Women who do it all...What is your routine?

[Reearry]

Women who are able to be on top of work, kids, hobbies, fitness, learning, grooming, social life, mental health... What is your routine? What time do you wake up? How much time do you spend on hobbies? How much time do you spend on fitness and grooming? How are you able to manage daily house management, work, kids and be able to have time for self development? What are the tips and tricks to be able to do keep on top of it everything?

Reading through posts on here has made me realise how much more time we have to live without having to commute for school or work. By the time most people would be dropping their kids off to school DH would've done the farm chores, we've all eaten, got dressed, started school work and the kitchen would be clean. I still don't think commuting time adds up to enough not to have time to do things other than cooking and cleaning (if that). Out of interest, do you all sit with children while they do homework and play in the avo/eve after school or do you get stuff like cooking and cleaning done while they're busy? My kids don't do homework but occasionally continue school work. I rarely have to sit with them, I usually have dinner in the oven while prepping for another meal or I'm cooking the dinner while they sit at the kitchen table?

do you all sit with children while they do homework and play in the avo/eve after school

I do a mix - DS is usually at the kitchen table whilst doing his homework and I'm pottering in the kitchen, making dinner or sat next to him feeding the toddler. He then dos independent play whilst I cook, we eat together and then play together a bit before bed. But a lot depends on how much homework there is an how complicated dinner is. He's still at the reading together stage of homework so one of us reads his school book most nights at the very least.

I am not skinny or groomed & only have 2 children but could probably tick the other boxes.
I have a cleaner, am lucky with my hair that hasn’t yet gone grey and is naturally shiny, I am obsessively organised, make lists for everything and plan ahead. Children have multiple sets of uniform & trainers to avoid the stress where possible. I don’t go our very often either!

We make greek pasta salad once a month or so and the kids enjoy chopping veggies and we list to music and chat. Youngest is 7. This is just an example of ways to multitask spending time together.

We dont bother with cupcakes, cookies and baking in general. It's not very useful to me and we just call to Gregg's now and again for a cream bun instead.

...oh and shoes get the once over with wet wipes while watching tv.

I think if you have to ask the question, you’re probably not cut out for the lifestyle.

People who literally have it all will be out-sourcing some of it, getting by on less sleep (which isn’t for everyone - clearly getting up at 4.30am to exercise instantly adds more hours in the day), and/or are naturally disciplined, organised and routine focused.

Either you are this way inclined, or you’re not, and probably never will be.

So ‘having’ (doing) it all, comes somewhat naturally, and in some cases, is eased by throwing money at one or two of the aspects.

Of your list:

1 - work
2 - kids
3- hobbies
4 - fitness
5 - learning
6 - grooming
7 - social life
8 - mental health

I would also add
9 - house work/ food shop 'life admin'

I can tick, 1, 2, 3, 4, 8 and 9

I don't do the grooming, social life, learning because who the hell has time for all of it, seriously!

I wake up at 6, go to sleep at midnight, I work full time, have a 6 yr old to get to school, feed, clothe and do home work with, as well as entertain of a weekend. My current hobby is fitness so I go swimming or to the gym late evening.

I see it is emerging on this thread that most people admit to not doing one or two things on the list. Because, well, it’s kind of obvious that not all those things are going to get done on a regular basis.

I don’t do fitness (although I do walk a lot) or hobbies, other than reading and cooking.

We do prioritise socialising, though, which means weekends are taken up with the kids’ activities, and entertaining / going to other’s (as a family).

Other people de-prioritise socialising for hobbies and other things.

It does seem as if something inevitably has to give.

I think you can do it all, everything on your list,but just not at the same time. Those women who appear to be managing are either outsourcing a lot, or actually not managing something behind the scenes.
I am getting on a bit now (49 LOL) and have gone through many different stages of life.
I am a very senior clinican in the NHS, full time. I have 5 dc (now admitedly all older) DH works full time. Have a nice house. Was about to run a marathon in April (it was cancelled, thanks COVID!) People often comment to me they dont know how I do it all. But I dont. Not everything all at once.
When the kids were younger my career took a back seat and I worked part time.
When I increased my hours at work my running reduced initially.
Currently my social life is non existent. Though at other times it has been good.
Likewise grooming goes up and down. Currently my grey roots need desperate attention!
Right now my job is super busy and taking a massive toll on me so again I have had to cut back in other areas.
I have no paid help and never have done.
I do constantly feel like I am juggling a million spinning plates, but I am getting better on knowing what to prioritise when and at looking after my mental health better.
I am a super organised person by nature though which helps. I get up at 5.30 every morning, but also go to bed VV early.
I plan EVERYTHING waaaay in advance.
I run before work as this gets it done and frees up the evenings. I do order almost everything online and have done way before this year.
But for me the key is just accepting you cant do it all all at once. There will be time sin your life when you will prioritse one area of another. and that is fine.

I don't see why people are so disbelieving that it can be done? I have 4 kids, a farm and business and can do all of it without outsourcing? We don't even get food delivered? People are clueless as to how long things should take. Exercise doesn't have to be an hour at a time and isn't just working out at a gym. Socialising isn't always meeting up for a night out, it could be a text conversation or a skype call. I get 7/8 hours of sleep and could get 10 if I chose and still manage to fit in everything?

