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ADs trying to stay upright in a muddy park

985 replies

BogRollBOGOF · 22/11/2020 15:55

Another thousand posts filled and we're ploughing on through another weekend of squelching through parks before we hit the Long Dark Teatime of the Soul.

The AD chat continues...

OP posts:
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11
TabbyStar · 28/11/2020 19:43

My friend had just suggested that the hospital my teenage DD is in (with what could have been a life-threatening infection though it's under control now) should call the police on her because she's staying with her BF, which is illegal Shock. FFS. I am sick of the way this country is divided because of the complete incompetence and mismanagement of this virus. If DD had been too scared to go to hospital because she was worried about the police, she would have died.

NannyGythaOgg · 28/11/2020 19:51

I have Turkish friends on Facebook, one of whom is my optician over there. (See him once or twice a year max and he remembers my name) He has just posted about being ill and then having 'the chinese vaccine' and feeling better - and from there on his post gradually changes from Turkish to chinese characters. Love it.

AcornAutumn · 28/11/2020 20:23

@TabbyStar

My friend had just suggested that the hospital my teenage DD is in (with what could have been a life-threatening infection though it's under control now) should call the police on her because she's staying with her BF, which is illegal Shock. FFS. I am sick of the way this country is divided because of the complete incompetence and mismanagement of this virus. If DD had been too scared to go to hospital because she was worried about the police, she would have died.
Good grief

I hope hospitals don’t start doing that

Anything seems possible in the regime we are now.

NannyGythaOgg · 28/11/2020 20:41

Is she still a friend?

Mute those that have different views fine but if anyone suggested the police were called on my daughter for that (even though the police would not be interested) they would definitely be an ex friend - no matter how much history.

MercyBooth · 28/11/2020 20:41

Good God.

twitter.com/helenhims/status/1332676003357990912?s=20

Helen Hims
@helenhims
·
7h
Just been helping my 96 year old Aunt (who is in a care home) choose what she'd like to order for her Christmas lunch. The menu says: "It will be delivered to your room with a hat, a cracker & a glass of wine"!

Can you think of anything sadder than this?

bakingcupcakes · 28/11/2020 20:46

@MercyBooth

Good God. twitter.com/helenhims/status/1332676003357990912?s=20

Helen Hims
@helenhims
·
7h
Just been helping my 96 year old Aunt (who is in a care home) choose what she'd like to order for her Christmas lunch. The menu says: "It will be delivered to your room with a hat, a cracker & a glass of wine"!

Can you think of anything sadder than this?

That's just depressing.

I had the 'menu' from school for DS's Xmas lunch the other day. The school can no longer supply hot meals (y'know cos of covid) so the children are getting a turkey sandwich and a sausage. Needless to say I'll be providing DS with a packed lunch as if it's not a 'proper dinner' he doesn't want it.

AcornAutumn · 28/11/2020 20:54

Mercy I saw that too. I can’t even....!

TabbyStar · 28/11/2020 20:55

I don't think my friend had really thought it through, though he is a bit on the dementor side. The idea that you'd scare sick people away from healthcare is terrible, and something I'm all too familiar with already from working with people from abroad, particularly vulnerable women in abusive relationships or who've been trafficked who were kept away from health and social services with the threat that they would be arrested and/or deported if they approached them. Anyway I didn't have the energy to deal with it, we had a bit of a clash and I asked him to leave, I'll deal with it another time when I haven't been up since the early hours. There were some upsetting scenes from some demo today too with the police arresting people, including Santa apparently, so that's everyone's Christmas ruined!

That's terrible Mercy. I'd be ready to bust my relative out! Though I have a DM who will probably isolate herself, though she had to be with me this week with medical emergencies and nothing terrible happened, so maybe she will rethink.

MercyBooth · 28/11/2020 21:00

There was a doctor ( i think it was a doctor) on Newsnight last night saying different generations shouldnt mix. I honestly think they have no idea how some people have to live.

My niece is 25 and lives with my 84 year old parents.

Maybe the higher ups in the NHS should actually start having proper conversations with the ones who work in the same organisation who work as carers and cleaners and live in small cramped rented housing.

AcornAutumn · 28/11/2020 21:06

@MercyBooth

There was a doctor ( i think it was a doctor) on Newsnight last night saying different generations shouldnt mix. I honestly think they have no idea how some people have to live. My niece is 25 and lives with my 84 year old parents.

Maybe the higher ups in the NHS should actually start having proper conversations with the ones who work in the same organisation who work as carers and cleaners and live in small cramped rented housing.

They get paid about £200 ish every time they spout shit on tv I think.

A doctor will certainly know how people live.

Sadly so many people are getting psycopathic pleasure out of this.

DominaShantotto · 28/11/2020 21:09

Well we've sorted out Xmas - going to my mum's then they offered to have the kids into the new year so I can clear the backlog of uni assignments before the next term of trudging through online shit that barely works starts. They're a childcare bubble with us - although one we only call on during half term holidays!

They don't even need to make Christmas sound grim now - they've sewn the seeds and the internet arseholes are doing it for them splendidly - all the "I can't understand how anyone possibly thinks Christmas is worth all the danger" tinsel shaming going on everywhere else. In the real world no one I know of is fully following the rules anymore - and closing non essential retail the month before December has just made the local Tesco so rammed full you couldn't get a parking space today - everyone who would have gone elsewhere for trees, decorations etc has had limited options so trotted off to the supermarkets - so that's helped a lot hasn't it?! Likewise - the reduced festive travel period and the student travel window - that means that our course have had to condense some face-to-face events down in time and increase the numbers on campus, and there are going to be more people at motorway service stations etc... so it just seems so fucking counter productive. They were seriously thinking we would give each other a lump of coal and stay at home?!

