ADs and the hardon colanders

[CruCru]

Here’s the new thread.

@zigaziga I do!! Its my way of coping with a shit situation tbh - making the whole thing a little bit lighthearted coupled with sensible precautions just in case there are some over zealous officials who try to stop us

We were going to have my sister and BIL and DDog over (DH would have picked them up alone and claimed single person support bubble). We've all been recently tested for various reasons and they had been isolating so risk of us sharing Covid was pretty tiny but eventually decided it would be too much to deal with. Dog is a puppy but MASSIVE, good with children out and about but never spent significant time with them, and I didn't really want to be having to manage that, 18 month old DD, hyper 6yo DS and trying to cook my first ever Christmas dinner. Including a 5kg turkey between two adults and two children (DSis and BIL are vegan so would have been no help!).

Related - I am at the point now where I really just want someone to look after me a bit and I think that is what has really got to me with the whole Christmas thing. The whole responsibility of Making Christmas Magical feels like it's on my shoulders, and DH is genuinely great but it's the old story of the mental load falling on the mum, isn't it?

I'm popping down to work later to get a few bits of Christmas food, luckily we've got our turkey on order plus a few bits. God knows what it'll be like but we've had caps on lots of things in place already. I expect (well I hope!) management have put more caps on to prevent panic buying.
I'm lucky in so far as I've not got young children, just grandchildren but I worry about them, although they seem to be coping well with it all, just missing seeing each other.
One of my grown up daughters is in tier 4, working for the NHS and she's been told they must not break any of the rules or they'll be fined. Not sure how that will work but obviously she's worried as it'll affect her registration. We're making plans to meet on the county borders to swap presents/ wave from a distance/ face time on Christmas day but it's come to this?
I've said it before but I'll say it again- I've worked all through this, before the social distancing, the reduction in numbers in shops, before screens, gloves and masks, through the first lot of panic buying and I'm fine. No one, and I mean no one has caught anything at our work, as if they had we'd all know! There's been a few colds etc, cue isolation, testing etc but that's it. We're in a very low case area, but in tier 2, mostly due to Swindon being so high I think.
I'm usually such a positive person, "like granite" was how my lovely manager described me but the non stop low level background worry is getting to me, so I know that people who perhaps are not so robust mentally are struggling a lot.
I wish I could help them.

I'm beginning to feel like we are all in a giant space invaders game where we are all trying to dodge the virus falling on us whilst getting frequent 'handicaps' and less frequent 'rewards' for successfully dodging the virus.

But. as in the game, the virus is coming thicker and faster all the time, with more and more handicaps happening. The aim being to continue playing. Luckily however, a fact that seems to have escaped many people, although there will be casualties, the aim of the virus is to live amongst us, not kill us.

I love the idea of ADers on under cover missions and hugging solstice trees. Even lighting a candle ( not in a light a candle, bake banana bread and go for another walk way, counting your blessings and being happy that this is as good as it can ever get way, but in a reaching for better times way) feels like a small act of defiance in the countries seeming race to the bottom.

I'm trying to decide what to do later, a beach fire and a swim is attractive.

Welcome jellybean
I wish I had told my parents to jump into their car and escape tier 4 for the leafy south west, but my 80 year old dad is a law abiding Tory voter.
Have no idea when we will actually get to see them now.

Listen very carefully I shall say theeese only once.... ☺

For all you who remember all allo

You lovely Ads have cheered me up
Love that other people are repatriating yoofs too..

I am. Picturing you in French maids outfits and trench coats saying to police... "its the Madonna with the big boobies" in response to queries about parcels etc in the car

@Lostinacloud
My dd2 boarding school has a boarding house open now all year... Some girls have been there since March.
Its awful... The school are doing all they can to make it jolly and they are in tier 2 so can go out a bit.
The school tried to get overseas borders home weeks ago and they have an online school running too.. But apparently many parents insisted the girls stayed in school!

There's one student left on DD's BF's floor at uni, he's from the far East and the problem is the cost (and duration) of the two weeks quarantine and associated tests just make it unaffordable and impractical.

Related - I am at the point now where I really just want someone to look after me a bit and I think that is what has really got to me with the whole Christmas thing. The whole responsibility of Making Christmas Magical feels like it's on my shoulders, and DH is genuinely great but it's the old story of the mental load falling on the mum, isn't it?

My brain was chuntering on a similar theme last night. Nothing feels special, and that's because there's little fresh input beyond my efforts to add that bit more. Like the DCs presents. I know what they are (DH is involved too, guess who wraps...) but a day where I cook the dinner and watch the DCs open what I wrapped is actually not very special. There's no fresh input to add anything extra beyond my efforts. Being together is not special when we've spend the majority of the past 280 odd days together without our usual fresh input of work, volunteering, activities, casual social contact etc.

Some of it is just the grind of adulting anyway and I was feeling worn this time last year, ironically from too much on as we manically finished off a combination of long-running DIY projects on top of the rest of life. Also just being well into the stage of family life where we and our friends have limited capacity to meet up and just have fun

But this year has just amplified it all a hundredfold and wiped out a lot of spontenaity and escapism.

Some of you might be interested in this

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/coronavirus/4112276-NERVTAG-minutes?watched=1

I’m okay this morning but I had a funny turn last night. The short version is, I think I had what would have been a panic attack in the days before I was medicated. So I took a tranquilliser and went to bed. I had a strong sense of depersonalisation which MH veterans will be familiar with. But I also didn’t know what to do or how to be, so the tranquilliser was the best option.

