Am I wrong to keep this secret?

[JorisBonson]

DH on a long shift today, not home until about 8. Being the dutiful working from home wife I am, dinner has been in the slow cooker all day so he has a hot meal ready when he gets home.

After smelling it all day and feeling under the weather, I don't want it and I've ordered myself Chinese to perk myself up.

Would I be totally unreasonable to scoff the lot (washed down with a bucket of wine), hide the evidence, and then proclaim how delicious the Spanish chicken stew was?

(Lighthearted, obvs).

YABU. Just order Chinese for both or eat the stew.

@LindaEllen

I can smell Chinese a mile off when DP has ordered a sneaky takeout when I've been doing something else - so make sure you've hidden this part of the evidence, too!! Hope you enjoyed :). Cats are notorious for nicking malteasers, by the way. Act surprised if your DH claims not to already know this.

I have genuinely had a cat that used to make off with maltesers. I didn't know about chocolate being poisonous to cats at the time, and he must have had a stomach of steel, becuase he never showed the slightest ill effect from them. Clearly, the cat also brought in the chinese boxes from the neighbour's kitchen... you had to put them outside so the neighbours would never know about the theiving cat!

you're going to fall down on smell

Love that sentence

What did you order OP? Craving a Chinese now 😂

Why can't you order chinese for both of you? I don't think it is very fair for you to have it and not your OH. I wouldn't do that and neither would DH

I'm puzzled.
Doesn't everyone do this sort of thing?

I do this and I don't even have a partner! I'll be slow cooking something, can't be arsed and call a takeaway.

@LindaEllen

I can smell Chinese a mile off when DP has ordered a sneaky takeout when I've been doing something else - so make sure you've hidden this part of the evidence, too!! Hope you enjoyed :). Cats are notorious for nicking malteasers, by the way. Act surprised if your DH claims not to already know this.

In our household, it's alsatians that do that. Based on a family story from the 1960s when somebody had returned from the pub on Christmas Eve and definitely saw an alsatian escaping from the open kitchen window with a turkey leg in its mouth.

Everybody stared at this wholly reliable witness as he floundered around attempting to persuade everyone that an alsatian had done all this without disturbing anything else in the kitchen (it would have needed to have landed on the dish drainer and sink if it had come in through and exited by the window).

More astonishingly, the alsatian had used the carving knife and fork to remove the leg, and helped itself to a sealed tin of vacuum-packed nuts as well as an extraordinary amount of the tin of Roses.

@MrsMoastyToasty

Open all the windows and doors for 10 minutes to disperse the Chinese food smell. Then spray a bit of furniture polish into the air to create that "haven't I been productive? I've just polished the furniture" effect.

Strangely enough I had a spray can delivered by post today, that'd do the trick.

I was a bit alarmed by how much I liked the smell, I don't have a background glue sniffing yoof. If I go back for a repurchase someone stop me in my tracks.

Hope chinese safely consumed now, OP!

I’m afraid divorce would be on the table, on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour with deceit thrown in for good measure

DH did this for me once when he was on a late shift and I had a friend over to keep me company. We ended up getting take away, hid the evidence in the park bin and my friend took the slow cooked food home to eat for her lunch the next day. I have no idea why we thought we had to hide what we did (copious amounts of wine had been drunk 😂)

@Georgyporky

I'm puzzled. Doesn't everyone do this sort of thing?

No

@MrsMoastyToasty

Open all the windows and doors for 10 minutes to disperse the Chinese food smell. Then spray a bit of furniture polish into the air to create that "haven't I been productive? I've just polished the furniture" effect.

Mum, is that you?!

This was a piece of genius housekeeping wisdom my Mother taught me, I’ve never heard anyone else say it before!

You're missing out on one of life's pleasures

@lynsey91

I have done this....I wont say how many times.

YANBU!

Make sure you spray the house with air freshener to ensure he has no idea.

@JorisBonson

There are candles a plenty lit to stop the house smelling like the slow cooker - I think I might have got away with this! He'll be home in an hour 😂

You'll be drunk as a skunk after the bucket of wine, he'll come home and notice the candles and think you've planned a romantic evening for him after his long shift, he'll be hoping you'll eat dinner with him (still hungry OP?) and then go to bed for a long session together

Be glad you're not married to me.

I have the nose of a bloodhound and would know upon entry that chinese takeaway had been there...

I can't be the only one thinking this actually doesn't seem very light-hearted. It's just a bit mean and weird, I can't understand why you didn't just arrange a Chinese for the both of you and keep the slow cooker stuff for another night or put it in the freezer. Or at the very least call him and tell him you couldn't be arsed with the stew and would he like you to get him a Chinese as you had a hankering for one or if he just wanted the stew.

The only reason you "hid the evidence" must be because you felt guilty at not getting him a Chinese too, or asking him if he wanted one. I've never hid any food containers, why would that even cross your mind to do that?

I can't be the only one thinking this actually doesn't seem very light-hearted. It's just a bit mean and weird, I can't understand why you didn't just arrange a Chinese for the both of you and keep the slow cooker stuff for another night or put it in the freezer.

exactly. It's just... meh.

Only on Mumsnet could I be called mean and weird 😂

He's very upset with the cat for eating all the chocolate, so I'm making him crumpets to compensate.

@Frownette

You're missing out on one of life's pleasures

What, lying to my husband?

It is weird though. Why not just text him and say "I don't fancy what I made for dinner, do you want some Chinese?". I don't understand why its a secret?