Gifts to/from teacher

[OhWhatFun12]

Did your child get a gift from their teacher? If so, what was it?

If your child got a gift and you’re in the ‘teachers don’t need gifts just for doing their jobs’ camp, do you not feel bad that teacher has likely spent £30+ and you won’t even spend a quid on a chocolate orange or something?

Asking because I’m a teacher. I work in a school where kids always get a gift off the class teacher. I usually get a good selection of gifts but this year I only got 6. It’s made me feel a bit shit tbh. I spent £40 and several hours making and wrapping individual resin keyrings for each of my children and I just feel a bit...unappreciated and am questioning whether the parents just don’t like me. It’s been a tough bloody term and I’ve worked really hard to make the kids feel safe, happy and make progress.

I know that there is a pandemic but none of the parents have lost their jobs and I really don’t think a small gift is a lot to ask. Yes, I’m doing my job but I also spend 32 hours a week with these children and have a relationship with them...surely that’s the sort of person in your life that children should be taught it’s nice to buy gifts for?!

Anyway, that’s my first world grumble. I was annoyed yesterday and am still festering on it today so wanted some other opinions.
Have name changed, obviously, as I know the official party line for school staff is ‘just a homemade card with a nice message is a lovely gift’ and it’s likely that an avalanche of shit may well fall on me in this thread. Also, I know I am being a completely grabby CF - but I feel this way anyway! AIBU?

Sorry to be rude OP but you come across very spoilt and immature, perhaps you feel the parents don’t like you because they experience the same attitude from you. How about in a year of such misery you feel thankful that you got 6 presents? Many others that work in social sectors such as social care, police, nhs receive nothing - more likely a bit of festive abuse. Don’t be so miserable you fart.

I usually chip into class collection £5 each and this gets teacher and TA some vouchers and a plant/fizz to present to them. This year ds1 class didn't do this so I bought them both £6 plants + £1 chocs. Cost £14, then spent £8 × 4 on prosecco for after school club teachers and school secretary + £4 on beers that we knew caretaker liked. Plus bags cost me £4.

So £54 in total plus 3 music teachers got £7.50 plants. (Only 1 is a school music teacher).

£5 for footie coach collection.

£81.50 on gifts for those who teach / school related for my dc. Tbh its been a bad year and it's good for the dc to see gift giving to people who deserve it.

Hi OP sorry you feel this way. My DC started secondary school this year and I felt terrible when they came home on the last day with a pressie from the form tutor, and having always got teachers presents in the past, we didn't this year because I thought it wasn't the done thing in secondary school. However, the fact we didn't get one for the teacher this year is no reflection on her whatsoever I think she has been amazing. I also have a child in primary school and although we did get their teachers presents in the end I was a bit conflicted about whether to/ what to get as due to current circumstances they have been much less visible than normal / we haven't got to know them at all so a present was more difficult. Just putting these ideas across to show their may be other reasons for people not getting you presents this year.

I gave 2 folk a blood transfusion last week and kept them alive, I held a patients hand as they died the week before. I didn't get a mug.... I didn't need one as I did my job and its all I need. I spend money too. Patients don't have family visiting and we take in treats.. We don't keep a record of that, we just do it.

Not sure I could look at a child and think... Your parents are so ungrateful for all the hard work I put in teaching you to read!

I wish teachers had the same rules we had. Not allowed to accept gifts and boxes of chocolates get shared with everyone.

You need to stop being grabby. You have a job that's paid. Lots of families have lost their job.

This post isn’t sitting well with me tbh. I’m a secondary school teacher and yes we have the odd gift but nothing like the amount you receive in primary. I’ve also been a parent of two primary aged kids in the past and didn’t like the pressure I felt to get the teachers a gift.

You do know that we are meant to declare every gift we receive as a teacher, right?

I'm a TA . I don't measure my worth in gifts received. They're just a kind gesture and a lovely surprise. I measure it in the hugs I get,the little drawings i get, the nice words from parents/kids,the bonds I form etc.

