Most bonkers complaint/dispute you’ve had at work?

[ChooseYourLameName]

Someone rang me today to complain I’d sent them a letter in an envelope I’d licked!

I don’t have any envelopes to lick. They all have a sticky bit you expose by removing the seal.

I couldn’t quite believe it. When I said it really wasn’t licked, he said ‘‘I can smell mouthwash you know!’’ Only satisfied when I said although I really didn’t lick it, I would post any future letters with tape to avoid misunderstanding. The strangest professional call I’ve had to ever take, bloody hell.

What’s your most bonkers dispute?

I once had a colleague complain that my bap was too close to her drink in the fridge and she was vegetarian. I quickly agreed to move it to another shelf but she still didn’t seem pleased it was still close by!

I used to work in a bank, but not in a customer facing branch role, in a head office department. I once had a customer appear in reception demanding to see me. It was my lunch break and I was on my way out but I stopped at reception to speak to her, thinking it was the helpful thing to do. She kept me there for almost an hour, meaning I missed my break, and seriously pissed off my husband who had been waiting outside for me as we had a restaurant booked for lunch (this was pre mobile phones). Later that day she complained to my manager that I stopped to speak to her whilst wearing a coat and carrying a handbag and it was a disgraceful show of unprofessional behaviour. And worse than that, despite me having given up my lunch break to salvage a relationship with a demanding customer who shouldn't even have been on the premises, he agreed with her. No good deed goes unpunished.

Not one I've been on the receiving end of but rather one I embarrassingly was responsible for... I will say in my defence I was coming off a run of nights in a busy ED (back when we used to do 7 x 12.5hr nights on and then have 7 off - the week off was great but to get to it was hellish and not uncommon to lose the power of speech!). Finished my last shift and decided I'd call at the newsagent to pick up my copy of a weekly magazine before going home to bed. Scoured the shelves and could only see the previous week's edition so I asked at the counter and was told it only came out on Thursdays. "Yes but today is Thursday?" "No love it's Tuesday." Except I didn't believe him, grabbed a bottle of pop and the daily newspaper and left muttering (loudly) about how he was obviously muddled with his days... wasn't until I got home and turned the TV on that I finally realised yes it was Tuesday :( (yes I did return on the Thursday and apologise profusely while obtaining the golden magazine!)

I once had to mediate a dispute between two grown adults on my team because person A had sat in the person B’s “seat” in the canteen, and, refused to move when person B returned. Despite there being plenty of empty seats around that either A or B could have used.

Working as cabin crew; all passengers boarded, including a family who had picked up McDonald's meals at the airport and once seated, proceeded to happily munch their Big Macs and happy meals. We take off and start the meal service and another family with young children start kicking off that they don't want the 'chicken or beef' on offer from the meal cart, they want the McDonald's menu - their children want burgers and fries like the other family had. No amount of explaining could persuade them that the other family had bought their food at the airport and brought it on board. The parents ended up screaming that we were all racist (despite my being the same race as them) and being deliberately cruel denying their children what they wanted! I think they genuinely thought we had a McDonalds short order kitchen in the galley and were being obstinate not whipping them up a quick burger and fries!

I work for a Conveyancer. We had a client complain that he didn’t benefit from the current SDLT holiday as he completed a good month before it was even announced. It was our fault he had missed out apparently.

@GreyWall

Where the flying fuck do I start?! So many crazies out there!!!😂

Just start it makes some of us feel better

DH used to work in the HR department. He once had an employee ring in that he hasn't been paid that month. DH checked... He had failed to turn up for the past six weeks. The guy had a hard time accepting that he had to actually attend work to be paid.

I worked a Christmas in a well known department store. Someone had bought their scientist husband a £15 TOY microscope (yellow and red plastic thing). They brought it back to the store complaining that it didn't function well and he couldn't use it for his work. I wasnt exactly sure what to say, it was from the toy department and very clearly not a sophisticated piece of scientific equipment. It was very odd, I thought they must be a little on the batty side. I was very nice to them though.

I worked in a car dealership (I've been in the motor trade all my life, there's been some absolute pearlers) and a customer came back absolutely incandescent that he'd 'counted every single mint imperial' in his centre console and there was 'definitely one missing'.
We were all 😳
The LAST thing a technician would do is steal a customer's mint imperial. It's widely known that other people's cars are an absolute pit of filth, even the clean ones.
The technician was agog. In the end, a salesman nipped down the road to Esso and got him a new bag.

