Why is nobody talking about this Christmas conspiracy?

[SinkGirl]

Over the last few years I’ve started to suspect a growing conspiracy, as it’s worse every year...

I firmly believe that manufacturers of all products are in a conspiracy with wrapping paper manufacturers, to package every item in a way that makes it approximately 1cm too wide to be wrapped up using the width of the wrapping paper, so you have to turn it around and use the length. Then the packaging for smaller items is made to be too big for the many offcuts. This is the only explanation for the fact that this has happened with EVERY BLOODY THING I HAVE WRAPPED THIS YEAR. I would avoid it and go for gift bags but they are in on it too.

This must be deliberate and I’m sure it goes all the way to the top.

Also, Amazon being on a mission to fill up by recycling bins across the country by sending every item in a separate box that’s at least two sizes too big, and filled with paper that barely compresses. Have yet to figure out their motive but I’m sure there is one.

I really wanted a yule log in my tesco order but the normal size ones were out of stock so one to serve 10 practically added itself to my basket. Tesco wants to keep me fat, clearly.

What other Christmas conspiracies am I missing?

Morrison's and Baileys have one. They put boxes of Baileys just inside the door which just fall into your trolley. They must be sprung loaded

Every. Single. Time

Also wrapping paper manufacturers purposefully make the rolls one or two presents short, anything over one present and you can guarantee the paper will run out leaving one or two to be wrapped in different paper.

All of the best deserts say they feed 16/20 but only if your the size of a mouse....

I am the world's worst wrapper (after my Nan) so I cannot speak! No conspiracy at my place just total incompetence! I regularly lose sellotape and parcel tape. I am keeping Sainsbury's going I reckon. Everytime I go in the shop I have to buy some of each. It is hard to find tags for presents. There are no plain ones so you end up with some tags looking nothing like the paper you wrapped the present in.

Haha op you’ve rumbled them, definitely a conspiracy!

Amazon cardboard boxes are brilliant for mulching and the brown paper inside is great for lots of things--once you flatten it.

Yes! I end up with about 20 pieces of paper that would only work for Borrower sized gifts. And I dont know any Borrowers to buy for.

We always end up with one more roll than we need so this year we decided to use up the extras rather than buy more. The theme for this year's wrapping is 'ghosts of Christmas past'.

I was unable to buy one chocolate orange. They came in 3s. Which clearly forced me to eat 3 chocolate oranges rather than one.

I have about 1000000 metres of foil all year yet when I suddenly need foil for the turkey, it's the end of the roll

The sellotape fairy goes around the hour before I wish to wrap presents and hides all the sellotape usually 1 hour after every nearby shop has closed

I've spent 2 weeks telling dp to shut up with his conspiracy shit - he has been non stop on his Covid conspiracy theories for months now. Last 2 weeks we have been arguing because he insisted Boris would cancel Xmas and I said he wouldn't dare. He is the happiest dp in London today because he was right and I was wrong

@OhToBeASeahorse

Yes! I end up with about 20 pieces of paper that would only work for Borrower sized gifts. And I dont know any Borrowers to buy for.

To be honest, I was with you. But then last night I managed to wrap both boys' presents using exactly a roll each (not identical presents either, one had 14 one has 16, and that included 2 BIG football goal boxes). Exactly a roll, not a scrap wasted. I felt like I'd won some sort of prize. Dd was helping and she looked at me with the sort of respect mothers of teenagers can only dream of obviously I tried to hide my amazement and acted like I'd totally planned it that way

@FlappingPancakes

I was unable to buy one chocolate orange. They came in 3s. Which clearly forced me to eat 3 chocolate oranges rather than one.

I have about 1000000 metres of foil all year yet when I suddenly need foil for the turkey, it's the end of the roll

The sellotape fairy goes around the hour before I wish to wrap presents and hides all the sellotape usually 1 hour after every nearby shop has closed

I've spent 2 weeks telling dp to shut up with his conspiracy shit - he has been non stop on his Covid conspiracy theories for months now. Last 2 weeks we have been arguing because he insisted Boris would cancel Xmas and I said he wouldn't dare. He is the happiest dp in London today because he was right and I was wrong

He won't ever let you forget this one

@thenewaveragebear1983

To be honest, I was with you. But then last night I managed to wrap both boys' presents using exactly a roll each (not identical presents either, one had 14 one has 16, and that included 2 BIG football goal boxes). Exactly a roll, not a scrap wasted. I felt like I'd won some sort of prize. Dd was helping and she looked at me with the sort of respect mothers of teenagers can only dream of obviously I tried to hide my amazement and acted like I'd totally planned it that way

You’ve hacked the system! You should start a cult, I would join.

@maxineputyourredshoeson

Also wrapping paper manufacturers purposefully make the rolls one or two presents short, anything over one present and you can guarantee the paper will run out leaving one or two to be wrapped in different paper.

All of the best deserts say they feed 16/20 but only if your the size of a mouse....

Yes - I always think I will use a different roll for each person as then no tags falling off, but then you always run out a couple of gifts shy which breaks my inner perfectionist

No idea about the wrapping paper, but I can help you with your query about why your Amazon purchases always come in oversized boxes. The reason is that Amazon employees in their "fulfillment centres" have targets to meet re. the number of items to pack per hour. The targets are quite ambitious, so employees tend to shove things into unnecessarily large boxes because it's quicker than playing parcel Tetris, trying to arrange them snugly into a single box.

Spring loaded baileys 🤣🤣

I believe they are making up the dates on mince pies and Xmas cake. I'm GF and so always try and make sure I have something early so it's available as limited.

However...... it's all got to be eaten by week 1 or 2 of December meaning I have to eat it and seek more.

Also ribbon.

I am organised (and love wrapping gifts) so have wrapped all the presents already. DH always wraps my gift close to the day. I know he has it already but hasn’t wrapped it. I was wrapping my last present and there was this piddly bit of ribbon left. Ah well, I thought, I won’t be getting ribbon on my pressie this year!

@FlappingPancakes

I was also unable to buy one chocolate orange, because the places I was looking had sold out. You are clearly an arch conspirator of the Grand Chorange Plan hiding in plain sight and rubbing it in

I think you just havn't cracked it yet OP. Those boxes where you are thinking you will need to use too much, just turn it 45 degrees so it looks like a diamond and wrap it. Uses less paper!

This year I bought a load of foil Christmas bags of amazon in different sizes I think I paid £11 for 30 different bag sizes
I just put the presents in the bag tied up the ribbon and put a name tag on it
My Christmas wrapping was done in 15-20 mins 😂
No scissors or sellotape needed

Use the paper in the amazon boxes to wrap presents. Looks like you are being eco and traditional and you are in constant supply of the stuff every time a new package arrives.
Decorate with a piece of red ribbon and a bow, which you can reuse the following years.
Been doing this for a couple of years now.

Last Christmas

Hahaha. This has cheered me up!

I want to know how there is still paper left on the roll of wrapping paper I bought in Costco in 2016.

[quote DirtyBlonde]@FlappingPancakes

I was also unable to buy one chocolate orange, because the places I was looking had sold out. You are clearly an arch conspirator of the Grand Chorange Plan hiding in plain sight and rubbing it in[/quote]

I had not mentioned how hard I had to look to find said oranges

There is clearly a Grand Chorange Plan in play to stop the likes of me and you getting our hands on them

I can now only order them in 3s of the type dark, white and chocolate like some hideous conspiracy to get us to eat the lesser siblings (white and dark) in order to get our hands on the prize (milk chocolate)