What crazy things did you believe as a child?

[SinkGirl]

Just been discussing this with DH after realising that DT1 thinks that putting on his coat in the morning magically makes the school bus appear.

We were remembering things we believed as children, some courtesy of adult fibs but others... who knows?

Here’s some of ours:

• That the kidneys in steak and kidney pie are not actually kidneys, they just have the same name
• That the moon is only a few metres above our heads (blame the grandparent who said the moon was the same size as the dining table, plus child logic)
• That all cats are female and all dogs are male, or (much weirder) that poos are gentlemen and wees are ladies (this was me, and I have literally no idea where this came from - I even remember imagining a cartoon poo in a top hat, so I’m wondering if it was something I saw in a book?)

Obviously aside from Santa, Easter bunny etc, what obviously bonkers things did you believe as a child?

If you kissed a boy you had a baby.

I'm only 34, but I think we were definitely more innocent then.

I had completely forgotten this until you said that - I thought you had to be married to have a baby, like once you got married the baby got delivered after the wedding gifts. My mind was blown when my nan explained that my step dad hadn’t been married to his first son’s mum before mine and asking “but where did the baby come from then?” much to everyone’s amusement.

That the world was black and white!

That if you flushed the toilet a ghost came out

If you picked your nose then black frogs would come out your mouth.
That you had to be married to have a baby.
That there really was a man in the moon!

There was a point where I believed that the yellow box junctions would come up off the road and trap your car like a net if you stopped on them.

Because people used to say 'i'll be speaking to my lawyer' on TV, I thought that half the population were lawyers and everybody was assigned a personal one

Yeah I thought you had to get married at 17 and I remember laying in bed worrying about it

If you ate a grape with a seed in a tree would grow out of your tummy.
If you swallowed chewing gum it would tangle up your insides.

I always checked for crocodiles before sitting down on the toilet. Grew up in England so no idea why I was worried about crocodiles!

These are great - I do wonder where all these things come from! I still remember looking in the mirror and wondering why my eyes weren’t going square (too much TV) and my hair wasn’t getting curly (eating my crusts),

That the slider on a trombone went into the player's mouth - a bit like a multitasking sword swallower... 😂

I dont know if anybody else did this but Id imagine or dream that a shut of place in town actually contained a massive secret garden or zoo then Id sort of believe it from then on? did the same thing with books and TV as well, id imagine/dream a different ending then always want that actual ending to come up again when rereading/watching the same thing a billion times over

That Jesus was a Catholic.

Apple seeds and tree in your tummy!
If you pulled a face and the wind changed direction you’d stay that way.
That an eraser could rub out your features.
At 62 I empty my shoes/slippers out each time I put them on in case of Scorpions. I was brought up in South London, thank you to my Spanish Grandmother for that one!

If you pick your nose your head will cave in.

Both my grandmothers had the same first name so obviously I thought you could only marry someone whose mother had the same name as yours

That you had to put your indicator on in order for the car to turn round corners.

I love these threads!

I used to think that sex was something that happened to people while they were asleep.

Also, that when you broke and arm or leg it didn’t actually hurt.

My older sister was convinced that car headlights turned to red as they drove past you. The fact it was the brake lights completely escaped her. She argued it so much on a car journey that I got a wallop for winding her up!

I believed that there were little men inside traffic lights who changed the colour when it was time to go

My dad travelled for work and went to Sweden for one trip. On return he told me that a little transparent blue spoon from an ice cream tub was actually a oar from the boat of a magical blue pixie he met there (smurf inspired?). I believed him for a long time and kept the 'oar' safe in my room. I was about 8!

White dogs made white dog poo

If you ate sugar with your fingers you got worms

If you ate jam with your fingers your fingers fused.

Swallowing bubble gum was dangerous- could wrap round your innerds

I believed my beloved grandad when he told me the album we were listening to was him singing with the children in the background being me and my siblings and cousins. Weaved a great tale of us standing in the living room and people came and recorded us. I had the full image so much in my head it felt like memory.

Except my grandfather was never Nat King Cole and his grandchildren were never a choir. I should have sensed that glint in his eye when he told me that one! He must have had a good chuckle. And my gran would have rolled her eyes.