Weirdest thing you've seen on a night out.

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

I was once in 'spoons (I know it says it all really) when a chap on the next table smashed a glass on the table and glassed himself in the forehead and said to his partner, as the blood poured down his face, "are you happy now?!".

Was in the same pub a couple of years earlier,, before it was a Spoons, and a fight broke out. Next thing someone hit another bloke on the back with a chair, just like they used to do in Westerns.

I have long since learned to say no to anyone who suggestions going to said pub

That pub sounds crazy @JiltedJohnsJulie

I saw a grown man get stuck in a baby swing and the fire brigade trying to cut him out

I once saw a man absolutely blind drunk try and climb over the bar in Reflex about 15 years ago trying to serve himself to drinks as he was fed up of waiting in the queue !

Bunny that sounds like a good night out

I was in a pub that had a courtyard that backed onto terraced houses. There was shots fired at one of the houses and the gunman ran through the courtyard and into the bar. He stopped to say hello to a couple of mates, while he still had the gun in his hand and his balaclava on. He then legged it out off the door.
Nobody batted an eye.

Sunmoon people are weird when they are drunk aren't they? I was once sober in a club and a man was arguing about being thrown out. He couldn't unstressed why urinating at the bar instead of going to the toilets wax an issue...

Sorry meant to say this was in Northern Ireland in the early 90's

Coco I think that is the maddest pub story I've ever heard

Walking back to my halls of residence one night saw two male friends walking along completely naked. They smiled and said hi and carried on as normal.

Waiting to get into a club in the 80’s
A fight between 3 men.
One man on the floor, one man kicking man on the floor, other man actually jumping on the man on floors head. Jumping on it, gaggle of bouncers stood watching...
I was outraged, stomped over in my stilettos and demanded they stop immediately.
They did, ran off, man on ground unconscious.
I shouted at the bouncers to ring an ambulance, and added that they should be ashamed of themselves for not intervening.

Huge queue of people, only me intervening. Everyone of them stood gawping.
Fucking out of order. Ruined my night completely.

Ruined my night completely.

^^

His too, I bet!

Picky that's truly awful and well done you for intervening

These are brilliant! And making me miss going out out!!

I once saw a bloke being bundled into the back of a police van, he was drunk and disorderly but also happened to be wearing a hanky knotted on his head. And his friend (not being hauled away) screamed at them "who are you?!?? The fashion police?!" It was so funny!

(Aside from the fights/shootings - they are clearly not brilliant)

Just that's properly made me laugh

Not me but someone I know saw a woman on the floor throwing up and shitting herself at the same time.

I was a waitress once in a upmarket hotel/golf club. The owner and his friends would get absolutely out of their minds drunk in the hotel bar, and once one of them ripped off his shirt open and threw beer all down himself and smashed his glass all over the table. The owner would constantly be taking himself off to do some lines of coke and would publicly piss outside. Looking back it was horrible having to serve them- I was only 21 and they were so inappropriate.

I worked in a town centre bar in the early noughties, a chap came in with a little cardboard box (like a happy meal box) set it down on the bar and had a few pints whilst talking to his mate.
About an hour after he left, he came screaming back into the pub "Did I leave my pigeon? I've put it down somewhere and lost the fucking thing!"

Turns out he'd just been to a pigeon fanciers market up the road.
Never did find out if he found it.

Almost forgot, I did once have to sit through a make stripper coming on to my boyfriend on a gay club...

I was once in a Chinese all you can eat. Turned out it was dodgy as fuck but I didn’t know that at the time. A bald bloke in his mid 30s came in with two women. One ~20 who was at least 8 months pregnant and one who was 18 max.

He was a horrible pig to them. Effing and blinding, calling them every name under the sun while shovelling noodles into his gob. Several other diners intervened and got a mouthful of abuse.

Pregnant woman got slowly to her feet, and threw a pint glass at his head, which cut him to ribbons and landed in the buffet behind him. He started screaming his head off, blood pouring off him. Tiny Chinese lady owner then came out armed with a butter knife and a plate as a shield and threw them all out.

I was agog. I hope to god they left him and never looked back.

A pub near the Old Kent road London and a woman simulating sex with the landlord through their clothes while her husband looked on - and sometimes joined in.

This used to make me feel v sad - a couple both drunk every Sunday in the same pub shovelling the free roasted potatoes into a carrier bag to take home to eat.

Another very sad one. Another couple both drunk, him very meek and mild. Wife would drunkenly point to her black eyes proudly exclaiming to anyone who was nearby "look how much he loves me"

@Cocolapew My first thought was 'Northern Ireland?' Then I immediately checked myself for making assumptions.

In a chip shop, after a night out, I stood next to a guy who ordered chips with garlic mayo, cheese, peas, stuffing, coleslaw, and curry sauce. He then emptied the content of the box on to counter and ate it with his fingers.

I’ve clearly not lived!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