Properly shaken up - really hurt (intentionally) whilst shopping

[Vinosaurus]

I was in Tesco about an hour ago - it was pretty busy but people all had masks on and were trying their best in the main to keep their distance ... as was I.

I don't really know what happened exactly, or why he did it, but I was picking up some fromage frais - nobody particularly close by - and I suddenly got shoved from behind. Turned my head to be presented with a alpha male type who lifted his arm (trying to explain that this was very much intentional and meant to hurt) and elbowed me in the back of the ribs with some real force. It was enough to wind me and cause me some real pain.

He walked off pretty briskly but squared up to me (from a distance) when I shouted after him "what the hell do do you think you're doing? You're an idiot!" (not my finest moment and probably very unwise but I was so shocked), although I think he thought better of it when he realised how many people were around. I was walking away by then, trying to calm myself down (had horrid heart palpitations - probably due to the adrenaline!) and just get away from the situation.

A couple of women (separately) caught up to me to see if I was ok/say they'd seen what happened/congratulate me on pulling him up on it - which was very kind, but I am still super tearful and shaken up. I'm a 42 yr old woman, FFS, really need to get a grip, have a glass of wine and forget about it.

He may be an alpha male but he is also a misogynistic coward.

Alpha males don't attack defenseless lone women from behind and then scuttle away. But no doubt he considers himself an alpha...

You have 100% done the right thing in reporting this to the police.

Hope you are Ok

Well done, OP. Hope you are feeling better.

I was violently shoved into a wall once by a random man (in an expensive suit) on the underground. I guess I was in his way. I, like you, was far too shocked and shaken to think straight at the time, so I didn’t report it. Have regretted it ever since.

Well done for reporting OP and I hope the Police can find and arrest him.

Dc3 you're an absolute plum

The police will investigate and if the CCTV is good they’ll probably do a public appeal to find him

On what fluffy planet would this happen?
The police have made reassuring noises, that's all. And that's all they will do. Public appeal? Ridiculous.

@Vinosaurus

Thank you all, DH is home from work now and being lovely.

I know I probably should, and was thinking "should I?" when I was still there, but then was thinking ... "was it my fault, did I do something wrong?" Not that it would have deserved being treated like that even if I had. To be honest I just wanted to get out of there.

I'm not surprised you didn't;t think to take it further at the time - you must have had such a shock. It's hard t think clearly when something like that happens.

Hope you're feeling much better now.

That sounds really frightening, Vinosaurus, what a bastard!

I hope the police can track him down and arrest him.

I'm really sorry to read your post, I would have been terrified too.

Oh my goodness this sounds absolutely awful op. I hope you are feeling less shaky now.

This reminds me of the incident man when a man pushed a woman in to the path of a bus while he was out jogging, seemingly just because she was there and he could.

I don't think he was ever caught.

I am so sorry you went through that Vino and hope you are ok

DC3 - I see your posts have been deleted, so thank you to who reported them. I've seen what you said in quotes and I have 2 acronyms for you - RTFT and ODFO.

I'm good, both DH and DB (who is staying with us over lockdown - been in our bubble since March) have been super kind, and completely support my decision to report him.

The more stories I read the more angry and frustrated I get. I classify myself as a feminist, but have recently (including today's experience) been realising how conditioned (as per a PP on this thread mentioned) I am to minimise my experiences and not recognise them as a result of misogyny.

Well done OP, you’ve been magnificent every step of the way. Be kind to yourself over the next little while as these things have to work their way through our systems.

to all the women here who’ve been on the receiving end of cowardly males’ attacks.

@SleepySheepy

You've been assaulted, you need to report it to the police OP. I'm so sorry you encountered such a twat

Nah, not assualted. Unacceptable and should be noted but no police officer would entertain that as an assault.

What a ridiculous and dismissive post, ladyamy, the actual police thought differently.

Nah, not assualted. Unacceptable and should be noted but no police officer would entertain that as an assault.

In what world @ladyamy42069 is walking up to stranger, pushing them, and then elbowing them in the ribs with force not assault?

The police officer I spoke to did - and as per the Victim Letter they emailed me after the call (very efficient) "The details of this offence have been recorded under the classification of Assault without Injury - Common assault and battery"

Sorry - previous post directed towards ladyamy42069

That is assault. Quite a serious assault.

Not sure ladyamy read the OP properly.

What kind of knob comes onto a thread like this to victim-blame and/or minimise? Fgs.

Really glad you have people at home being lovely to you OP

So sorry this happened to you OP. Well done for shouting after him and reporting this assault.
Also, a personal thank you... I left my violent husband over 15 years ago now and put a lot of work in to my recovery, had counselling etc. Feel like a totally different person and so much more confident. However, when I first read your post and replies I felt so stupid as it wouldn’t occur to me to report this awful incident. Makes me realise that my boundaries still need serious work as reporting is absolutely the right thing to do.

What a horrible thing to happen. I hope you’re ok and that they get him, the bastard.

Was he trying to steal your purse? Only at that point you'd selected your fromage frais and were about to turn around so caught him in the act and the punch was to deflect interest from his actual purpose?

My dd, who was then 15 was assaulted in a theatre by an older woman sat in front of her. At the time she was with MIL and at the opposite end of the country. MIL minimised everything and sulked like a child when DH and I called the local police to report it where she was staying.
MIL continued to minimise, sulk and feign embarassment and was told in no uncertain terms by the officer that DD had been assaulted and had every right to involve them.

The police were brilliant, they tried via the theatre to track down the woman but never managed to. DD did learn a valuable lesson in standing up for herself despite others and it's just another of the many things I've never forgiven MIL for.

You are not making a fuss and this is not your fault. [Flowers]