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Original poster

Shall I just shove a tenner in a card in future?

130 replies

tennerinacard · 28/11/2020 20:52

A month or so ago, I sent a good friend a birthday present for her dc, something that my dc of a similar age enjoyed playing with, and that I genuinely thought would be liked.

I didn't receive any acknowledgement for afore said present, and this evening she has posted it for free on a small fb group along with some other unwanted crap. She knows I am in this group and therefore will have seen it.

I don't know whether to put a comment like 'I'll have that back then!' in a jokey sort of way, or pretend I haven't seen it, realise that I am clearly shite at buying presents, and put aside the presents I've got for her dc at Christmas and just put a tenner in a card?

OP posts:
bananaboats · 28/11/2020 21:33

Very rude of her but I wouldn't ask for it back just a lesson learned for the future I think!

eaglejulesk · 28/11/2020 21:38

She's an ungrateful witch! I would say nothing, but there would be no further gifts from me, and I would be cooling off on the friendship. Bad enough not to acknowledge the gift, but giving it away like that where you can see it Hmm

wowfudge · 28/11/2020 21:45

Yes - ask her for it. What an awful withing for her to do. If you still have the receipt you could get the money back and never give her anything again.

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confusedx3 · 28/11/2020 21:50

I would also comment on the post and ask for it. your friend has been incredibly rude.

Original poster
tennerinacard · 28/11/2020 21:51

I've just double checked the post and it's most definitely the one I gave her. Same colour snd model.

Ugh, I feel a bit crappy now. But I don't think I'll say anything, too embarrassed. And looking at the gifts I got for her kids for Christmas, I don't think I'll send them either. I can find other homes for them.

OP posts:
SatyajitRayFan · 28/11/2020 21:54

I would ask for it in the FB group and never again bother with gifts or a tenner.

Pinkyandthebrainz · 28/11/2020 21:56

Yes I always just give money. Who can be arsed keeping up with what individual kid likes?

scoobydoo1971 · 28/11/2020 22:19

Pick better friends and don't give anything this Christmas as that draws a line under this. Clearly she is being rude or tactless.

Staffy1 · 28/11/2020 22:22

Ask for it back and give it to her DC for their next birthday.

aeiouaeiouaeiou · 28/11/2020 22:23

I'd call her out. Maybe say that you've seen the post and realise the gift you bought is unwanted/unsuitable and would she prefer if you didn't exchange gifts in the future.

tempnamechange98765 · 28/11/2020 22:26

This is really mean. Very thoughtless at best, at worst, very unkind.

Don't give any future gifts to her DC.

Curious what the gift was as well?

NotTheToothFairy22 · 28/11/2020 22:29

Like the post, that way she'll know you've seen it.

Iwonder08 · 28/11/2020 22:30

She is a cow, don't ever buy any presents for her/her children. Don't send money either. If she ever asks why explain you saw the post you gave away the present and how it was deliberately done publicly

iMatter · 28/11/2020 22:30

Just send a card in future. No money, no present.

NotTheToothFairy22 · 28/11/2020 22:31

Actually, no, don't like it. Just message her and say you saw it, no point beating around the bush. I wouldn't bother with money in a card either.

NeonIcedcoffee · 28/11/2020 22:31

I'm shit at keeping quiet so I'd say oh I'll have that back.

WhereverIGoddamnLike · 28/11/2020 22:32

So you actually send her a photo beforehand and checked that it would be a suitable and wanted gift? And she said yes but us now giving it away for free?

I assume she knows that you're a single parent and you're on a budget.... but she was happy to say yes and let you spend that money then she just gives it away? In that situation, I would have to say something. I'd have to message her and say something like "Hi X. I'm a little bit shocked to be honest. I've just seen that you're giving away the gift I sent for free on FB. You know I'm on a budget, which is why I checked with you beforehand that the gift was a good choice because I cant afford to waste money. To see you giving it away for free, after not even saying thank you, has really hurt me. You could have just told me it wasnt suitable when I asked and saved us all the trouble. I certainly wont be sending gifts in the future"

Penny31 · 28/11/2020 22:42

I would message and say ‘oh no did your dc not like my gift!? that’s a shame I’ll have it back and give it to someone else’

startingagainagain · 28/11/2020 22:46

Don’t get her anything again and don’t bother with the money either

DelurkingAJ · 28/11/2020 22:46

OP can you move away to getting gifts for friends DC. We don’t for exactly this reason...we’d all rather spend the cash saved on a bigger present for our own DCs! Only exception is godchildren and nieces and nephews.

WeatherwaxOn · 28/11/2020 22:50

See, I'd like the post and ask to be in line for it. Then I wouldn't bother with any gifts for her again.

wishywashywoowoo70 · 28/11/2020 22:55

@WhereverIGoddamnLike

So you actually send her a photo beforehand and checked that it would be a suitable and wanted gift? And she said yes but us now giving it away for free?

I assume she knows that you're a single parent and you're on a budget.... but she was happy to say yes and let you spend that money then she just gives it away? In that situation, I would have to say something. I'd have to message her and say something like "Hi X. I'm a little bit shocked to be honest. I've just seen that you're giving away the gift I sent for free on FB. You know I'm on a budget, which is why I checked with you beforehand that the gift was a good choice because I cant afford to waste money. To see you giving it away for free, after not even saying thank you, has really hurt me. You could have just told me it wasnt suitable when I asked and saved us all the trouble. I certainly wont be sending gifts in the future"

This is exactly what you should do
Whoopsmahoot · 28/11/2020 23:11

Best rise above it , say nothing and no more presents in the future.

catnoir1 · 28/11/2020 23:15

Are you on a barter page op?

grassisjeweled · 28/11/2020 23:17

I'd keep quiet and wait until she contacts you and inevitably wants something from you, I bet

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