Dp cannot watch the dc whilst I work.

[cottonTailTrail]

I am in a really tough situation.

Dp works from home but earns very little profit. I currently work 4 days a week. We basically live off my earnings.

Recently dp has become unwell and he cannot look after our dc by himself.

There are no holiday clubs for the Xmas holidays and no family or friends that can help with childcare. Even when holiday clubs resume I will still have inset days and illnesses which mean days off.

Basically I need to be home with my dc whenever they're off school. Understandably my employer is not ok with this.

I have my resignation letter in front of me now and I just don't know how we will survive financially once I leave this job.

Does anyone have any advice or are in a similar situation?

I feel like I will never be able to work again unless I can set up something from home. Or the dc are old enough to look after themselves.

[cologne4711]

OP don't give up your job.

The kids won't behave, and DP is "triggered", so you'd plunge yourself into penury? Hmmm. DP and kids need to both do their bit so you can earn the money to feed and house them!

The kids can learn not to fight and they can also learn not to scream. As far as your DP is concerned, there's a difference between poor mental health and self-indulgence. Not sure which side of the line your DP.

[ViciousJackdaw]

The kids can learn not to fight and they can also learn not to scream

Indeed. What happens when they do scream and fight? Do they get a lily-livered 'Oliver, we don't push' and 'Indoor voices please'? Do they ever hear a very firm 'Stop that right NOW'? or 'Any more X and there won't be any Y'. It seems to be a recurring problem so I assume neither of you have perfected 'the look'.

It is perfectly possible to get them to understand that Mum/Dad means business, better do what they say without shouting. You may need to simply toughen up with them.

[Elieza]

Apologies if this has already been said, but if you resign I heard you get no benefits for 13 weeks? Surely it would be better to be sacked under those circs?

[Flutter12]

I hope the meeting goes ok and your work are understanding about your situation

Great advice from the PP who said about having no benefits if you resign I didn’t think about this! And if your DH is not ill enough to get disability benefits then you’ll be less likely to get any sort of UC very quickly as in their eyes you can both work full time but you’re choosing not to.

[minipie]

Indeed. What happens when they do scream and fight? Do they get a lily-livered 'Oliver, we don't push' and 'Indoor voices please'? Do they ever hear a very firm 'Stop that right NOW'? or 'Any more X and there won't be any Y'. It seems to be a recurring problem so I assume neither of you have perfected 'the look'.

Just to say, I am firm to the point of granite, implement consequences, and have a look that would freeze lava. My children still scream and fight... some kids are harder to teach than others. (Agree the OP shouldn’t resign though).

[Flutter12]

Indeed. What happens when they do scream and fight?

I’d like to know to what extent they’re screaming and fighting.

Me and my siblings used to fight but not in an extreme way and my mum would shout at us to stop and we’d stop.

What kind of a relationship does your DH have with the DCs?

Is he the soft type who just plays with them and buys them things? Or is he the strict one that is the one who gives them rules tells them when to go to bed etc?
What things does he do with them?