Properly shaken up - really hurt (intentionally) whilst shopping

[Vinosaurus]

I was in Tesco about an hour ago - it was pretty busy but people all had masks on and were trying their best in the main to keep their distance ... as was I.

I don't really know what happened exactly, or why he did it, but I was picking up some fromage frais - nobody particularly close by - and I suddenly got shoved from behind. Turned my head to be presented with a alpha male type who lifted his arm (trying to explain that this was very much intentional and meant to hurt) and elbowed me in the back of the ribs with some real force. It was enough to wind me and cause me some real pain.

He walked off pretty briskly but squared up to me (from a distance) when I shouted after him "what the hell do do you think you're doing? You're an idiot!" (not my finest moment and probably very unwise but I was so shocked), although I think he thought better of it when he realised how many people were around. I was walking away by then, trying to calm myself down (had horrid heart palpitations - probably due to the adrenaline!) and just get away from the situation.

A couple of women (separately) caught up to me to see if I was ok/say they'd seen what happened/congratulate me on pulling him up on it - which was very kind, but I am still super tearful and shaken up. I'm a 42 yr old woman, FFS, really need to get a grip, have a glass of wine and forget about it.

The stories on here are reminding me of the time I was elbowed in the face by a man while waiting outside of a shop. He was walking past and just as he got to me he lifted up his arm and thrust his elbow into my face and carried on walking. I think it was deliberate but I can't be sure, in any case I'm sure he noticed me topple over and just carried on walking.

It hurt like hell and caused a nosebleed as well as two black eyes. I'm not usually a spiteful person but I could cheerfully watch him get hit by a bus.

Oh and I really wish I had reported

Oh Christ @sqirrelfriends how awful for you! I don't see how something with that amount of force could have been anything but deliberate.

Glad you reported it and were taken seriously, OP.

There's something about a woman on a bike that seems to bring out the worst in some men. In the city where we used to live DH and I both cycled everywhere - to work, to the shops, etc. I was regularly shouted at by twats in Vauxhall Astras who had wound down the windows just to abuse me. I wasn't doing anything particularly provocative, annoying or illegal - just existing. Once, a group of teenage boys pelted me with stones as I cycled past. And, most scarily, once I was riding down a narrow one-way street that had cars parked on both sides (so no room for overtaking). I was followed down the street by a delivery van whose driver got more and more impatient, revving his engine aggressively, etc. I didn't see why I should pull over when my turning was only about 30 metres ahead, so I signalled that I was about to turn left (and he would be able to overtake in about 20 seconds). Not content with this, the van driver started butting my back wheel with his bumper . I managed not to fall underneath his wheels and execute my manoeuvre safely - then I pulled over and had to have a break, in complete shock at how aggressive and dangerous his behaviour had been.

Oh, and DH never once experienced any hostility or abuse while cycling around this city. He's no better a cyclist than I am - he's just male.

Oh, and an everyday misogynist violence website is a brilliant idea, @Vinosaurus!

Remember an ugly man just shaking with anger calling me a bitch c word etc because I couldn’t manoeuvre into a tiny space in a small car park and he was waiting. I gave up in the end and let him have the space. He couldn’t park in it either 😁😁 oh how I laughed as he wheel spun away!

The everyday male violence against women website is a terrific idea.

Perhaps instead of a website, or in the meantime at least, a hashtag that could be used across Twitter etc. Anyone in marketing or handy with a succinct phrase?

Isn’t there already and everyday male violence Twitter hashtag?

I can't find one smallsteps88

Ahh I’m sure their used to be one. I’m not even on Twitter anymore to have a look.

How are you doing @Vinosaurus? Hope you are okay after the incident.

What did you decide to do?

I'm OK mummytippy - thanks for asking, bit of a bruise and a bit achy still but nothing to write home about.

Tesco have been in touch a couple of times. First to ask for my clubcard number as they couldn't find me on the video and wanted to trace me back from the till, and the second to say they STILL couldn't find me and ask for some more info to help them. So at least they're not giving up.

If they do manage to find me (and the dickhead in question) and it showed the event and his face with any clarity I/they will update the police. What they decide to do with it is in their hands.

How horrible, good for you for shouting at him and for getting in touch with the police.

I'm not sure about the idea that women are targeted more than men by these arseholes (the sidelines are nearly always men welding their strength though). I think if you happen to be a man who is smaller in stature than the offending man then you're very vulnerable too. More than one male friend has had a man randomly but intentionally smash a bottle over his face when out. There are lots of similar instances of men being jumped in the streets by other men. Not fighting (that happens a lot too but I have little sympathy for either side and it's generally alcohol fuelled), but unprovoked attacks - there was a young man killed a few years back when an angry man ran up behind him and punched him in the back of the head for no reason. I'd agree that women are less likely to kick up a fuss due to social conditioning though, which is sad.