Properly shaken up - really hurt (intentionally) whilst shopping

[Vinosaurus]

I was in Tesco about an hour ago - it was pretty busy but people all had masks on and were trying their best in the main to keep their distance ... as was I.

I don't really know what happened exactly, or why he did it, but I was picking up some fromage frais - nobody particularly close by - and I suddenly got shoved from behind. Turned my head to be presented with a alpha male type who lifted his arm (trying to explain that this was very much intentional and meant to hurt) and elbowed me in the back of the ribs with some real force. It was enough to wind me and cause me some real pain.

He walked off pretty briskly but squared up to me (from a distance) when I shouted after him "what the hell do do you think you're doing? You're an idiot!" (not my finest moment and probably very unwise but I was so shocked), although I think he thought better of it when he realised how many people were around. I was walking away by then, trying to calm myself down (had horrid heart palpitations - probably due to the adrenaline!) and just get away from the situation.

A couple of women (separately) caught up to me to see if I was ok/say they'd seen what happened/congratulate me on pulling him up on it - which was very kind, but I am still super tearful and shaken up. I'm a 42 yr old woman, FFS, really need to get a grip, have a glass of wine and forget about it.

@ladyamy42069 you are so wrong. It is assault. Absolutely. (Police family here)

Fuss what bizarre behaviour by your MIL. And your poor DD.

@AcornAutumn

Fuss what bizarre behaviour by your MIL. And your poor DD.

Sadly it didn't surprise me. Her attitude was one of embarrassment. Similarly when a boy put this hand up Dd's skirt in the corridor one day she thought it ridiculous that we complained to the school and felt it was just "one of those things boys do".

I can't even say it was a generational attitude as my own mother, who was a fair bit older than MIL was appalled and I think had she been the one in the theatre she would have created a merry hell.

Thankfully DD paid no heed and is now an amazing young woman with a strong sense of right and wrong.

Fuss not generational, no. My mother certainly wouldn’t minimise this, she 82.

I wonder what their mental process is!

What a horrible thing to happen to you OP. Glad to hear that you reported it and hope you are feeling much better now

So sorry OP that’s awful

Op that's awful. I had a man get out of his car and punch my car and window because I wouldn't reverse on a road and let him pass. It was my right of way !

I had a newborn baby in the car with me and he ran off back to his car when poor DS cried

The police investigated and caught him but didn't prosecute just made him pay the money back for the damage

He was in the news 18 months later for assaulting someone on the m1. He was sent to prison

That’s awful penguin. An older man in an expensive car drove at Dh on his bike on purpose because he took exception to a cyclist daring to exist - Jeremy Clarkson type. Wind out of his sails when police turned up at his house later that day...

@puguin86

Op that's awful. I had a man get out of his car and punch my car and window because I wouldn't reverse on a road and let him pass. It was my right of way !

I had a newborn baby in the car with me and he ran off back to his car when poor DS cried

The police investigated and caught him but didn't prosecute just made him pay the money back for the damage

He was in the news 18 months later for assaulting someone on the m1. He was sent to prison

That’s awful!

I had a man screaming and swearing at my daughter and I when I walked her home from primary school one day. We were crossing a one way street and clearly inconvenienced him for a nanosecond.

He was going the wrong way down the one way street😏

Good on you for reporting, OP. I hope you’re feeling better after this horrible incident.

Take photos of any bruising, OP.

Hope they catch the bastard.

Well done OP for standing up for yourself and all his potential future victims by reporting this to the police. He sounds like a nasty little man who likes inflicting pain on women. This time he chose the wrong person (and well done for calling him out at the time). Your journey on this thread has been a fascinating trip inside the female psyche - our willingness to put up, our minimising and then our empowerment by support from other women - like a microcosm of the feminist movement).
Well done sister !

@Farewelltoqualms

Oh my goodness this sounds absolutely awful op. I hope you are feeling less shaky now.

This reminds me of the incident man when a man pushed a woman in to the path of a bus while he was out jogging, seemingly just because she was there and he could.

