Shall I just shove a tenner in a card in future?

[tennerinacard]

A month or so ago, I sent a good friend a birthday present for her dc, something that my dc of a similar age enjoyed playing with, and that I genuinely thought would be liked.

I didn't receive any acknowledgement for afore said present, and this evening she has posted it for free on a small fb group along with some other unwanted crap. She knows I am in this group and therefore will have seen it.

I don't know whether to put a comment like 'I'll have that back then!' in a jokey sort of way, or pretend I haven't seen it, realise that I am clearly shite at buying presents, and put aside the presents I've got for her dc at Christmas and just put a tenner in a card?

If you’ve still got the receipt ask on the marketplace if your friend would like it so she can take the toy back and get something her kid would prefer. Will get the point across without having a go.

@tennerinacard

Stupidly, I have just liked her post snd commented that I would like the present back then, with a smiley face attached, because that means I am not totally offended, right?

Exquisite!

Not stupid at all!

I would have to say something

I would not bother anymore. X

@tennerinacard You'll tell us what happens next won't you?

Perfect OP.

She has been so unbelievably unnecessarily rude.

Don’t say anything. I put an item on a local site forgetting which had given it me (over 10 years earlier) and they messaged me. I was mortified and still have it as I feel guilty every time I see it!

My stepmum once gave me something back I'd given her. Regifting really needs an excel spreadsheet

@tennerinacard

Stupidly, I have just liked her post snd commented that I would like the present back then, with a smiley face attached, because that means I am not totally offended, right?

Did she reply??

Good on you for calling her out!

Ask for your gift back via the site.

Don't waste your time or money or emotions with future presents.

Does she post stuff regularly? - maybe she's using her daughters presents as extra income in this way.

Sorry, just seen you've already asked for the gift back - let us all know how it goes.....

I'm glad you e asked for it back OP. This upset me so much. How very rude and spiteful of your friend. Once you have gift back I would be sending a text or making a phonecall saying no more gifts for each other and our dcs in future. Sorry she has done this to you I wish I had friends as thoughtful as you

Good for you OP

Well done op!

You made the right decision OP.

You did exactly what I’d have done and was just about to suggest it.

I applaud your balls and need to know what she says!

Well done you!

Well done OP for standing up for yourself, don't bother buying gifts for her or her DC again

I'm going against the grain here- I don't think she's done anything wrong.
Would you rather she sold it or kept a gift her kids obviously don't want?

You're being a bit of a dick about it, chill. No you shouldn't be petty and ask for it back.
Get over it

Just seen update.... Petty as fuck

I've noticed a friend of mine is always selling loads of stuff and seen that recently she's put up for sale loads of things that I've previously brought her as gifts for her, her DH & DS.
Some of these things she's had for a while but the majority are pristine and still in the box!
So I'm not bothering this year!
Clearly a waste of my money! Plus she's trying to sell it at a higher cost than I paid for it - for some reason that irritates more than if she had given it away.

Been doing that for years lol

I got a hideously expensive, hideous gift from a close friend that I felt like I couldn't get rid of. I kept it for years until I couldn't bear it any longer and gifted it to charity pretending it had broken. I've tried to give really big hints about potential presents ever since. It's been a bit hit and miss.

I helped her move house a few years ago and she gave me a bag of unused crap for me to pass on to a charity. It was full of presents I'd given her in the past.

Going against the grain here, clearly, but I don’t think she’s deliberately caused some heinous offence.

I recently had both a baby and a big birthday and was very lucky to be gifted some nice stuff, but the sort of nice stuff I will just never use.

Nice hand cream sort of thing when I probably use two blobs a year. Stocking-filler type things vaguely related to my interests that just won’t be used. Baby was given so many clothes he had grown out of them or they weren’t in season when they fit.

It would’ve been ruder at the time to say no thanks, I won’t use it, take your expensive hand cream back or “baby is too hot for hand knitted sweaters that you’ve spent hours on and look adorable but aren’t practical.”

Some has gone to charity, some given away on Facebook, some put on eBay for postage. I do worry hugely about the people who gifted seeing it though, so amore careful than your friend in sending stuff places it hopefully won’t be seen by the gifter.

It doesn’t mean I wasn’t grateful for the thought or that I never want them to bother again. It’s just the way it is. I actually think it was ruder to draw attention to it.