What are the most often uttered phrases in your house?

[Mabelface]

Mine are
"You've been fed"
"It's not teatime yet"
These are said to the cat.

Had anyone seen the hamster??? (We have 4 and they're quite good at escaping!)
Stop climbing on that (the rabbit)
Can I have the wire for my phone?

Oh good you’ve found the golf
Oh good you’ve found the football
It’s your turn to empty the dishwasher.

Oh you're such a handsome chap.
Come to Momma.
Have you had a lump?

All addressed to my beautiful cat.

Where’s mum?
Football is on tonight.
Where are my football boots?
I need wine.

Live laugh love .. with a HuGE eye roll ..

We don’t sniff bottoms in this house!
Have you done a poo? Turn around, let me sniff.

Former to DCats, latter to DD with DCats glaring from a distance.

"FGS don't sniff his bum, it's not appropriate . He's your brother "

Not to my DD and DS (thankfully) but Female Cat when she sniffs at MaleCat

Let your sister poo in peace - boycat keeps trying to lick her bum as she poos
No licking my bum - when I am at the toilet
You've already been fed
Come out of the bin
(This is all to my 6m kittens)

Love you
Can I have a drink/something to eat.
Where's the remote?

'Get off the stairs you stupid cat, you'll kill someone'
'Close the chuffing door'
'Take your shoes off'
'Who's trod mud into the carpet?'
'You've only just had a mea'
'Oh WHAT?! (in response to 'Muuuuuuuuum,)
'One at a time, I can only speak to one person at once'
'Where you left it'
'I don't know, it's your coat/shoes/hat/toy/book/glasses etc etc'

That was cathartic.

To DP - “do you want tea?”
To the cat - “in or out”, “no, it’s not time yet”

For fucks sake
Jesus wept
Muuuummmmm

Also 'Love you'

I swear and hug a lot

"Turn that down!" To our son about his tv and radio "Give me thaaaaat" To either our son or the kittens "Get off the table/kitchen island/counter" to the kittens

When's dinner?
What's for dinner?
I'm hungry?

Stop screaming at that xbox/PlayStation (to the 12 year old)
Tidy up your mess (to the 6 year old that destroys every room he sets foot in within minutes)
For god sake stop getting crumbs everywhere (also to the 6 year old)
Rubbish goes in the bin, not behind the couch (again 6 year old)
Take your shoes of at the door (to everyone. Dp is the worst for not doing it)
Go and lie down (to the dog that follows me to the kitchen everytime I go in)

"somefing else to eat"

FFS.
If I have to pick that up it's going in the bin.
Close the door.
Put your wellies on.

Leave. The. Cat. Alone!
No, you can't possibly be hungry
It's not snack time
Right, that's it!

Door and for fuck sake

Dinner's ready.
Cup of tea?
Don't panic Mr Mainwaring!!!

Kin el

To dd2 ‘to the child that’s never skipped a meal...’
‘I’ve seen more meat on a cocktail stick’, when dds say they’re fat. They’re not, they’re very slender I’m jealous.
‘Dinner!!!’
‘Bababavbababababath time!’

Close the door you're letting the cold in.
Turn the bathroom light/tap off.
Have you wiped properly?
Haven't you heard of coronavirus?! (Said to young DC who pretend to play at crawling and being dogs, then lick each other)

Shall we have a brew?
Have you got your mask?
That was your phone pinging.
Is the dishwasher on ? (Yes, we lead a boring life..... )