If you found a universal translator which meant you could talk to your pet..

[TW2013]

.. What would you say?

I would tell my cat that the big rectangular opening at the back of the house (otherwise known as a door) which she always uses to exit the house works perfectly well both ways and there is absolutely no reason for her to walk out of the back, around to the front door and sit crying to be let in making the neighbours think that she has been abandoned. She certainly doesn't need to do this numerous times a day.

Well of course I would tell her she's so pretty (yes she is) and ask her where she got all that lovely fur from

Pretty much what I say to her every other day of her life

Also, You need to get MNHQ to edit your title to specify that pictures are mandatory

My dog understands everything I say to him so I don't need a translator!
I understand his answers too!

Ours died last year but I would have asked him if he had any idea just how much we love him.

I would ask him why, in spite of being very intelligent and lovely in every other way, he cannot learn not to pull like a bloody train on the lead!

I would ask her what it's like to have a tail. I'd like to try it

I would remind him
Where he came from and that he was literally starving when he came to live here. He really shouldn't be so fussy about his food.

Oh, and no other cat I've ever had thought it was OK to sit on the table. What makes him so different?

I would tell my dog it really isn’t necessary to get off his comfy cushion to follow me to the loo, sit outside the door, then follow me back only to lie on the cushion again.

I would have asked our dearly departed ddog why she absolutely hated the collie across the road. She wasn't a fan of any dodg but she went loopy when she saw that one. So far as to nearly exit our lounge window trying to get it..
Lounge is upstairs..

I would ask my 3 yr old dog why he gets so nervous at times. We got him at 8 wks old and he has never had a cross word said to him, yet sometimes he rolls onto his back in a submissive way and looks petrified.

I would ask my horse about her early years, who she lived with, what activities she did, etc.

I would exain to our rabbit that as he will not stop dominating and now barbering his younger brother he is going to get his bollocks chopped next week. That is why he is in a Seperate area of the hutch!

I would tell my cat that although I appreciate the presents she brings in the kitchen, I'd be happier to appreciate them OUTSIDE. And that I don't like frogs as much as she seems to think I do. (I'd also use the translator to apologise to them as they are always alive when she brings them in and miaows at me )

I have so many questions for the cat.
Where did she live before we got her from the RSPCA?
Why doesn't she want a cat brother or sister?
Why does she love my husband more than me?
Did she used to fart a lot with her last owner too?
What is the problem with cuddles?

I would ask her to stop biting me and explain that she would be more welcome in the living room if she stopped weeing there. Then again she's only 12 weeks old so she'll probably figure it herself eventually.

Have you seen the tiktok videos where dogs learn to use word buttons? They’re hilarious.

I would tell him lovingly, that at 13 he can chill out and enjoy his retirement. I've got the security sorted and he can rest and enjoy cuddles and treats.

@Omeara

My dog understands everything I say to him so I don't need a translator! I understand his answers too!

Echo this, only very slightly louder as my ddog had gone deaf.

Still love him lumps.

Bunny is one of the dogs.

www.today.com/pets/how-teach-dog-talk-buttons-according-one-owner-t185757

I would try to find out whether, as my DD claims, I did brain damage him at 4 weeks of age by stroking him too hard or if he really is as dim as he presents.
He is the loveliest dog, fabulously loving nature but as thick as 2 short planks

Oh........ so many questions!
Why do you eat all your kibble from the middle of the bowl then cry cry cry until I move the side bits back into the middle
Do you think I'm a portable cushion. You dont have to climb on me EVERYTIME I sit down
What are you saying when you chatter to birds through the window?
When your sick why do you run away from the laminate and onto carpet/the rug/my coat
Could think of many more

I would tell her that we have never ever left her to starve (nor even become even slightly peckish tbh) so she doesn't need to rip the hallway carpet up if we don't fill her food bowl within 10 seconds of her asking.

My theory is cats are propelled back when retching so they need grip, there was always a look of panic on our cats face when sick on the polished porcelain tiles. In the end he went outside to be sick on the lawn.

I would explain to her that the days I wear a particular blue and navy combo means that I'm going to work, not just going on a very long walk without her. I would then need to explain the concept of work.

They could blackmail us though, “feed me exclusively on chew sticks or I’m telling dad you hide cake in the cupboards”.

Pets have loads of dirt on us.

I would tell my DCat that it isn't time to be fed you last had a pouch a hour ago and don't get fed till tea time .
But I believe my cat understands perfectly well just chooses to ignore me .