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Original poster

Shall I just shove a tenner in a card in future?

130 replies

tennerinacard · 28/11/2020 20:52

A month or so ago, I sent a good friend a birthday present for her dc, something that my dc of a similar age enjoyed playing with, and that I genuinely thought would be liked.

I didn't receive any acknowledgement for afore said present, and this evening she has posted it for free on a small fb group along with some other unwanted crap. She knows I am in this group and therefore will have seen it.

I don't know whether to put a comment like 'I'll have that back then!' in a jokey sort of way, or pretend I haven't seen it, realise that I am clearly shite at buying presents, and put aside the presents I've got for her dc at Christmas and just put a tenner in a card?

OP posts:
BlackCatShadow · 29/11/2020 09:48

What I mean is don't worry about putting money in a card or sending chocolates or anything like that. Just wish them a Merry Christmas and that's enough.

Original poster
tennerinacard · 29/11/2020 10:18

@BlackCatShadow don't worry, you didn't upset me! What you have said hits the nail on the head, thank you.

OP posts:
Original poster
tennerinacard · 29/11/2020 10:33

@farawayplanet I get that. As I said, I sent her a pic before I got it so she had the chance to say thanks but no thanks then!

OP posts:

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Christmas
MrsDThomas · 29/11/2020 10:34

What a cheeky cunt!

Forget about giving anything next time. Not even a card.

ILoveYoga · 29/11/2020 10:50

OP

You, yourself said that if you (D.C.?) got an unwanted gift would regift it or give to charity shop. So why on earth would you ask did this back?

Best to chalk it up to experience and move in. But also use as a learning experience. If you’re swapping gifts for each of your children, now is the time to agree not to do this. Do it now so there is no confusion about Xmas presents.

If you’re comfortable still swapping just between yourself and your friend, say that you’d like go do that. BUT do realise that if you give her something she does not end up using, you may see on the same page.

As regards the current gift, it may well be that your friend thought her child would like it when you sent the photo but once they got it, said child wasn’t interested That would excuse putting it out there for whomever would like it. It does not, however, excuse no acknowledgement of the gift.

JauntyMcGinty · 29/11/2020 10:59

@ILoveYoga

OP

You, yourself said that if you (D.C.?) got an unwanted gift would regift it or give to charity shop. So why on earth would you ask did this back?

Best to chalk it up to experience and move in. But also use as a learning experience. If you’re swapping gifts for each of your children, now is the time to agree not to do this. Do it now so there is no confusion about Xmas presents.

If you’re comfortable still swapping just between yourself and your friend, say that you’d like go do that. BUT do realise that if you give her something she does not end up using, you may see on the same page.

As regards the current gift, it may well be that your friend thought her child would like it when you sent the photo but once they got it, said child wasn’t interested That would excuse putting it out there for whomever would like it. It does not, however, excuse no acknowledgement of the gift.

It's totally different to regift or give unwanted presents to charity because it's not in the face of the original giver. OP's friend has been really thoughtless
papaelf · 29/11/2020 11:08

I wouldn't even send a card let alone a tenner. Not because of the selling attempt but because she is a cunt of a friend for not saying thank you. I'm quite harsh when it comes to basic things though.

Fleamaker123 · 29/11/2020 11:22

Two issues that would really brass me off.. It takes what, seconds to send a text these days to say thank you. That's very basic manners.
But as to giving the gift away, well I would look on the bright side. I would use it as an opportunity to have a 'shall we forget about presents for the kids in future and save our money for something else' conversation. Job done.

AuntieDolly · 29/11/2020 11:36

How would you feel if she said it was a duplicate and she would never give away something you bought for her child and how could you even think that?
Tread carefully. However, not thanking you is a dick move

mooncakes · 29/11/2020 13:14

Just the fact that she was too rude to even acknowledge your gift had arrived would be enough for me to decide not to do gifts anymore.

Maybe this is her way of letting you know she doesn't want to do gifts anymore - her children get enough stuff and she doesn't have the space?