Oh I forgot to add, this was after the service manager offered to have the car thoroughly inspected to ensure it 'hadn't rolled under the seat' and the technician offering to have his breath checked.
Those halcyon days.

i worked for a high street ladies clothing store and always worked on a saturday at the changing rooms....less went missing on a saturday, a lady came to try some things on and handed me her fur coat....i dropped it as i hate the feel of real fur, she demanded to speak to my manager and ranting about how expensive her coat was and demanding a discount, my manager let her rant on and then said...i would have have done the same as i hate the feel of fur. several times i have gone into a well known discount store....i often wear basic black t-shirt same as the store uniform, i was asked where something was, i said it was probably on that aisle, a few mins later she came rushing up to me saying how stupid i was for not knowing the layout of the stock and if something was out of stock...i let her rant on then said very slowly....i do not work here i was just trying to be helpful.

I worked on the customer relations lines for a train company about 20 years ago (one which was infamous for complaints at the time). The complaint which still stays with me was the fairly tipsy person who called from a train to complain there was no lemon for their G&T. I replied ‘Sir, I’m not sure what outcome you want. me to buy a lemon and meet the train at new street station?’
(I didn’t!)

I spent years in restaurant and shop work so have seen a lot! I was working in a well know department store when a bloke came in to refund a pair of jeans. Took me a couple of minutes to realise that the jeans were an own brand from a completely unrelated store. The receipt was in fact from us but had our own brand showing on them. Even though I explained there was no way this brand of jeans could be processed through our till he stood and argued with me for over half an hour that he had definitely bought them from us. Then he argued with the floor manager another half an hour, then the store manager another half an hour again. He even phoned his wife to get her to join in. He left with the jeans but was adamant he'd come back another day for his refund.

RiftGibbon
The person asked for your title. That’s not uncommon, cheeky, rude or disrespectful.
I would have been confused when you refused too.

Healthcare - too many to mention.

There was the guy who complained his demented mother (inpatient) had thrown her false teeth away, and we hadn’t rummaged through the clinical waste bins to try and find them but instead arranged for her to have new gnashers within a few days. She shouldn’t have had new teeth, we should have found her old ones as she was used to those.

The woman who made me cry actually, by accusing me of killing her as-yet not conceived baby with her imaginary cervical cancer, because I told her very politely, professionally and kindly I couldn’t do a cervical smear on demand as the lab wouldn’t process it as it wasn’t due for a year and even if I took the sample they would just destroy it. I even told her how she could get one done privately if she wanted, but that wasn’t good enough and she made an official complaint against me. It wasn’t upheld but she was so spitefully vicious and nasty she really upset me. And I’m pretty tough as I’ve been doing this job a bloody long time and rarely let things like that get to me.

Then there’s the funny ones such as the woman who insisted the GP couldn’t do a home visit as she lived in a bungalow not a home. And the woman who asked for a prostate exam as her husband had had one and she wanted one too.

@LondonlovesLola no he was asking for RiftGibbons marital status, not job title. It’s none of his business whether she’s a Miss Mrs or Ms and has no bearing on the issue.

Oh God, so many over the years in hospitality.

I used to work in a cafe/bistro right on the sea front, we were experiencing very high winds and rain that whipped the sand straight up the beach and of course it stuck to the windows. Experience told us that cleaning the windows while this was going on was pointless because it took seconds to be back to the same state again. Had someone complain that the view was obscured due to the dirty windows. I explained it was the sand being blown off the beach and even if I went out to clean them, by the time I got back in they'd be in the same state as they were now. He demanded his meal 'at least half price' for the inconvenience. He didn't get it.

I worked in a bar and it was a quiet moment with a couple of regular customers in, had a few of these due to the place being a bit off the beaten track, I took one opportunity to use the toilet. I was gone maybe 3 minutes tops as I straightened things up in the toilets and replenished toilet rolls etc.
Came out to a couple standing there who started carrying on that there was no one to serve them as I'd 'vanished' and that it really wasn't acceptable for me to go to the toilet when customers wanted serving (one of the regulars had told them I'd nipped to the loo and wouldn't be a minute) I apologised for the wait etc etc but was a bit 🙄 at the idea people like me aren't allowed to use a toilet because getting a glass of merlot is of the highest priority and waiting less than 3 minutes would clearly cause life long and lasting affects.

