If you found a universal translator which meant you could talk to your pet..

[TW2013]

.. What would you say?

I would tell my cat that the big rectangular opening at the back of the house (otherwise known as a door) which she always uses to exit the house works perfectly well both ways and there is absolutely no reason for her to walk out of the back, around to the front door and sit crying to be let in making the neighbours think that she has been abandoned. She certainly doesn't need to do this numerous times a day.

I would ask Big Cat what 'wrrrt!' means and whether it varies depending on context. I would ask Little Cat what he wants for breakfast BEFORE I open three different tins for him to peruse with an absent-minded expression on his face and then politely reject.

@SweetPetrichor that's hilarious - poor intellectually challenged spiders

I would tell my horse, DON'T PANIC! Nothing is going to eat you. Especially not a dock plant or a flappy plastic bag.

I'd ask DCat to stop watching me shower! Every morning without fail she sits and stares as I wash. And I'd want daily updates about where she'd been and what she'd been up to. And thank her for doing her business else where, we only have to change the litter about once a month as she prefers to pee and poo al fresco!

I want to know why one of my dogs needs to bark at the side gate when no-one is there, and then immediately look at the door to see if I'm watching her stood barking.

I'd tell the other dog his dick isn't going to fall off, he keeps checking every few minutes it's still attached.

I'd tell one of my ball pythons she's too big to be scared of me picking her up every few days to try to calm her down and get used to being handled, I'm not going to hurt her.

I'd ask the friendliest ball python why he likes tasting my earrings, that heat signature he's picking up on is a cuppa, not a rat , and what's so bloody interesting down the back of the sofa?😅

I'd ask why he keeps getting on my knee when I go to the loo. I'd ask his sister why she follows me around like a shadow.

I think cats know perfectly well what we say to them. They just don't care.

Love this thread!

I'd ask dcats if they know how much they're loved - and tell them how glad I am they chose me to come home with from the rescue.

And then I would ask the fluffy one why she likes chewing plastic and what I can do to help her poo more normally... And ask the slinky one exactly what it is she does that results in losing a claw or three every few months, and what I can do to help with that!

Mostly I think I'd just chat at them like I normally do - they reply and we communicate pretty well most of the time 💕

Pics attached!

This is a lovely thread. I would ask our 1 year old rescue cat what it was like living on an allotment, why she turns her nose up at food she previously liked, and what she thinks about all day.

I would ask mine if he knows how much joy and laughter he brings to our home. Every. Single. Day.

I would also tell him that the fireworks will never hurt him.

Rolling in fox poo is never a good idea!

....and our survival is not dependent on him scaring the postman away. Every. Single. Day.

Ah some lovely pets out there and yes they do communicate in their own way.

I too would like to know why they love human designated fish if there are any scraps to be had, especially tuna, yet give them cat food tuna and it is as if we are poisoning him.

I would also ask our girl cat what she is thinking when she sits and stares into the distance for ages, often on a box, or a piece of paper will do.

I would ask him:-
Why he doesn’t like walking on pavements and why he has an obsession with men.

I'd also ask what's got into her tonight? Ddog is very hyper this evening.

Also why does she sleep so much?