What are the most often uttered phrases in your house?

[Mabelface]

Mine are
"You've been fed"
"It's not teatime yet"
These are said to the cat.

I say the exact same thing to the the dog! All the time!
But I’d never say it to the cat, she’s the boss here

Exactly the same, also to the cats!

Oh, FFS (to one of my cats)
Leave that plant alone (also to a cat)
Get me some chocolate babe (me to DP when he goes to the kitchen)...

"Oh, I needed that." Me, when I get a cup of tea.

DC have often said it before I can

That is not ok, it’s like Blackpool illuminations in here, shut the door. All to the children-I’m turning into my mother.

“You can’t possibly be hungry again” said to 7 year old DS

“Get off that phone” said to 11 year old dd.

“Hello mummy’s girl” said to the puppy

'Do you need the toilet?'
'I don't want to see your willy'
'Can you hear me?'
'Please drink some water'

They're my most uttered phrases.

No
Put that back
Do you need a wee?
Bloody hell

"Have you washed your hands?"

"Do you want some ice in that?"

"When will you be home?"

"Where are you working today?"

'In or bloody out?'

'I've just fed you'

'It's not bloody poison and you ate it yesterday'

All to the cat.

"Door!!!!!"

Don't do that you'll set mummy off.

I don't know where your headphones are.

It's 30 years since my a levels give me chance to look stuff up

can you tell we have a teen

Indoor voice
Go to the toilet
Blow, don't sniff
Stop jumping on your sister

Pressed post too soon
All ^ to my 4yo

To my 9yo
Put the book down
Have you found your school/dance things
Put the book down
Have you got your water bottle
Put the book down

To the 4 month old
Time to change your pants
You're so cute

To my husband
I need a drink

Shit on it! (In a Martin voice)
Whose turn is it to make tea?

Stop tipping the chair (many many times a day)
Do you need the toilet?
You haven’t dried your hands have you?
To almost 5yo DS

Have you done a poo? To 2 yo DD

No. You can't have insert food you're a cat.

Did she not give you deams (dreamies cat treats) she's the meanest sister/mumma.

Have you packed your bag? Got your lunch? Drink? Hot chocolate? Locker key? Door key? Purse? Have a lovely day honey.

Stop scrolling tiktok on the toilet and pee faster.

Who's the chonkiest? (Mainly at the cat)

Anal butt gook

Green cock gook

Usually accompanied by 'hand me a tissue' and a sick face

We have a boy dog who leaks the above ^^

Where are the cats?

For fuck sake!

Why is there dirty clothing strewn all over your room?

Hurry up.

I say this a lot to my DDs, age 9 and 12, especially the older one.

To the kids:

Who the fuck has had my ??!!

Why is this house such a shit tip?

Please tidy up your mess!

To the dog:

Who’s mummy’s good boy?

Wanna bikkit?

In a minute 😂

"Please don't lick the baby" is frequently said to baby No.1 (12 months old) when they approach baby No.2 (6 months old)

"Leave Mr. Bloodywhitecat's toes alone!" also said to baby No.1 who keeps trying to eat DP's toes.