What are the most often uttered phrases in your house?

[Mabelface]

Mine are
"You've been fed"
"It's not teatime yet"
These are said to the cat.

"Have you done a poo?"
"Do you need the toilet?"
"It's ok"
"Don't sit on the cat"
"Ffs" (under my breath)

"Fucks sake".... No kids... Yet....

It probably won't change in my head when we do have kids haha....

Oh for fucks sake.
When my absolutely loved children ask for another snack after just finishing one

To DS6:
"Don't start"
"Take a breath" (when he's on the verge of losing it)
"Skedaddle"
"Do you want a cuddle?"

It’s In the right ballpark - DH
It needs a bit of jiggery pokery - DH

What shifts did you say you are on this week? - Me to dh
Can’t believe it’s almost Monday again- Me. To myself, or dh.

Not terribly exciting.....

Oh and "God fucking dammit" (under my breath or when I'm alone in a room...)

WHERE'S MY CHARGER???????
Who's turn is it to empty the dishwasher?
Throw your washing down
DINNERS READY
LET THE DOG OUT/IN
Where's the dog?

Fucks sake.
Anyone making a cuppa?
Has the dog been fed?

When's dinner?
What's for dinner?

Stop arguing....I have children who bicker endlessly

You’re the best mummy!

I articulate this on behalf of the cats.

Walk!
Stop bouncing on the sofa
Wash your hands

Before I saw a single post on here I came on this thread to say
"Has anyone fed the cat?"
"Yes"
"He's lying"

“I was just about to ..”

Said by the person who is being asked (By me) to do something for at least the third time.

Baby boy
Baby girl
I see it's time for your SECOND breakfast
Fucks Sake

All said to the cats 😻

Tea?
Hurry up!
Jesus Christ!
Did you close the door?
Bloody hell!
Where's that damned cat?

"Don't do that!" - to DDog.
"Will you COME HERE" - to DDog
"Oh why have you chewed that?" - to DH (no, I'm joking, it's DDog again)

Sit on the chair properly

Swallow your food you've been chewing the same mouthful for five minutes

Feet!

Door!

Light!

Why has the toilet not been flushed? Again.

Oh ffs

Don't get old kid it's a trap.

Mind your fingers! - 2 year old
Stop farting! - DH

Fucks sake (pretty much all day WFH)

FUCK OFF (to anything I drop on the floor)

Don't bite your brother's willy (to the cats)

Brekkie / lunch / tea times (to the cats)

Between DD and me , it's dinnerladies , Monty Python and Still Game phrases .
The odd Line of Duty creeeps in.

We sometimes have a competition to see how many we can insert into conversation on a trip to Bluewater .

The cats speak in a Russian accent , they aren't Russian Blue or even British Blue , or anything blue , they're Black Moggies .

Poor DH , he worries for our sanity

Pick...the fu**in wet towels up....my ds is 18!

"SOCKS!!!"
"SHOES!!!"
"GO TO BED!!!"
"RUB THE TOOTH BRUSH ON YOUR TEETH!!!"
"Stop bouncing!"
"Stop chewing your hair!"

No running in the house.