Ever embarrassed yourself at hospital?

[QueenPaws]

Come and share while I recover with my Costa coffee
So I go for an ultrasound today, water drunk, mask and sanitiser. There's no traffic so I'm feeling all smug
Get in there and undo my jeans waistband to reveal I am wearing these
Me "oh ffs"
Staff howling

When I was giving birth to DS2 the midwife decided to examine me to see how far dilated I was. Unfortunately she did so just as my waters went. Poor woman got a faceful

Sprayed wee like a skunk all over my partner and midwife. Don't push on a full bladder ladies

Well I shit myself giving birth 🤷‍♀️

When I had DC 1 they were still doing Sunday tours of the maternity unit, it's now changed to an online video. They had to cut short the showing of a delivery room as my screams echoing down the corridor were distressing a few of the women. I screamed so loud I had a sore throat for days after.

When I was in postnatal with dd2 I had swallowed a lot of gas and air the night before had ridiculous wind. At one point I was napping, woke myself up a horrendously loud one. It was so loud it was heard across the ward. The lady in the bed opposite asked her partner if it was him is disgust. They then concluded it was their newborn in the cot at the foot of her bed. They even told the midwife about the giant fart the tiny thing had made. I kept quiet.

After a liver transplant dsis developed a large lump in her groin area. “Don’t look at me,” her consultant said, “it’s an obs and gyne job. And I skipped all my obs and gyne lectures at med school.” So, obs and gyne were called, and began to inspect lump. He leant in, and carefully touched lump. In a moment that would have excited Sporner Corner immensely, lump exploded and pus hit his face.

I once had a smear and there was a trainee who apparently wouldn't be observing the procedure, just the processes. The nurse doing the smear then started tellyne that my cervix was really very interesting and could the trainee please have a look. I kinda wished they had just let her look in the first place. I didn't know mine was interesting, I assumed everyone's was like that and text books were just wrong!

Was in hospital after having DD, next day packing to go home. I had pulled curtains around bed as I had got changed, kneeling on floor clearing cupboard and felt the urge to pass wind. I let rip the most enormous foul smelling fart known to man( don't know why I thought the curtain would muffle the sound) got up to see midwife and HCA standing there waiting to speak to me. I was mortified.

I was pretty embarrassed when I went for a scan on my ovaries looking for cysts and they found a 11.5 week baby. I didn’t have a clue

I farted while being stitched up after giving birth. It was a bad one. Dh gagged and I could smell it at my end. Darling midwife (and she was an absolute darling throughout the birth) didn't bat an eyelid.

Induced labour with my first, had been a long labour before I asked for an epidural. At one point it was decided that I should have a catheter passed by the doctor as I hadn’t emptied my bladder for quite a while, doctor passed the catheter, misjudged the angle of the catheter going in and promptly my bladder emptied all over the doctor!

I had a visit with the midwife at home a few days after giving birth. I had literally just got out the shower and my in-laws turned up for a surprise visit at the same time as the midwife. I very quickly gave myself a towel dry but didn't have time to do it properly, shoved on some clothes and the midwife then said she wanted to check my episiotomy stitches. So off we went to the bedroom and literally she said "oh you are very wet down there" possibly the most mortifying moment of my life more so because we lived in a tiny flat with no soundproofing and my inlaws heard every word🤦‍♀️

Coming round from a laporoscopy, the quite handsome anaesthetist was holding my hand....in a Hyacinth Bouquet voice I heard myself exclaim with disgust ‘you’re not my husband’ while I clutched my hands to my chest...would have been pearls if I had some on. The doctor and staff thought it was hilarious.

I walked down the public corridor with my bum hanging out with massive post birth pad stuck on me as I was desperate for the toilet and I couldn’t do myself up after c section earlier this year

I was so desperate I didn’t care despite walking past delivery men and all sorts

Eventually a receptionist saw and helped cover me up

Woke up from my general anaesthetic and for some reason had it in my head that I was looking after ds2 and didn’t know where he’d gone or what had happened to him and shouted at a nurse and told him to give me my baby back right now

Not sure I should admit this here but here you go.
After a major op I passed out on the way to the loo. Unfortunately I lost control of my bodily functions and actually soiled myself.. in front of a family visiting another patient.
imagine coming round to that. Mortifying.

Walked into the cupboard instead of out the door after a consultation.
Projectile vomited over the anaesthesiologist after my hysterectomy- not once but twice. (Allergic to the meds as it turned out)

In labour with DD1 and they wanted to change the sheets or something.

"It's fine, I'll just get up" I said helpfully and launched myself off the bed forgetting that, due to the epidural, I did not have a pair of working legs.

Tiny midwife managed to catch me and with DH helped manhandle me back on the mattress

I had a colonoscopy & had lots of air blown where the sun don't shine, to ease the passage of the camera. The doctor had warned me that I might feel like releasing it later & advised me to not hold back but to get rid of it.

Thankfully I had a private room post-procedure. DH was with me when it all took effect & I let rip loudly & happily for quite some time. No idea what anyone in the corridor, or in an adjoining room, thought but even DH's face took on a, 'Do you have to?' look eventually.

Can you imagine being on a ward full of people doing it??

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂love it.

@Dinosauratemydaffodils

I ran away from a consultant obstetrician whilst pregnant. If that wasn't bad enough, she chased me. Every appointment after that she locked the door to "slow me down". I'm still mortified thinking about it.

Laughed out loud at this just have an image of someone waddling away down the hospital corridor

High on gas and air I told the mw I was going home and would be back the next day to have dd!!!

Not me, but my dad was sat in the waiting room when the nurse came out and called "Elizabeth Taylor". He said most of people in there were struggling not to laugh as a very ordinary, middle,-aged woman got up from her seat.

@Dinosauratemydaffodils

I ran away from a consultant obstetrician whilst pregnant. If that wasn't bad enough, she chased me. Every appointment after that she locked the door to "slow me down". I'm still mortified thinking about it.

@Dinosauratemydaffodils why did you try to run away?!

My own embarrassing story: on a date with now-DH I started having a massive asthma attack. He bundled me into a taxi and took me to hospital. A nurse arrived PDQ in the waiting area to take me for treatment and I was so confused and upset that I grabbed his hand and held it all the way down the corridor Neither he nor DH seemed to mind.

@DramaAlpaca

When I was giving birth to DS2 the midwife decided to examine me to see how far dilated I was. Unfortunately she did so just as my waters went. Poor woman got a faceful

That happened to me too!

Unfortunately, I was also high on gas and air. As DD1 crowned I yelled at the top of my voice to DP, "Fucking hell, your mum was right - this IS like doing a massive shit!"

Mine was last week... 😫

Had to have an internal ultrasound, warned the doc that I was bleeding really heavily. He Pooh Poohed it. Stuck the probe in, and a massive squirt of blood came out, like squeezing a frigging ketchup bottle, smack onto his arm.

I'm ashamed to say, I did say 'I told you it was bad'. He wasn't impressed.