I don't think he was ever caught.

I remember that incident Farewell - it was shocking - in the real sense of the word. She could so easily have been killed.

@ladyamy42069

Assault can be any form of threatening behaviour.

When it becomes physical, it becomes battery, too.

@LionessRoar well done for leaving the bastard, it's amazing how much a man can impact our lives, even 15 years on. Am glad to have been of service 😁 (honestly makes the whole event worthwhile if it's helped you!).

All these stories of all your experiences - just agghhh - as my DB said last night, "we've come a long way as a society, but we've obviously got a long way to go".

Your journey on this thread has been a fascinating trip inside the female psyche - our willingness to put up, our minimising and then our empowerment by support from other women - like a microcosm of the feminist movement).

You're right - if it wasn't for you all I would have continued to minimise (and not recognise myself doing so) and wouldn't have reported. So thank you. There were quite a few tears last night - but by the end of the evening they were happy ones as a result of feeling so supported.

I'm OK, a bit of a bruise (have photoed it), but have woken up resolute in acting against misogyny, violent or otherwise, somehow (not entirely sure how yet).

You rock, Vinosaurus

Well done Op.

SchadenfreudePersonified yes the randomness and entitlement of it - just like in op's case - is really horrible. He obviously didn't think he'd done anything wrong because he ran back across the bridge 15 mins later and the lady confronted him about what he'd done and he ignored her. He was never identified and the theory was that he was a visitor to the capital or he was shielded by those who knew him. Despicable.

The video is terrifying - if it wasn't for the quick witted bus driver the outcome would have been utterly horrific. I hope that, even if he was protected by his nearest and dearest, they judge him very severely for his actions, so there's at least an element of suffering on his part. But being realistic - probably not.

I think the jogger is someone “important“ in some way and certainly will have been recognised.

My friend was involved in a multi car accident caused by one man speeding. At the scene, he begged everyone to sort it quietly because he’s a CEO or summat. He kept saying “I’ll pay whatever you want”.

It was too big to be kept from police and he lost his license because he had however many driving offences. My friend was in shock but she said it was really noticeable how amazed he was that people wanted the police involved, like he thought he could snap his fingers and everyone would do his bidding. She had quite bad whiplash but was so angry she barely noticed the pain.

@Vinosaurus I'm so pleased you decided to make those calls. Honestly. The thing about going through something like this is that it makes us question whether what happened was indeed "real" or whether we imagined it. I spent the last year worrying that an assault I sustained one evening in September actually happened: the PTSD mind plays tricks and you suddenly feel like you've made a right old mountain out of a molehill. Helpfully, the entire attack was caught on CCTV and I played no part in provoking it: it was entirely their decision. Stand up for what is right and I sincerely hope that the perpetrator is called to task for what he inflicted on you. Good luck.

I Was once just minding my own business waiting for a tram when a 6ft 4 bloke shoved into me when he was walking past then squared up to me calling me a dickhead, tat every name under the sun. Luckily the tram arrived and I got on. I literally never said a word the entire time and was just stood minding my own business

Scary how many angry people are out there, unless of course it's steroids or coke

I think at the very least these threads do point up to women what we need to do at the time.

We are all shocked into silence/freeze when these things happen - but reading on here at least we can see what we should do at the time - scream, report to security, police and make as much noise as possible. So many of these cowardly bullies rely on us being silenced, shocked, 'nice'.

Make noise. When it happens to you, make noise.

Thanks OP, now we know what do to.

I have a personal alarm which I have in my hand coming home late at night.

That hasn’t happened since March.

But maybe I should just carry it full stop. If it’s too shocking to speak up, I could pull the pin? That might be an idea for a few of us.

Thank you @Vinosaurus. I am very happy now but will definitely be checking my thoughts for any other ways I may be minimising myself or not withholding my personal boundaries. This thread was an eye opener for me and the fact that my initial response would be to not report.
Massive well done for facing this head on!