I don't do it all, DH does a lot and I still only manage 1,2,5,8,9 from above and working on more time for 4 and 6. No outsourcing and little family support, three children, ft job.

I am reading this and trying not to make myself ill by living up to standards that are not possible or going to work for me.

www.amazon.co.uk/Rushing-Womans-Syndrome-Never-Ending-Do/dp/1781808163?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

No one has it all.

I have a nice house - I have a cleaner.
I'm fairly groomed - but some days I don't bother.
I have a good job - after years of shit ones.

But I'm overweight and I don't really have hobbies.

I've a super fit friend but she chose not to have children so she could maintain that level of fitness.

I've another friend you would think had it all it she's exhausted juggling it all.

No one, man or woman, has it all.

I think it is difficult to say the least! I am a SAHM by choice and cannot manage all that ! My DF appears to be on top as she works FT in a stressful role ,runs a home and has DC.Realistically she is always "knackered" and just about holds it together! I would concentrate on what is possible for you ,rather than trying to live up to some impossible stereotype .

I don't do it all, I have strict priorities and anything else left has to wait.
My number one priority is my job because I need the money to pay off the last few years of my mortgage and fund my pension and savings - I have 8 years left before retirement.
My second priority is my son and his family.
Everything else can wait until I have time to do it.
I live alone now anyway and don't make a mess, just tidy up as I go along.
When I was a single parent working full time it was the same.
You can't do it all and it's not possible to be super woman and keep sane.

I work 90%.

Run 2-3 times a week. Long run Sunday morning when DH at home, other runs are much easier to fit in now that I work from home a couple of days - instead of commuting I go for a run.
Cleaner 2hrs every week.
We live right beside school so no travel to school time. Shortish commute to work, we tag team so whoever does pick up doesn’t do drop off etc, kids at after school club 2-3 days a week. I will pick up some work in the evening if necessary. Otherwise I play piano or do school Governor stuff after kids in bed.

Hair cut and colour every 8 weeks, can’t remember last time I shaved my legs. Grooming sounds wanky - I use minimal makeup if I go to work otherwise I don’t bother. Ditto meditation - sounds like Instagram wankery.

House takes back seat - it’s taken us 10 years to extend and decorate etc. Garden still a state. We don’t have family close by so we don’t spend time hanging out with family. I would see friends a couple of times a month - either pub night or hang out with the kids.

Kids mostly domesticated and doing well in school. I don’t much watch television so am lost when it comes to pop culture. I am ruthless about prioritising my own well being and sacking off anything I think is pointless nonsense.

Also would I bollocks get up at 4:30 - it’s rare I’m up before 7am. I do go to bed most nights before 11 though.

I also don’t buy into self improvement for the sake of Instagram/self improvement. Yes - I exercise because it’s good for me, I enjoy it and I can eat more stuff, but I don’t do meditation from some vague sense that I should somehow be doing it because Insta/Facebook.

Exercise doesn't have to be an hour at a time and isn't just working out at a gym. Socialising isn't always meeting up for a night out, it could be a text conversation or a skype call.

Well, in that case, I guess I can add exercising back into my list (although I don’t think I can, going by what others
consider to be genuine exercising).

And socialising is not a text conversation for people who actually prioritise (again) genuine socialising.

I do it all. I get it done when the dc are with their dad. I’d rather have an intact family and get less done.

I think the phrase ‘having it all’ is really unhelpful, because nobody can actually have everything.

Having said that, I maintained my career while having 3 children (back in the day too, so very short maternity leaves -and no childcare subsidies!) Key things for me have been:

1. first and foremost partnering someone who sees earning/ child rearing/ running a home as truly equal responsibilities. If on the odd occasion a child was ill and we couldn’t use childcare, we would alternate days off work. None of this nonsense that his job trumped mine

2. being prepared to throw money to pay for good quality childcare (highest priority) and then cleaner, ironer etc if funds were available

3. prioritising. Some things will slide a bit but make sure they’re the things which really don’t matter. It truly isn’t the end of the world if there are a few dirty dishes in the sink

4. don’t assume that things like grooming and keeping fit have to be horrendously expensive or time consuming. I’ve never belonged to a gym in my life. I’d hate to exercise in a sweaty, indoor environment. Instead, I’ve always had a brisk walk in my lunch hour, walked everywhere else where possible, drink gallons of water and eat a decent diet. Those things compensate for the fact I don’t want to spend an hour putting make up on every morning

You can do some but not all of those things.

Single parent. Successful career. I do: work, children, modest amount of fitness. Nothing else.

I spend no time on grooming if I can help it (I do go to the hairdresser but resent that time). I have a cleaner. I have no hobbies and next to no social life.

Spare time is spent on children’s needs which never reduce really - teenagers are just as demanding as toddlers but in a different way. Other family commitments. Organising a decent Christmas.

@PamDemic

Yes - lunch with friends, dinner and drinks, have friends over for dinner etc
Pre-corona, mostly twice a week id see friends, four times a year id go on weekends away with friends from uni

imo its not hard to juggle it all