@BogrollBOGOF

i understand what you are saying, it is about the fresh blood ..fresh people...fresh company
I never understand people who say ' oh just have christmas day with your dc and dh/dp'...that is a normal sunday roast day with presents

It is the 'new' people arriving that jazz it all up a bit.
yes it is harder work to cater for 10 or 12 or whatever..but for me and i suspect for you , and all other extroverts, sociable individuals, that is part of the fun.
the finding the extra chairs, trying to make a dinner table long enough using the camping table, rickety and unbalanced, the laughter and noise and jollity
if your dc are quite young it is also the fact other adults to entertain them while you cook or whatever.
it is just more fun with more people !

@TabbyStar

There's one student left on DD's BF's floor at uni, he's from the far East and the problem is the cost (and duration) of the two weeks quarantine and associated tests just make it unaffordable and impractical.

Poor lad. I hope he'll be OK.

My extended relative made it back to her home country a week or so back. At least she has a good family network here, but it's not the same as being home where you grew up.

Oh and back to Christmas being special or not, my DCs definitely don't believe in Santa and are not playing the traditional game of playing along with their parents. They think that I'll actually go around taking giant bites out of unprepared carrots and fabricate "reindeer mess"

Oh I should not have posted on the C board.

[quote Theredjellybean]@BogrollBOGOF

i understand what you are saying, it is about the fresh blood ..fresh people...fresh company
I never understand people who say ' oh just have christmas day with your dc and dh/dp'...that is a normal sunday roast day with presents

It is the 'new' people arriving that jazz it all up a bit.
yes it is harder work to cater for 10 or 12 or whatever..but for me and i suspect for you , and all other extroverts, sociable individuals, that is part of the fun.
the finding the extra chairs, trying to make a dinner table long enough using the camping table, rickety and unbalanced, the laughter and noise and jollity
if your dc are quite young it is also the fact other adults to entertain them while you cook or whatever.
it is just more fun with more people ![/quote]
Totally.
This is already feeling back to lockdown. Slightly better choice of shop avaliable, but I'm pretty functional about shopping and the last week before Christmas would not be recreational in any year!

I cooked a roast dinner last night. Generally I find the effort/ cost: appreciation ratio not very enticing to do very often, but DS1's favourite food is sprouts so it was nice to do with his birthday this weekend. There will be some nicer trimmings for Christmas Day, but there's a limit in how far you can go in feeling beyond a roast dinner with immediate family.

We've had a few Christmas Days on our own, but we'd normally do church in the morning which is fresh input and would have 3-4 family visits around Christmas/ New Year. It's very much a season to me and not just one day.

At 7& 10 they can definitely entertain themselves. They need us around, but not necessarily involved.

I know much of MN would be scandalised but DH and I have been going for little local walks so that we get some time together. His working day does not count! The DCs know how to phone us, and like the start of a flight, we go through the emergency exits etc. We need some adult time though- tricky with nocturnal children who don't have enough external structure.

We have swimming this evening. I just hope that carries on into January. DS1 has his first new lesson. He progresses to the main pool, so should be lining up outside to go in. Simulataneously DS2 lines up inside for the same slot in the smaller zone of the same pool, so I'll keep DS1 with me and ignore the main pool protocols. He doesn't cope well with changing independently anyway and these kinds of transitions take time and patience. DS2 is more independent in that way! (One of the multitude of reasons why DS1 was assessed and diagnosed)

I think I'm slap bang in the middle of extrovert/ introvert. I need both external company and solitude to thrive and don't do well with too much of either extreme.

I wonder if we will get a white Christmas ☃️☃️ ten years ago today we had this

@Theredjellybean

Listen very carefully I shall say theeese only once.... ☺

For all you who remember all allo

You lovely Ads have cheered me up
Love that other people are repatriating yoofs too..

I am. Picturing you in French maids outfits and trench coats saying to police... "its the Madonna with the big boobies" in response to queries about parcels etc in the car

this is how i have thought about us the entire way through

also, checking in. Sick to death of the word "selfish" expecting imminent lockdown, schools closing because lets face it - they've gone on back on every other decisions.

Have just heard that Oxford vaccine will be approved soon so maybe that is something.

I am just miserable, next year is going to be shit too, isn't it?

Mum's are rarely selfish we're the glue that holds everything together 😇😇

This whole "its just 2 weeks, actually until January, oh no it could be April" thing is starting to remind me of being at a gym class where they say "10 situps left" but then somehow never get to the last one, and start the countdown over.

Except, obviously, I chose not to torture myself like that, and we've got no sodding choice with these endlessly extending lockdowns.

Is it time for 🍷🍷

As Boris was making his announcement my Tier 4 DD was already half way up the motorway to me, planned before shit hit the fan. Her mental health has been awful over the last few months and coming home for Xmas the only thing thats kept her going.
She left her DH down there, and now he's alone he will go to his parents in Tier 3.
Naughty? Probably.
Fucks given? Zero.

We're taking a calculated risk and I'm putting her mental health above all this shite.

Not entirely free of hyperbole, but a reasonably calm, balanced and rather interesting article here in the New York Times about the new variant, the vagaries of ‘transmissibility’ and how the vaccines are just one weapon in the vast arsenal natural defences within the human body.

@justasking111

Is it time for 🍷🍷

I don't drink but I'm seriously considering starting!

that should be ‘vast arsenal of natural defences’