Either way, cards only from now on. I wouldn't mention anything about the post though.

lazylump72 · 29/11/2020 15:24

You know thelike bitton on fb ? Well ignore that and just press the WOW emoji ..do it now and say no more about it...she will get the message.

lazylump72 · 29/11/2020 15:25

like button sorry!!

twilightcafe · 29/11/2020 15:27

Rude! I've have asked on the Facebook site for the present back.

Original poster
tennerinacard · 29/11/2020 18:48

Stupidly, I have just liked her post snd commented that I would like the present back then, with a smiley face attached, because that means I am not totally offended, right?

OP posts:
peboh · 29/11/2020 18:53

Could it have been that she didn't remember it was you who gifted it, and dc just doesn't play with it? I can honestly never remember who bought my dd what, and I've given things away she hasn't played with.

satnighttakeaway · 29/11/2020 18:54

Can you be absolutely certain she didn't get 2? I'm going to predict that she'll tell you it was a duplicate and of course she kept yours

Original poster
tennerinacard · 29/11/2020 18:55

Nope, def not a duplicate and def she knew who sent it.

OP posts:
JauntyMcGinty · 29/11/2020 19:01

@tennerinacard

Stupidly, I have just liked her post snd commented that I would like the present back then, with a smiley face attached, because that means I am not totally offended, right?
Good on ya! Hoorah for emojis...
Maverick66 · 29/11/2020 19:03

I would message and say you find it difficult picking the right gift for people and that you have decided not to exchange gifts anymore. Save yourself a load of hassle.

LauraAshleySofa · 29/11/2020 19:06

Well, now you're just just stealing the joy from whoever actually needed that gift from the regifting page on Facebook.

Why would you do that?

Are you looking for reasons to fall out with your friend? Have you outgrown the friendship? People do grow apart you don't need to create conflict to distance yourself from them.

Do you want to stop doing gifts. If you can't gift without expectation of something in return then don't give gifts. Surely she thanked you when you initially sent her the picture of the gift.

Gifts are supposed to be a gesture of goodwill, given for the joy of giving and nothing more.

FestiveChristmasLights · 29/11/2020 19:06

@tennerinacard

Stupidly, I have just liked her post snd commented that I would like the present back then, with a smiley face attached, because that means I am not totally offended, right?
I’d have asked for it back on the post as well. Not sure I’d have been as nice as to smile as well.
FestiveChristmasLights · 29/11/2020 19:07

@LauraAshleySofa

Well, now you're just just stealing the joy from whoever actually needed that gift from the regifting page on Facebook.

Why would you do that?

Are you looking for reasons to fall out with your friend? Have you outgrown the friendship? People do grow apart you don't need to create conflict to distance yourself from them.

Do you want to stop doing gifts. If you can't gift without expectation of something in return then don't give gifts. Surely she thanked you when you initially sent her the picture of the gift.

Gifts are supposed to be a gesture of goodwill, given for the joy of giving and nothing more.

Nobody needs a gift.
Worriedandabitscared · 29/11/2020 19:09

@tennerinacard

I've just double checked the post and it's most definitely the one I gave her. Same colour snd model.

Ugh, I feel a bit crappy now. But I don't think I'll say anything, too embarrassed. And looking at the gifts I got for her kids for Christmas, I don't think I'll send them either. I can find other homes for them.

Maybe put the Christmas gifts on the site and put "unwanted Christmas gifts" and let them go to someone who'll actually appreciate them and then if she asks about the DC Xmas gifts say you saved her the trouble of posting them herself, how rude of her!
coconutpie · 29/11/2020 19:14

@tennerinacard

Stupidly, I have just liked her post snd commented that I would like the present back then, with a smiley face attached, because that means I am not totally offended, right?
Good for you OP, you were right to do that.
Lsquiggles · 29/11/2020 19:17

You were definitely right to comment, is this out of character for her or is she usually an ungrateful cow? Shock

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