When you think you're on mute, but you're not...

[HavelockVetinari]

Fucksticks

I was on a Microsoft Teams call this morning - if you're not familiar with this app, a key feature is that when a person is speaking their name or picture will be kind of highlighted on the screen so you can tell who's saying what.

I've had a bit of tummy trouble recently, resulting in a lot of wind. During this morning's meeting I needed to fart, so since I was on mute, I let rip with a MASSIVE one, I swear planes passing overhead felt the turbulence.

Reader, I was not on mute. The whole fucking meeting paused, a couple of people clearly got the giggles and turned off their camera/mic, and the others stared in appalled silence before carrying on as though nothing had happened. I was (and am) horrified, I have to work with these people, I need them to respect me, not think about me breaking wind. Argh!

My Friday top tip to all of you - CHECK YOUR MUTE BUTTON!

I really feel for you, this is my worst nightmare!!!

Oh dear, poor you!
The correct response is to say aggressively "And I want that minuted" I believe.

Here's Leslie Nielsen doing it in style:

I'm on a teams call at the moment and struggling now to laugh on camera.

You need to blame it on a dragging chair leg or something. Be brazen if anyone mentions it - 'Sorry, what? Maybe you heard DP moving the piano to be tuned this morning?'.

Oh OP I am dying a thousand deaths for you ! Bloody funny though, as is the Naked Gun clip

Oh op! Just brazen it out - surely if there are several of you in the zoom meeting no one need know it was you...? Or alternatively resign immediately and leave the country under cover of darkness (which is probably what I would do tbh). Sorry to laugh, but...

I cannot usually tell who's speaking so I would play ignorant.

Weirdly I was on a Teams call this morning and a colleague looked like she was muted (ie the mute symbol appeared on her window) but she wasn't.

I did this on Zoom a few weeks ago (also tummy trouble), the host had it turned to speaker view so when I let rip then entire freaking audience saw my face highlighted on their screen.

Thankfully, I was leaving that job to focus full time on my second job so I didn't have to live it down or anything...

But yes, check your mute.

Oh dear!!
I’m not sure if this will make you feel better, but I was on a very professional sedate Teams meeting last week to meet the new Director of HR along with everyone else. DH kept coming in my office and making noise, so I muted and then told him to fuck off I’m a the call with the new big cheese.
Yep, I wasn’t on mute.

I'm sorry OP but that made me LOL. I think it was your description on the overhead planes that did it for me.

Seriously, blame it on the dog or something.

DH told me he was going to be on a Zoom call to a couple of his friends/colleagues whom he's known since they were all students together 20-odd years ago. I commando-crawled into the room behind him and put a Mexican hat on his head. He had finished the call with his friends and was talking very seriously to some eminent professor in the US

Crying at these

Sorry OP, I would be mega cringing as well!

Ah you're perfectly safe, who would have known it was you?
(My household is currently in stitches at your expense btw)

I think OP was on speaker view, so her face would have popped up at the time of the crime

0_

You've probably given them the best laugh they've had in ages at work.
They'll love you for that.
BIG PLUS - they didn't have to smell it either!

[quote maggienolia]Oh dear, poor you!
The correct response is to say aggressively "And I want that minuted" I believe.

Here's Leslie Nielsen doing it in style:

[/quote] 🤣

I was having a rubbish morning op and you've really cheered me up, so something good came of it

Oh you're kidding, what the heck is speaker view? I have use Teams, does that mean that I have that? Oh these online meetings are becoming terrifying!!

Speaker view is where every time someone speaks, their webcam is the one everyone sees- you become the main view on everyone's screen when there's noise. So it's like a conversation, you look at who's talking!

(hence Teams picks up a fart as a conversation starter, which I suppose it is )

oh no OP! In these situations, such as getting more drunk than expected at a work party, I think everyone is sitting there desperately grateful it was not them. They're not that bothered who it actually was or judging them.

We have all sensibly decided not to have cameras on in our meetings for “security reasons” so I though I was safe. Except my large dog was trying to get under my desk and I was trying to stop him. So I was puff and panting and the dog was huffing and panting until I managed to shove him forcibly out the room. Sat down and there’s a message on my phone saying I wasn’t on mute! Very hard to make people believe I was struggling with a dog and not some afternoon delight.

@spiderlight

DH told me he was going to be on a Zoom call to a couple of his friends/colleagues whom he's known since they were all students together 20-odd years ago. I commando-crawled into the room behind him and put a Mexican hat on his head. He had finished the call with his friends and was talking very seriously to some eminent professor in the US

That is AWESOME!

Thanks for all the suggestions as to how I might've styled it out at the time - unfortunately none of these occurred to me at the time, and to make matters worse I could see my own face on the screen slowly turning tomato-red (I have a fair complexion) over the next 30 seconds. It was awful, and SO obvious it was me! Argh, Argh, I will have to resign!

And OMG, on the chat bar later in the call (that I've only just read!) some bastard made an ENTIRELY transparent reference to Trump that could only have been aimed at me.

Earth, swallow me now!!

At least you’ve given them all a laugh 😆

Hahaha I'd blame it on the chair or the invisible dog sat on the floor that they cannot see.