Ever embarrassed yourself at hospital?

[QueenPaws]

Come and share while I recover with my Costa coffee
So I go for an ultrasound today, water drunk, mask and sanitiser. There's no traffic so I'm feeling all smug
Get in there and undo my jeans waistband to reveal I am wearing these
Me "oh ffs"
Staff howling

That's hilarious! (Sorry)!

They are awesome - where can I get some?

I went for a scan - put on the delightful backless gown and there was a problem with the machine so I had to siddle along the corridor with my arse facing the wall in knee length boots and gown to a different room.
It was only 50 yards down the corridor but it felt like a much longer distance

Well at least you caused some laughter.

I shouted so loudly whilst giving birth that even at the time I thought the whole maternity unit must be able to hear me.

oh that's brilliant!

I had to take Dd to A&E when she was 5. She was complaining of stomach pain and passed a stool with blood in.

I turned up in A&E with the shit in a Tupperware box (I panicked and thought they might need to test it).

I whipped it out. The doctor looked at me like I was mental abs said, "why didn't you just take a photo?"

Turns out I don’t tolerate codeine well and only found this out when I broke my ankle and started stroking the arm of the nurse helping me. She added it to my notes that I should probably be given something else

Lots of times. Sadly always in my capacity as a member of an allegedly responsible profession

I ran away from a consultant obstetrician whilst pregnant. If that wasn't bad enough, she chased me. Every appointment after that she locked the door to "slow me down". I'm still mortified thinking about it.

WankPuffins I did similar with a huge blood clot post natally which I carefully saved and presented to the midwife. I really thought she would need to see it. She looked absolutely disgusted when I proudly presented it to her and advised me to go and flush it away. She said she would have been quite happy to accept just a description. I was mortified.

I punched and knocked the doctor clean out when i was giving birth to my eldest

My sister did a poo instead of a wee in a sample pot!

Amazing pants. I want some

Funny about taking in unneeded samples. When I was pregnant I passed a peice of flesh. I thought it may be abit of the umbilical cord. The GP asked me to bring it into surgery, which I did in a shot glass wrapped in kitchen roll. Daughter born safe and well. Glad to hear photos are enough these days!

I pooed on my DP's leg while giving birth/pushing just prior (I know that pooing is normal, just didn't think it'd be on someone).

Off my tits on gas and air during and incredibly painful back to back labour, anaesthetic doc was setting up his stuff to put in an epidural and I locked eyes with the ODP (specially trained staff who practice in anaesthetic and theatres) and told her ‘thank fuck you’re here to keep an eye on him, doctors bloody kill people!’
I did tell him I loved him once the epidural was working!

Not in the UK, I was given a thermometre, popped it under my tongue - they go in the armpit here

DH still laughs everytime one of us goes near a thermometre!

Oh and I farted up the forearm of a midwife during an internal, a proper arsed clapper of a fart.
And when I was a student nurse I stopped a bedpan full of piss in the middle of the ward. Went everywhere 😂

Oh I'm feeling better
They're the zero waste rude ones from here. Not sponsored I just liked the idea of zero waste plus they're the comfiest things ever
At least I wasn't wearing the pair with vibrators on
https://www.bearandmonster.co.uk/grown-ups

@WankPuffins

oh that's brilliant!

I had to take Dd to A&E when she was 5. She was complaining of stomach pain and passed a stool with blood in.

I turned up in A&E with the shit in a Tupperware box (I panicked and thought they might need to test it).

I whipped it out. The doctor looked at me like I was mental abs said, "why didn't you just take a photo?"

I think that's a sensible thing to do, to be honest!

Had quite a few early pregnancy scans when pregnant last year, they were all internal so I had another scan a few days later and assumed it would be internal again and started pulling my trousers and pants down.

The very scared male sonographer said he'd be trying an abdominal scan first and to please get dressed 😁

To add to my tale of woe today, the abdo ultrasound didn't work as my womb tilts. So they went for internal, and my ovaries decided to run off. Then they went and got a wedge cushion. That didn't work. So 15 mins later I've got my fists under my bum, a wedge cushion and my left leg up for her to finally find my bloody ovary

@QueenPaws I go through a similar rigmarole during my smear test! Fun isn’t it.

I am also quite embarrassed by the time when I was quite ill in hospital with a bad kidney infection and delirious. I thought I was being attacked by bats coming at me from the corners of the room and was flailing my arms around trying to get them off.

After a while I realised it was only happening when I was dropping off to sleep

After a while longer I realised that was because the 'bats' were actually my eyelashes

Had an attractive doctor see me in ED to check me out, he scooted in really close. I, trying to diffuse the tension with humour, cracked a joke that I subsequently laughed at (alone) then realised I had run out of air during my guffaws and panicked. I tried to take in some air quickly and ended up snorting in the doctors face.

When ds2 was Almost two he fell and cut his forehead open I could tell it needed stitches and I'm really carp around blood, I faint so called and got a ambulance, they stitched him up, and the nurse sat him on my knee and said we could go, and then the world went black. Some up to a room full of people, I was in a strecther, ds2 crying. Had to stay in for a few hours to check I didn't faint again.

My waters broke all over maternity reception