People NEED interaction - they NEED those social connections - people marvel at the periodic table, but for me I think one of the most beautiful things in the world (when I'm not swearing at having to learn it) is the IPA chart of all the sounds in human languages around the world - it's like the essence of what makes us human, fitted onto an A4 sheet of paper - we have the need to connect and communicate and physically touch our loved ones - and people now are really really suffering - we've turned our universities into prisons, our schools into freezing cold fortresses of misery, our care homes into cell blocks and it's just horrific. People have been blocked from all those support networks that get you through a shitty day - the cup of coffee with a friend, or even the smile from a little old lady in the supermarket at your toddler who is acting up that calms them down... and this is going to go on for over a year. It's absolutely horrific to put people through this - and they're begging for more more more?! I can't compute it anymore.

I was having a discussion with my placement supervisors the other day - and the mental health toll is really really really beginning to bite. I'm working with learning disabilities - and the service users having rules changed and being allowed to do things, then not allowed, and having their day centres and things they go to for their routine open and closed and open and closed is just making lives of people who function very well normally so so much harder.

DominaShantotto · 28/11/2020 21:11

Disclaimer I've been drinking (when am I not these days) so I'm rambling. I'm not sleeping particularly well, snowed under with our workload which has about quadrupled with online learning as we have to make up for timetabled sessions where the technology goes to shit, staff going off sick with stress, and staff struggling to know how much work to schedule us instead of getting to a lecture, banging through their powerpoint for 50 minutes and pootling off to the next one.

TheOrchidKiller · 28/11/2020 21:16

I am sure they are laying on the guilt because they know people will change their behaviour because of it. I resent their tactics. I'd rather be told a clear "no". We are adults, & I'm done with being treated like a child. It makes me so angry.

I wouldn't isolate anyone in the household either. We are lucky enough to have a spare room but there's no way either of us want to spend 2 weeks trying to sleep in the spare bed. When DF was shielding the official guidance was to eat his meals in a different room to DM. They said "stuff that", months of staying at home was bad enough, they were not going to give up sharing a bed as well.

@rosettesforjill
I feel your pain, am in a similar situation with family, & DM has a lot of rules to make her feel safe. It can be difficult dealing with that, & as PILs have terrible spatial awareness it's a recipe for stress if we have them all here. Would rather not bother, despite wanting to see people.

TabbyStar · 28/11/2020 21:26

Completely agree with you Domina even if you do think you were rambling, makes sense to me.

TheOrchidKiller · 28/11/2020 21:29

A doctor will certainly know how people live.
No disrespect if there are doctors on here, but as a non-doctor HCP I had a vague idea of how people lived when I worked on the hospital wards. And then I went to work in the community, & got a job which was basically visiting patients at home. That's when I really got to see how people live, & the complicated arrangements people have to make life work. We have been able to carry on seeing people at home throughout the pandemic- video consultations & phone calls don't show you the half of someone's social situation. Many families "broke the rules" by having extended bubbles & support systems in place for their vulnerable relatives. If they hadn't done that there would be so many more of those vulnerable people needing hospital admissions or emergency social care, & these informal care arrangements are the things that "save" the NHS & save lives, not staying indoors 24/7.

@Domina
You've put that so well, I couldn't agree more.

AcornAutumn · 28/11/2020 21:32

Domina that’s not waffle

It’s so well put I’d honestly send that to your MP.

Or submit it as a newspaper column. The language analogy is wonderful.

AcornAutumn · 28/11/2020 21:36

Orchid yes, I realised after I typed it

My dad was a doctor. I think his generation were much more...I dunno, normal? Less privileged. But he’d have been 81. I think in that generation rich families looked down on doctor as a profession. One of his best mates was a porter - sadly he’s no longer with us either.

So yes,ignore me. He’d have a heart attack about all this shite.

AcornAutumn · 28/11/2020 21:38

Speaking of people needing interaction, I feel bad as mum is so low today. I’m normally there all weekend but have some stuff that needs doing. No work Monday or Tuesday so I’ll be there then.

She just wants a cuppa with a neighbour or something. How can that be denied?! Insanity.

TabbyStar · 28/11/2020 21:43

He’d have a heart attack about all this shite.

My DF died last year, I think he would have died of apoplexy. In many ways I'm glad he's not around to have seen it, the rants about incompetence would have been overwhelming!

AcornAutumn · 28/11/2020 21:49

@TabbyStar

He’d have a heart attack about all this shite.

My DF died last year, I think he would have died of apoplexy. In many ways I'm glad he's not around to have seen it, the rants about incompetence would have been overwhelming!

Or indeed apoplexy.

Perhaps they’re in a pub in heaven saying to each other “the right hand doesn’t know what the left hand is doing”!

wanderings · 28/11/2020 21:51

A relatively sensible thread about conspiracy theories.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4091282-To-ask-what-is-the-conspiracy?watched=1&msgid=102164978#prettyPhoto

TabbyStar · 28/11/2020 21:55

Perhaps they’re in a pub in heaven saying to each other “the right hand doesn’t know what the left hand is doing”!

Grin

I think arse and elbow might have featured in there somewhere for my DF!

AcornAutumn · 28/11/2020 21:57

Tabby that was one of dad’s regular comments.

Sadly,if he can see me learning to play keyboard, it’s true....

AcornAutumn · 28/11/2020 21:58

Thanks wanderings

I popped on there to post this

www.theguardian.com/politics/2002/apr/21/uk.medicalscience

NannyGythaOgg · 28/11/2020 22:04

Perhaps they’re in a pub in heaven saying to each other “the right hand doesn’t know what the left hand is doing”!

I don't think the right hand will even admit that the left hand exists - or vice versa