Loads after reopening after the pandemic, including a dressing down for not smiling at customers, the fact I was, but was wearing a mask and visor apparently is totally irrelevant. They could tell by the tone of my voice that I wasn't smiling.

Ohh I've got one! This is probably outing if you know my family but nevermind.

I grew up in a pub where the restaurant was at the far end and extended round a corner so was obscured unless you were stood in the restaurant.

Round the corner we had a big Welsh dresser where we made hot drinks, kept crockery etc. In the bottom cupboards we also stored boxes of condiment sachets for our outside seating area.

It was very clear that this was for staff to access only and not for customers to help themselves.

One evening when the restaurant was shut my mum, the landlady, walked around the corner to find one of our regulars on his hands and knees stuffing his pockets with ketchup sachets

When politely challenged he stood up and shouted at her that she didn't know what it was like having a disabled daughter!

My mum agreed that no, indeed she didn't, but she didn't think that was an excuse to be stealing ketchup.

We had no idea he even had a daughter, let alone that she was disabled and was apparently fed entirely on ketchup

The daft thing is we used to go out of our way for our regulars. If he'd asked nicely and explained why he needed it we'd probably have just given him a box of sachets and been fine about it.

He stormed out, without leaving the ketchup, and I don't think we ever heard about his daughter again!

I did a stint as cabin crew a long time ago. In the dead of night, on a transatlantic flight, a passenger walked into the galley and said “What do you think of this?” as he pulled a flick knife out of his pocket and held it up in front of me.

He then told me he wanted me to file a report to the CAA and the airline security, about the dire state of security at the American airport he had boarded at. He said he pulled this stunt on every flight he took from the US, and that security was appalling and something should be done about it.

I filed that report.

Less than six months later 911 happened. Airport security changed overnight. I have often wondered how he felt about being proved so catastrophically right.

We were an office of 35 people. A middle manager (whom I shall call X) accused 17 of them of bullying him. (Not me, Thank God.)
My colleagues were formally interviewed and asked why they hadn't invited X to join them on their family holidays.
X accused his own apprentice of bullying him. The apprentice sang in a band and invited the office to his gigs. The apprentice was able to show that X had received the email invitations. They'd been sent to everyone. The apprentice had 20 pages of accusations to answer including "he looked at me in a nasty way."
HR never formally told the apprentice he was cleared. They paid X to go away. The apprentice never got over the experience.

[quote ShowMeYourCat]@Crinkle77 or you could just say ‘no thank you’ like other people did, rather than complain about the teenager who has been asked to offer them and who is just doing her job. Plenty of shops ask similar questions, it’s hardly a massive intrusion[/quote]
I'm not blaming the shop assistant. I'm blaming the senior management who make their staff do shit like that. Why don't they realise that it's annoying for the customers?

@AlexaShutUp you’ve reminded me of a complaint I received from a job applicant about a member of my team.

He interviewed for a job, was informed he was unsuccessful, then came back with a litany of complaints including the fact that he sneezed during the interview and was very upset because he felt the interviewer did not say “bless you” fast enough which therefore proved he was never really considered for the job, and amounted to discrimination.

I have a few:
-worked in a department store and after Christmas a customer wanted to exchanged an Alba CD player for a brand one. I explained Alba is an Argos own brand so they needed to go there. Asked if I was messing and if I was bothered I could do that for her. I declined
-worked for UK nationality department (people who wanted to become naturalised British Citizens). Had a call from a non- British Citizen who wanted to travel to India and wanted to know if they needed a visa. I explained they needed to contact Indian authorities as it was their rules. Asked if I was always so useless
-shopping in a supermarket and was asked where something was. I said I didn't know and they said they were going to complain and I should know. I explained that I didn't work there was told I wasn't going to get away with that excuse and they would ask for me to be sacked

My first job working in poundstretchers and a woman comes up to the till furious because the disposable cameras she bought for a wedding didn’t work.

All I could do was offer her a refund, but she wasn’t happy with that because the pictures weren’t included

She wanted me to find a way to get the pictures back

I let the manager deal with that one

I explained that I didn't work there was told I wasn't going to get away with that excuse and they would ask for me to be sacked