Presents are lovely but I know a lot of people who buy them out of obligation,who stress over it or see it as yet another chore, who don't even like their kid's teacher but it's "what you do" and so on, that got pressured into it by the PTA or "that" mum.

I've also seen some really crap teachers/TAs get lots of gift and brilliant ones barely getting any, depending on the class.

They're not a measure of who you are as a teacher or person or how much effort you've put in.

As for giving, I always give my classes a card with a chocolate coin in. I had 63 children to do them for last year. That was fun.

@OhWhatFun12

There’s another post at the moment where a manager hasn’t bought their staff gifts but has, instead, donated to a charity. There are numerous posts from people saying that they would have preferred the gift and the OP did the wrong thing. Why are those people not being labelled as grabby?

Just another example of why teachers are expected to be saints that give and give and expect nothing in return. The fact that numerous people have accused me of not really being a teacher is symptomatic of this - can teachers not be flawed, selfish people?(if that’s how you interpret my posts?)

Because a charity gift is not a gift. Definitely not for the receiver, especially if they aren't asked what charity they support/they'd wish the money to go to.

It's mostly a gift for the giver. Fairly lazy ,hassle free and they get all the "good feelz" / and bragging rights over what a wonderful person they are and what a good deed they did.

Of those parents you expected to buy you presents, how many of those are in jobs that get numerous gifts from customers etc. There are so many background jobs that never get recognised. Ie what about those who organise school transport, school Audits etc. Im definitely not suggesting teachers don't work hard but there are plenty of others who also work hard and what customers/consumers/parents buy them numerous gifts?

Made the daily mail op. Proud moment I am sure 🙄

Daily mirror..

I'm a secondary teacher. Always used to get a little something from some of the kids and it really felt nice to be appreciated. That's all gone , haven't had as much as a chocolate bar in years. Sign if the times I think, it's gone, along with tipping bin men etc

My kids go to a tiny village school. Less than 30 children altogether and they have never had gifts. DD1 only has 2 other kids in her year group. I havent given gifts either....just not the done thing. Yes, I will give a gift at the end of the school year.

What do I want them to do? I want them to buy me a present!

I imagine you stamping your foot as you said this. Are you one of the pupils?

Teacher here too. I’m embarrassed for you OP. You are not helping the negativity we’ve been subjected to this year either. Way to go .

Are you actually serious? You sound far too childish to be a teacher!

You do realise that this year has left so many people financially hard off don’t you? So many parents will have worried and struggled to even buy presents for their children this year let alone some childish grabby teacher! No way could I of afforded at the best of times to buy my children’s teachers presents, not to mention this year.

WOW.

OP, even if you live in an affluent area, your pupils may not necessarily be wealthy...
England has social housing in the most affluent areas....

Bloody hell. I feel embarrassed to be a teacher! What on earth, op?? You sound awful.
I got each of the pupils in my form a little net of choc coins - not in the hope.or expectation if getting anything back, but because I like them and it's a nice thing to do.
I find your childish, petulant post cringeworthy to say the least. Just awful.

Oh dear OP, you don't give gifts in order to receive!

I don't give gifts to teachers at xmas because we dont celebrate it. But I may give something at the end of the academic year if my child wants to.
I'm pretty sure most teachers don't want multiple boxs of chocs, flowers, mugs etc either.
What I would like is for parents to work with us to help their child progress as much as they can and be happy too. That is a real gift.

apple.news/AElkuLjecTiSyUcrfdQlEqg

Your grabby post made it into a rag (The Sun)

And as expected the first comments are all about teachers doing nothing, being at home on their arse for 6 months and what not.

Bet that'll cheer you right up OP.

I don't give to my class, no. Teachers spend enough of their wage on their students as it is. I do give each of them a Christmas card - some kids would get very few so I feel that's important - and they'll get a chocolate out of the Advent calendar. Other than that, I don't give 'things'.

Parents at my school give €€€ vouchers. It's appreciated, I like the freedom of spending it on what I want rather than getting Best Teacher paraphernalia. Definitely not mandatory though and the organisation of it has nothing to do with school.