What are the most often uttered phrases in your house?

[Mabelface]

Mine are
"You've been fed"
"It's not teatime yet"
These are said to the cat.

Why are there only 3* pairs of boxers in the laundry basket?

*insert any number below about 5.

I have 2 teens so should be washing 14 pairs per week

Ffs

Where are the keys?

Where is my bank card?

Daisy, no. Daisy, don't do that. I said no. All to five month old puppy, who had me pinned to the bottom stair today, because she was trying to bite my feet.

Thank goodness I can leave her to DD and partner.

Though, puppy is just lovely, when she's asleep

"SOCKS!" "TEETH!" "JUMPERS!" "SHOES!" "JACKETS YES YOU DO NEED TO WEAR ONE! OK, IN YOUR BAG THEN! WHATEVER!" "C'MON C'MON, WE'RE OUT THE DOOR IN 5 MINUTES!" (15 minutes before we have to leave .
"No, I don't know where it is. Nope...no idea".
"Muuuuum!"
"DS1 hit me!" "DS2 was being annoying!"
"DS1, can you please pick that skateboard/ guitar/ pair of shoes/ hoodie/ grungy pair of socks off the living room floor and PUT IT WHERE IT SHOULD BE?"
"Piss off, fuckheads" (to the cats, when DC are out of earshot).

Hello, cutie little baby!
Aren't you a little baby?
That's a big stretch for such a little baby...
--Ad nauseum to the (two) thirteen-year-old cats

What do you want for breakfast/ lunch/ dinner?
--could be to humans or cats, tbh

DH & I own businesses where we call and set appointments...

Do you have an appointment today?
What time is your appointment?
After appointment...
How did it go?
What do you want to do tonight?

Ad nauseum...

Yawn 🥱

Mine's not to the cat, it's me and my OH to each other.

"He's been fed already, don't let him tell you otherwise"

"What now?!?" (after hearing mommy for the x1000000000 time)
"Stop fighting!"
"Fuck sake!"
"Is it bedtime yet??"

' Who's my best girl?' (to the dog)
'Don't feed him, he's eaten already!' (the stray cat who is getting fat on his 5+ meals a day)
'Take that out of your mouth!' (DS2 autistic and eats all sorts of inedibles)
'Where are my glasses?' ..me!

You've left the cupboard door open/ outside light on again - to dh
Stop chewing your fingers - also to dh

You've just been fed - dog
It's on the tv - when dog barks

Fuck off!
Usually at the telly for its wear masks, stay at home non-sense.

For the love of god leave the bloody cats alone. I know you love them but if they are asleep in their bed they dont want to be picked up for snuggles

Fucks sake
Jesus Christ
Love you

To the dog:
Hello beautiful
What's up then
Do you want a walk?

To DS:
Less talking more eating
No you can't have another snack
Get dressed
Put your shoes on

Fucks sake
Bastards
This Internet is bloody crap
Stop smoking in your bedroom!
Were you born in a barn?

Fucks sake
Family Time!
Move that
Pull the door to
Turn it up
Turn it down
Put the subtitles on

Your not hungry
Dont lick me when im on the toilet

To Cat 😂

2 11 year old dc here:
Stop fighting
Leave your brother alone
Have you got your homework / mask etc

To cats:
You've been fed, leave me alone for 5 minutes, your so cute

To husband ;
What's for tea, where are you (he wonders around the house a lot), when are you working (his hours change a lot)

Oh for fucks sake.

Leave the remote alone
Stop pressing buttons (remote)
Pick your headphones up
No you get up and get it your legs arent broken
Put your mask on properly
Stop fiddling with it or it will fall off
Its not dinnertime yet
Get out of the freezer/fridge/cupboards
Yes your PA has fed you dont lie to me
Go and have a shower
Go and have a shower
GO AND HAVE A SHOWER!!!!!!
SHOWER NOW!!!
All said to ds27 who has sn. I feel like recording myself sometimes and just play it on a loop

'How long has the hot water been on?' DH is obsessed.
'Can you move your car?' Much car shuffling on the drive but usually DS2.
'The cat's used the litter tray'

iPads and phones off -screamed at the kids
Your always unwell- shouted at DH
Oh, ffs- said in general

Now it’s written down, I think I could do with using nicer terms

Morning, knocks on door
Morning, knocks on door
Morning, knocks on door
Morning, knocks on door
Morning, knocks on door

SOCKS

Alexa, what's the weather forecast?

Love you.
Who's mummy's best boy/girl?
I am not feeding you again.

@MrsBungle

“You can’t possibly be hungry again” said to 7 year old DS

“Get off that phone” said to 11 year old dd.

“Hello mummy’s girl” said to the puppy

Exact same here!

7yo: mom, could I be hungry?

Me: you only had xyz 10 minutes ago!