Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Gifts to/from teacher

121 replies

OhWhatFun12 · 19/12/2020 20:27

Did your child get a gift from their teacher? If so, what was it?

If your child got a gift and you’re in the ‘teachers don’t need gifts just for doing their jobs’ camp, do you not feel bad that teacher has likely spent £30+ and you won’t even spend a quid on a chocolate orange or something?

Asking because I’m a teacher. I work in a school where kids always get a gift off the class teacher. I usually get a good selection of gifts but this year I only got 6. It’s made me feel a bit shit tbh. I spent £40 and several hours making and wrapping individual resin keyrings for each of my children and I just feel a bit...unappreciated and am questioning whether the parents just don’t like me. It’s been a tough bloody term and I’ve worked really hard to make the kids feel safe, happy and make progress.

I know that there is a pandemic but none of the parents have lost their jobs and I really don’t think a small gift is a lot to ask. Yes, I’m doing my job but I also spend 32 hours a week with these children and have a relationship with them...surely that’s the sort of person in your life that children should be taught it’s nice to buy gifts for?!

Anyway, that’s my first world grumble. I was annoyed yesterday and am still festering on it today so wanted some other opinions.
Have name changed, obviously, as I know the official party line for school staff is ‘just a homemade card with a nice message is a lovely gift’ and it’s likely that an avalanche of shit may well fall on me in this thread. Also, I know I am being a completely grabby CF - but I feel this way anyway! AIBU?

OP posts:
Aubergina · 19/12/2020 22:45

@KatyN

I always buy teacher gifts. Yes you get paid but it’s a profession which I think is undervalued, underpaid and (obviously) vital. I have also bought gifts when stayed is hospital or had a long term relationship with my gp. I think it is a bit rubbish of your class. But at the same time there is so much shit at the minute it’s hard to think of anything extra.
I hope you will continue to buy teachers presents when your DC are in secondary school too
willieversleep · 19/12/2020 22:45

No way is this real

Nohomemadecandles · 19/12/2020 22:47

This surely isn't real?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

General education General shopping
ReceptionTA · 19/12/2020 23:27

Wow! I don't know any teachers that think like this in RL! Maybe the parents just don't like you OP? Do you expect them all to buy you an Easter egg too?

Ltdannygreen · 19/12/2020 23:36

I’ve always given the teachers a box of M&S shortbread for Christmas, dd 8 got a Christmas wooden bauble with a personalised message on the back from her teacher. She was proper over the moon. Ds12 gave his teacher a candle purely because he has asd and is in a small group of just 4 of them and she’s solely teaches them the work set by other subject teachers. She helped him virtually through the whole of the first lockdown. So he wanted to get her something real nice.

ShirazSavedMySanity · 20/12/2020 03:35

Yes, I bought my class gifts, out of my own money. I want them to know I care, and that they are deserving of a gift.
I got a couple of boxes of chocs from children in my class which meant the world - mainly because I know the parents will have had to justify the cash to spend on them in hard times.

I work in a very deprived area, the children were so grateful for their gifts. I would never, ever expect to receive a gift from them.

You sound very immature OP, and also seem to have forgotten the meaning of Christmas.

ShirazSavedMySanity · 20/12/2020 03:37

And part of the reason I’m awake is that I’m still worrying about a child and the impending shit show that is about to hit their life, and they have no idea what is about to come.

You do this job for the love of the children surely not the Christmas gifts?

parrotonmyshoulder · 20/12/2020 04:21

Our school has a very clear and politely worded ‘no gifts’ policy which works both ways and is on the school news letter and website from early December. It mentions how grateful we all are for Christmas good wishes etc but that everyone should concentrate on their own friends and familles at Christmas, with links ans references to local and international charities, churches and food banks

Suzi888 · 20/12/2020 04:40

We did. Baylis & Harding gift set and a box of Hotel Chocolat x2. One fir teacher and one for the teaching assistant.
The teacher ended up having to isolate, then a few days later the whole class had to. So we still have the gift hereSad

For future ideas what can we get? I just have images of teachers sat there with 30 bottles of unwanted wine/choc.

Thesunrising · 20/12/2020 05:00

I have never heard of teachers buying their students gifts. Is this usual? I don’t remember ever getting one from a teacher and neither of my kids 9& 6 have ever had one from a teacher. Nor would I expect it!

Stepintochristmas2020 · 20/12/2020 06:15

I have bought presents for my DC's teachers but an unsure about handing them in. School have said DC are not allowed to take in xmas cards for each other, so why would they be allowed to bring in presents for teachers?

Your post has been the type of thing we have heard regularly in the school emails this year. Every week it's basically repeating how hard it is for the teachers over and over again due to COVID. Do they realise that we have all been impacted by covid? Its seems like they think they're the only ones that have had hardship this year due to covid.

Even if the parents are all still working, as you said in your OP, work environments have changed massively this year. I have worked through the full year and am physically and mentally drained and have been for months.

This isnt about the kids/parents not liking you OP.

sunnysidegold · 20/12/2020 08:21

As a primary teacher I am so embarrassed to read this.

My school had asked for not gifts or cards this year due to covid. The school my children go to allowed presents so we bought their teachers something.

I actually felt a little relieved - some of my families have very little and some children would feel sad they hadn't bought me a present. We still gave small gifts to our classes but they had to be quarantined in school.

