arise? Surely even young children can understand that 'I would like' doesn't equate to 'I will get'.

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