I kind of hope this puts an end to buying teacher gifts. A message is so much nicer to read and you can keep that for years.

Marmite27 · 20/12/2020 08:24

Mine got a little gift box with a lunch ball, Christmas rubber duck and a Christmas notebook (cracker size) and a bag of haribo (that ‘I swapped with Noah because he doesn’t like tangtastics and I do and I didn’t have them’).

Teachers got a Christmas scented candle in a decorated tin and a box of malteasers in a gift bag.

Reception class.

Marmite27 · 20/12/2020 08:33

Bouncy ball, not lunch ball

Dee1975 · 20/12/2020 08:35

My children got a bag of sweets. Personally I don’t feel teachers should feel the need to give a gift. 30 kids presents is expensive!
We gave teachers and TAs a box of chocolates. Something I’m always happy to do. Will normally be wine and chocolates at end of year!

Ilovechoc12 · 20/12/2020 08:42

One of mine got a pencil case from a teacher which was lovely (I put in £30 for class kitty) so I didn’t buy her anything at Xmas.

My eldest - I bought wine for the teacher , chocolates for breakfast teacher and matron (no class kitty)
My eldest girl nothing again £30 for class kitty and the teacher doesn’t celebrate Xmas.
My youngest boy was in self isolation so Xmas presents went out of the window but I did a class kitty of £20 and I would of given both TA and teacher a present too I’m prob send it in after Xmas.

I always do class kitty and if I think the teacher is either exceptionally nice or has done extra stuff for my child then I’ll give them a present.

I don’t know why teachers are forced to buy children presents (my sister TA and expected to put in cash but that’s just over 2 hrs work for her ) !

AyrshireAmbler49 · 20/12/2020 08:42

I usually give my children a chocolate Santa/reindeer but because of the CV rules, we had to quarantine any gifts in school and because I only work in the latter half of the week, there wouldn’t have been enough time.
Any gifts I got were a bonus. I don’t expect anything.

Borderterrierpuppy · 20/12/2020 08:43

My child got a present at the class party and I gave the ht dht class teacher and ta prosecco and a card.
I am seriously grateful to these women and the job they do everyday. He is in a special needs school so I have a lot more contact with them than other teachers we have had in the past.
Sorry you are feeling like this, I feel that teachers have had a really tough year xx

cliffdiver · 20/12/2020 08:45

If this post is from a teacher then I'll eat my Dienes.

IggyAce · 20/12/2020 08:46

Sorry op you come across as grabby. My dcs primary requested no gifts so I followed that request. My dc did get a gift from his teacher, a pencil & mini pack of haribo.
I will likely buy his teacher a small gift at the end of the school year.

cliffdiver · 20/12/2020 08:48

@Suzi888

We did. Baylis & Harding gift set and a box of Hotel Chocolat x2. One fir teacher and one for the teaching assistant. The teacher ended up having to isolate, then a few days later the whole class had to. So we still have the gift hereSad

For future ideas what can we get? I just have images of teachers sat there with 30 bottles of unwanted wine/choc.

There no such thing as unwanted wine Grin

Seriously though, a card with a thoughtful message is lovely, that was my favourite 'gift' this year.

GlassLake · 20/12/2020 08:49

How old are you?

LittleRa · 20/12/2020 08:50

I’m a primary school teacher. Our pupils were told not to bring in any gifts this year, due to infection control. I am pleased, I work in a deprived area and I do not need gifts from my pupils and do not want any families spending their money on me at Christmas, this or any other year.
Each year I usually spend my own money getting a small present for each child- pencil and sweets, book from a multipack etc. However this year the school budget gave each teacher £5 per pupil in their class to buy a nice Christmas present for each of them after what has been a difficult year.
My own daughter goes to a less deprived area school, parents there arranged a collection. I contributed £10. I believe vouchers and gin were bought for the teacher and two TAs.

Original poster
OhWhatFun12 · 20/12/2020 08:55

I know that you don’t give to receive. I know that some people have a lot going on this year.

It isn’t about the actual gift. I don’t want or need 30 boxes of chocolate or mugs. I do, however, think that children should be taught to buy gifts for people that have big and significant roles in their lives. Is it any wonder that there are countless Christmas threads on here about husbands/sisters/ friends etc that haven’t given gifts if they’ve been taught that it’s ok not to think of others / show your appreciation if you’ve got too many other things going on in your own life.

A few points to add:
I’m in my 40s, so no, not young.
I’ve been teaching for 20 years, so no, not inexperienced.
I work in an affluent area - my views would be different in a deprived area.
I don’t know any teachers who don’t buy gifts for their classes. Teacher fb groups I’m part of are full of ideas being shared about what to buy or make.
My partner is a secondary teacher and receives a gift off many of his form group. He also gives them gifts.

OP posts:
emilybrontescorsett · 20/12/2020 08:56

One year my dd insisted on baking her teacher a cake. She was in primary school and took the cake in along with a chocolate Santa. The teacher bit the head off the Santa straight away and are the rest during the morning . He then thanked her for the cake and said he would let her have the tin back the next day after he had taken it home. He told her they was no way he was sharing it with other staff members. Apparently he gave the class TA a slice and then are the rest himself!
The next day he brought the tin back and told dd to thank me saying how lovely it was.
Dd and I still laugh about it now.